:(Hard time...

[Nick1234]

I am having a tough time in my life, relatively early too I think. I am 14 years old. My first problem, I believe, is that I am smart, like smart enough that I let it go to my head and make people mad.
My next problem: I don't seem to fit in at my school. All the guys in my grade are immature and just make perverted jokes about everything they possibly can. I can tolerate it to a point, until they start making personal jokes. Like how my feet are big, it just seems that they make fun of me just to make me mad! And the people that do this are my closest friends.

Friend #1 is my main problem, he is my best friend and is a good one, unless we are around someone else. I am an easy target to make fun of, a slightly larger target than him, so to prevent himself from being made fun of, he immediately makes sure that I am the target, not him. When we are doing anything alone he is fine, he went through a divorce, like me, and we really seem to be similar, but he constantly makes fun of me in public. He also trusts me with everything because, I believe, I am a good friend. He gives me his passwords for everything so he doesn't lose them, and I have never used them myself or gave them away. We can talk and really just understand eachother, but he just has to put up a cover around other people.

Friend #2 isn't really a friend, he is a friend of friend #1 so I wind up hanging out with him. He also contributes in making fun of me.

Friend #3 is a good guy, he is good about keeping cool and doesn't do many jokes about me that actually make me mad. But I don't really think that he likes me.

I myself, don't find any enjoyment in calling someone else gay, or making perverted jokes about anything really. So since I don't retaliate I am the perfect target.

My Mom pushes for me to get good grades, way too hard. I get punished for a "C" but I get a "good" when I have an "A" I don't get any type of "Great Job," or anything worth working towards. I find that lately I have been making less of an attempt at anything due to this.

My Step Dad is a psycho. I will say that he never physically abused me, but he definitely doesn't really care about my feelings. He isn't a horrible person, but he drinks alot and I don't think he really even cares about me at all. My Step Dad seems to be the source of alot of my problems. Around my house there are a few things that need done and my responsibilities are: Garbages, start a fire in the wood furnace every day in winter, help stack wood in the basement, clean my room, and make my own food, and do my own dishes. (I make my own food because I really don't like anything that my parents eat, so to make it easier on my mom I make my own food.) If one of the chores isn't done, my Step Dad flips out. If my room isn't clean, he takes everything off of the floor and my dresser desk and nightstand, and throws it onto my bed. If the wood isn't done, he yells at me, if a fire isn't started, he yells at me, if the garbages aren't done, he ties the bags to my shoes so I'm late in the morning. (I'm late anyways because I don't try to get up.)


My Mom married him after she got divorced with my dad, moved in with my grandma, moved in with her friend, moved into a trailer, then took a job at the bar where she met him.

My parents were divorced when I was six, my dad met a psycho lady a few years later with 2 kids, one my age and one that was like 6 years younger. Step sibling 1 and 2. Psycho lady had multiple personalities and paranoia. She changed the locks when she moved in with my dad, she disconnected the phone line, she eventually convinced my dad to move to Florida, where she used to live. We, at the time lived in Pennsylvania. I of course would rather take a drunk over a certifiable psycho. I hadn't seen my dad for 3-4 years when my sister went down to visit him. I didn't go with her because I guess I have some issues with my dad for leaving like that. And when she was down there my dad realized that psycho lady couldn't be helped and left for Pennsylvania with his truck, his daughter, his dog, and the clothes on his back.

I guess that my point is, although I know that people have gone through worse, I am starting to feel alienated from everyone that I know, it is getting sad that I am relying on computers and video games for stress relief. I even quit the reading team because I have lost motivation to read. I feel my life is going in a downward spiral quickly and I have no one left to turn to but the public. I was actually contemplating suicide because I don't really have a reason to live, but I didn't make an attempt. Does anyone have any suggestions?:(

[cjdude]

man. i have some similarities with you. im not sure that i can help:[
i know you can make it thru this. i guess if nothing else you got support:]

[Nick1234]

Thank you, I feel better now that I got that off of my chest, I just needed to let everything out. I just hope that that feeling doesn't come back tomorrow.

[byee]

That's a lot, Nick.

I think it might be helpful to break the problems down to manageable sizes, which would allow them to be addressed individually.

I think your issues with your friends are probably the easiest to address as you have some more control there. I think you might tell them to stop teasing you, and if/when they do, remind them of that. Teasing is really a bad attempt at humor (or hostility), but if it's from people you have a reasonable relationship with, often if you make them aware that you do not appreciate it and need them to stop, they will. Eventually.

With regards to your family, the easiest one there is the situation with your step dad. Unfortunately, he's not the kind of flexible guy who will tolerate your not meeting clear expectations, like chores. So, my (very simple) advice is to do everything he expects, taking out the garbage and keeping your room tidy aren't terribly unreasonable, don't let your resentment of him get in the way. You don't need to like him, it's unfortunate your relationship isn't better, but the goal isn't so much to improve things, but to avoid more grief.

The issue with your mom might be addressed directly with a frank convo about her expectations about grades, but if you're as smart as you say, then we both know that's probably not the issue. Maybe there are other emotions (anger?) that interfere with your willingness to perform, it's not about ability?

There's been a lot that's gone on for you, and it wouldn't be surprising if you had a lot of feelings about it all, and their (mom and dad) responses to it. Parents are adults, but they don't know everything, it might be enlightening for her (and dad) to hear from you what your perspective has been on all these events and the many feelings and issues they've caused for you. It's a better convo than fighting about the garbage or getting good grades, and it might improve things for all of you.