Sex life

[myapocalypse]

Ok, so me and my gf have been going out for almost 7 months now. And we love each other alot. She has already said that she wants to get married after high school and i do to. She is 14 and i am 16. When we first started going out she said she wanted to wait until she was 16 to have sex, and i am completely fine with that. But the other day we were messing around sexually and she asked me to make love to her right there, it was hard but i said no because i thought she only asked in the heat of the moment and reminded her she wanted to wait. Then the next day we were watching TV and she brought it up and said she doesnt want to wait. We talked for a while about it and i got her to agree to wait as long as she thought possible. I want to have sex with her because i love her more then almost anything in the world, but i dont want her to regret it or feel like she betrayed herself or her family if we do. Im so confused, what should i do????

please help!

[Gumleaf]

i think you are doing the right thing. the time needs to be right for both of you and by making sure that you are both certain that you want to take that step, then putting it off is a good thing. you seem like you are a good bf to her and i'm sure she'll look back later and appreciate that waiting is a good thing to do.

[Θάνατος]

I think you are acting very mature here. I think it is very admirable that you are willing to wait for the right time to have sex with your girlfriend.

I hope your girlfriend appreciates what you are doing for her.

[Oblivion]

Well even if your relationship is at the level where you can have sex (KUDOS FOR TALKING TO HER ABOUT IT! :D) that doesn't necessarily mean you are ready.
And even more, even if she is ready at 16, it doesn't mean you are ready (at 14).
She has to respect that you aren't quite up for it emotionally (with your mixed feelings), and hopefully she'll love you all the more for it.
Remember you have to be certain on big commitments like this.

Good luck (and remember to protect yourself from STDs and pregnancy if you do do it ;))!

[byee]

Yes, good for you for giving this some thought, rather than acting on impulse.

Sex is a big step, priimarily b/c of all the emotions it creates. And, the first time means you have no frame of reference, you don't know what to expect, so it makes it more difficult to predict how you'll handle them. Ditto for your g/f. You and she need to talk more and clarify expectations.

I'd ask her first off what made her change her mind. It's very revealing to find out how people who have strongly held positions actually come to change them. Then, you might want to talk with her about what her expectations will be of you and the relationship afterwards.

You seem like a very thoughtful guy, and b/c you've got the urge controlled, you'll be in a very good positiion to assess the risk/benefit of having sex now, I'm sure her answers will reveal a lot about the wisdom of changing the relationship.

[Triceratops]

Wow good on you :)
I wish there were more boys like you.
You're being really mature about this, by reminding her about what she said. So when she asks you for sex, sit her down and specifically ask her if this is what she really wants and she won't feel like she's betraying ot letting anyone down.

You're doing the right thing here :)