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View Full Version : Say Somthing!!!

bagman
January 28th, 2009, 12:14 AM
you know. the quiet girl who never talks. i realy wanna help her be more social. i see her throo my day on the bus... study hall... lunch... and the bus again. she says nothing. i wanna help so bad because i used be like her (its no fun). or is everyone social in high school?
Halibut
January 28th, 2009, 01:06 AM
well i am the type of person that talks alot. and if i see a person like that i feel i have to get them to talk. so what i do is i talk there head off and now with most of them i am good friends :D
byee
January 28th, 2009, 02:08 PM
You're assuming she needs help, perhaps based on yuor own experience. That's a nice thought, but generally, it's best to assess someone's needs based on what they think they need, not only on your own experience. Many a good person has gotten into a lot of social trouble by assuming incorrectly without first checking it out.

It might be nice to try to befriend her and hang out with her and offer yourself as a friend, and se what happens, but don't assume that she's unhappy the way she is or needs something. You should be ger friend b/c you like her or are interested in her, not to 'save' or 'help' her or otherwise feel sorry for her.
Camazotz
January 28th, 2009, 04:20 PM
You're assuming she needs help, perhaps based on your own experience. That's a nice thought, but generally, it's best to assess someone's needs based on what they think they need, not only on your own experience. Many a good person has gotten into a lot of social trouble by assuming incorrectly without first checking it out.

It might be nice to try to befriend her and hang out with her and offer yourself as a friend, and see what happens, but don't assume that she's unhappy the way she is or needs something. You should be her friend b/c you like her or are interested in her, not to 'save' or 'help' her or otherwise feel sorry for her.

Exactly what I was thinking. Just because she seems quiet, doesn't mean she needs help. Like me, I prefer to be alone. Don't just assume that she has socialization problems. Befriending her would be a nice thing to do, but don't do it out of pity. That's even worse.