Break up

[jjmcray]

My girlfriend and I just broke up.

I really saw myself going far with her, possibly even marrying her one day. She is the only girl I know that I can see myself being with.

I feel like I want to kill myself, but in reality, I know that probably isn't going to happen, seeing as I probably don't have the will to do such a thing, but it's definitely something I've considered and still do.

I don't know what to do. It feels like everything is happening at the wrong time, and the entire world is crashing down around me, leaving me all by myself, alone, and heartbroken.

I feel like I no longer serve a meaningful purpose.

I know, you're just going to tell me "it's just a high school relationship, there are plenty of other fish in the sea."

But some people just don't understand. She is the only girl at my school, and the only girl that I know for that matter, who liked me for what she saw through my skin, what I was on the inside. She didn't care about me being bi-racial, being overweight, being different. And now it's gone.

As stupid as this sounds, I feel like I will never be able to find another girl like her, and I will be single for the rest of my life. I actually want to get married and have kids and a whole family one day, but now I feel like that can never happen because I saw her as being the only realistic woman to be with.

I really don't know where to go from here.
She was my first girlfriend.
I don't know how to deal with this.

[Gumleaf]

i'm sorry to hear that mate. i can understand how it must be so heart braking for you. you know that the "theres plenty more fish in the sea" saying is very true. you just need to give yourself some time to move on from her. it won't be easy and will hurt you a lot, but once you get past that, you will probably begin to open your eyes again at the chances for other relationships.

[Halibut]

cheer up / move on . you need to realize that life does go on :)

[bliss]

I'm so sorry for you. I went through a tough break up 9 months ago and I'm just now getting over it. The thing is a bad break up is just like a death emotionally. Its the death of a relationship, give yourself time to grieve. I tried to move on really fast, but after a 2 year relationship and my first love moving on in a month was retarded.

[jjmcray]

Well, I don't want to say I'm over it already, because it's only been like a week. But I'm pretty sure I'm over that initial shock and grief.
Is it bad that I never cried? I can't even remember the last time I cried for anything.
I'm not sad about it 24/7 anymore, but everyday memories of us keep popping up in my mind, or when a song comes on the radio about a girl (which is basically every song) I get reminded of her...

[AutumnDae]

It's not bad that you didn't cry. Guys aren't as emotional. Well yes they are, but they show it different ways. Crying just isn't you, that's fine.

And you'll most likely be reminded of her for a while, and that's fine too. As long as you don't beat yourself up about the break up, don't worry.