AllThatIsLeft
January 31st, 2009, 06:46 PM
So i already posted this on my blog, but i feel like feed back!
Dont be afraid to say how much it sucks. i need constructive critizism. so dont be shy to rip it apart :P
Drip
It was dark. The obscurity was so thick it was tangible. There was no source of light, nothing that could make my eyes adapt to see a little better. All I could smell was the stench of death; it was so strong it made me gag. The cold floor was wet underneath me, and I could feel my naked body soaked in whatever that liquid was. Silence penetrated my ears loudly, it was the loudest I had ever heard silence beat, but then I heard a continuous sound, something was dripping somewhere near me. And suddenly that was all I could hear, it filled my ears, it silenced the quiet, and it was loud.
Drip, drip, drip.
I tried moving and my body ached from head to toe, I let out a painful moan and it was loud. The echo must have been tremendous because I could barely feel my voice coming out. I crawled to the noise, I didn’t know why; I should be looking for a way out, but the dripping was calling me, as if it was whispering my name, drawing me close to it. I just had to know what it was.
Drip, drip, drip.
As I got near it, it got louder and louder. Just when I was about to feel it in my hand as I reached out, my fingers touched something. It was soft and very much like human skin. It too was wet, and as I trailed down, I realized the dripping was coming from this body.
Drip, drip, drip.
The only answer I had to this question was blood. Blood. It covered me from head to toe. It ran inside me, and now bathed me with someone else’s blood.
Drip.
Who could this stranger be?
Dont be afraid to say how much it sucks. i need constructive critizism. so dont be shy to rip it apart :P
Drip
It was dark. The obscurity was so thick it was tangible. There was no source of light, nothing that could make my eyes adapt to see a little better. All I could smell was the stench of death; it was so strong it made me gag. The cold floor was wet underneath me, and I could feel my naked body soaked in whatever that liquid was. Silence penetrated my ears loudly, it was the loudest I had ever heard silence beat, but then I heard a continuous sound, something was dripping somewhere near me. And suddenly that was all I could hear, it filled my ears, it silenced the quiet, and it was loud.
Drip, drip, drip.
I tried moving and my body ached from head to toe, I let out a painful moan and it was loud. The echo must have been tremendous because I could barely feel my voice coming out. I crawled to the noise, I didn’t know why; I should be looking for a way out, but the dripping was calling me, as if it was whispering my name, drawing me close to it. I just had to know what it was.
Drip, drip, drip.
As I got near it, it got louder and louder. Just when I was about to feel it in my hand as I reached out, my fingers touched something. It was soft and very much like human skin. It too was wet, and as I trailed down, I realized the dripping was coming from this body.
Drip, drip, drip.
The only answer I had to this question was blood. Blood. It covered me from head to toe. It ran inside me, and now bathed me with someone else’s blood.
Drip.
Who could this stranger be?