omg this isnt fair

[shadostreet]

ok im not gay im straight i used to be bi but i realized i am only attracted to girls but i do have a problem. everyone mistakes me for being gay. bot that this is a bad thing but like only gay guys hit on me and you can see why:

i like dancing, cooking, and shopping

i have lots of clothes

long hair

most of my friends are girls

i dont fight

petite

not tough

giggly

A LOT OF MY FRIENDS ARE GAY BUT THATS IM NOT SO HOW DO I SEND A MESSAGE OUT THAT SAYS IM NOT A HOMOPHOBE I LOVE GAYS AND STRAIGHTS AND BIS AND EVERYONE...BUT I LIKE GIRLS.

[byee]

Well, let's see here. I cook veeery well, don't fight (but can be a bit prickly if mishandled), can carry on a reasonable convo speaking in complete sentences, enjoy the company of girls, not tough, and have a good belly laugh. And I'm not gay or bi, and no one thinks I am, either. That's b/c we're not defined by behaviors or interestes, it comes from deeper inside. Besides, your self description sounds rather nice and desirable.

Maybe it's because you don't FEEL masculine? Maybe it has something to do with why you thought you were bi?

We tend to project who we are to the rest of the world in ways we're not always aware of. Maybe those self doubts were communicated to others in very subtle ways, but ways they picked up on nonetheless?

So, if that self doubtful phase has passed, maybe you just need to give it more time, getting comfortable with who you see and experience yourself as. With time, that more decidedly masculine side will come thru more clearly, and people will respond to it. In the mean time, it might be a good idea to self monitor and watch for anything you might be saying or doing or 'acting' that might be misunderstood by others.

[shadostreet]

thanks! :D that helped a lot. friend request me

[theOperaGhost]

Moved to teen sexuality.

[zoig]

You sound very metrosexual, this is not a bad thing.
The fact that you flag on everyones garday can be quite a good think, it disarms girls and allows you to interact with them on a level much greater then if they think your just trying to hit on them.
If this turns into something sexual then you are on a winner.
If I am honest this is a facet you should embrace, when you get older it will help with adult interactions a lot more then being a good jock.

[Ziggy95]

yeas im straight now too i used to be bi and i like all the same things andalso um i also have mostly girl as friends and thats not fair at all

[ShatteredWings]

no one was one ssxuality at one point, then 'changed'. its confusion..

Actually, the fact that some of your friends are gay m ight be adding slightly too it...(perosnal experance)
I'm not sure there's much you can do about it. .. just gently push the guys who are hitting on you away.

[Justwondering]

girl;436694']no one was one ssxuality at one point, then 'changed'. its confusion..

Hehe, Thank you... I was gonna post that exact same sentence.

Anyways, back to the issue, I have that exact same problem (I like Cooking, Fashion, Shopping, Have a lot of friends that are female, etc...). Even though I am gay, I havent come out yet so when people ask or assume that I am, Im sorta uncomfortable. By now, you must think that our problems are not the same because Im gay and your straight but there are multiple solutions for both of us, and its just finding the right one that will work. Some of the things I do now are...

a) If people are calling you derogatory terms, Just ignore it. Chances are you are better than them, and they are just calling you names because they are insecure about themselves.

b) If people are just asking you, clearly just state that you are not gay and eventually word will get around.

c) If you have a close friend that is female and you started going out with her, people would assume that your straight (It worked for me :P)(And dont just pick a random girl, because in the end someone is going to get hurt, go for someone you really have feelings for. If there is noone then this option wont really work all that good)

d) Dont get mad at the guys that are hitting on you, just tell them nicely that you arent gay and you would like it if they stopped. If they dont stop, you can avoid them or get a friend to talk to them.

Sorry if it didnt help all that much, If you have any questions that you wanted answered directly or just want to chat, send me a friend invite and we can chat it out :P

[nick979]

Sexuality is very controvercial...but has scientific facts. Sexuality was determined way before you were born. Depending on how much estrogen or testosterone you were exposed to in the whom. You're born the sexuality you are...and you cannot change that. Also, you don't just decide to be gay, straight, or bi. Actually the term bi really doesn't exist. That's a hard concept...too long to discuss...anyway:

I love shopping, clothes, girls, money, etc...I'm not gay. THERE ARE REALLY NO SPECIFIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GAY PEOPLE. People always associate acting girlish to being gay...it's not true...not even close. You always see people on TV that are guys that talk like girls...or act kind of like them. In the society we've been raised in, we would immediately assume they're gay.

I personally just brush it off if that ever happened to me...

Also, what grade are you in? As you get older, you begin to realize that people are more mature and you become more mature. They begin to, eventually, judge people more internally than externally. It'll work out for you.

[nick]

I'm an arty type. Actually I'm into classical music & singing. This means everyone thinks I'm gay (well they're half right but I don't admit it). Yeah its annoying that just because you might not be sporty (I'm useless at sport), don't understand bullying and violence, may be perceived as small, this automatically means you take it up the arse (chance would be a fine thing). But if long hair causes you a problem just get a hair cut!

[nick979]

People thought I was gay when I became fluent in American Sign Language...but the went over quickly.

[Halibut]

you sound like a awesome guy. dont change yoruself . im sure girls love you