"Im spoiled, unpure!"

[MrqsWfy]

according to my "mom". when i was a virgin, or PURE, she askd me would I let her know if I was having sex, said yes. basically we were having that "you can talk 2 me about anythng" talk. So she finds out today and starts with the 21 questions game. Then she told me youre spoiled now, I thought you were pure. im just sick to my stomach, ugh! and so on, and im like well look at everyone else n the family! She was overreacting . and here I was thinkng I could come to her with an open conversation. now its starting to effect me. (sigh)


Instead of double posting please just click the "edit" button if you want to add more to the previous post.

~Shiver

[Θάνατος]

according to my "mom". when i was a virgin, or PURE, she askd me would I let her know if I was having sex, said yes. basically we were having that "you can talk 2 me about anythng" talk. So she finds out today and starts with the 21 questions game. Then she told me youre spoiled now, I thought you were pure. im just sick to my stomach, ugh! and so on, and im like well look at everyone else n the family! She was overreacting . and here I was thinkng I could come to her with an open conversation. now its starting to effect me. (sigh)

Wow that totally sucks. I think that has to be one of the biggest betrayals of a person's life to have a trusted parent overreact like this. This betrayal is so bad because you trusted your mom that you could go to her for anything and she wanted to be included in your life when you had your life changing events.

I hope you are able to find some one to talk to and share you secrets with.


I would tell your mom how bad you feel about her betrayal. Let it be known how bad it is that she violated the trust you had in her that will never be the same.

By the way you are not spoiled or even impure, losing one's virginity doesn't make a persona bad or horrible person.

[The Batman]

Depression, Loss, and Grief :arrow: Family and Friends

[byee]

And she's angry with you, huh? Maybe it's time to give her a reality check here and nicely point out to her that it was her idea to keep an open and honest relationship when it came to disclosing your sex life. Then, ask her why she's reacting this way to the info she not only encouraged you to share, but actively asked you about. Then, you might calmly point out to her that regardless of her feelings about it now, as unanticipated as they might be, are truly offensive to you and that you believe she owes you an apology.

Sometimes parents make these 'deals' with their kids about wanting and encouraging them to be open about their lives, and maybe they're really serious. But a lot of time, it's based on some ideal that they don't quite buy into, this "I'll accept anything if you come to me". So, when they finally get some info that deep down they cannot accept (or probably ever accept), they react sincerely. In your mom's case, with horror and disapproval. She's guilty here of not really be honest with herself, of not being able to tolerate some of your decisions, the one's she doesn't agree with.

Lesson learned. Don't share things with your mom again. Especially those things that don't really involve her in the first place.

[doktored]

I agree with Sam completely, your mother needs to know what she say's she should stand by.

[zoig]

Then she told me youre spoiled now, I thought you were pure. im just sick to my stomach, ugh!

Being the brutely honest person that I am, that statement sound like one of her hinges is hanging off the barn door.
I don't k think I have ever met any completely rational adult on either side of the atlantic (I live in the UK but have family in the US) who would say that and it's doubly gauling to hear that from 1) someone who you trust as implicatly as your mum and 2) someone who told you outright that you can trust them to talk to.

[nick]

....she askd me would I let her know if I was having sex...

Sorry but thats just wierd & sick. No parent shoud be asking that. They might worry about it, especially with a girl, but really can't expect you to tell them everything you're up to . Its like asking which hand you use...

[AllThatIsLeft]

Sorry but thats just wierd & sick. No parent shoud be asking that. They might worry about it, especially with a girl, but really can't expect you to tell them everything you're up to . Its like asking which hand you use...

well not really. my mom told me if the time came when i had sex that she wouldn't mind buying me pills and/or condoms.

of course i dont plan on ever telling her such things. because my mother says she doesnt mind a lot of things, but is truthfully very judgemental.


OP i recommend to point to to your mother her mistake, and that the way she reacted it offended you after being encouraged to talk to her about it. and i wouldn't talk about those things with her anymore, because she obviously cant handle it.

[Halibut]

o gosh that has got ot be hard. try getitng a counciller and try talking to them. your mom did over react and you have every right to feel that way. but in no way are you spoiled. sex is not a dirty thing and in no way unpure