is ther really anything wrong with self harm

[JacobHerrington]

i dont understand whats the big deal.

If i wan to cut myself thats my choice
its my body i can desrtoy it if i want to
same goes with scuicide
why the hell should anyone care if i take my life.

[Oblivion]

Sure its your choice,
But most suicide survivors... Regret they attempted right after trying it.
So think of how many people die but would have regretted it?
Think of how many people could have had their problems fixed, but instead chose to end their life?
I for one am happy to stop anyone that may be making the wrong choice in harming or killing themselves.

[kittiegocrazy]

I think that's where I'm really unsure.... Whenever I think about it, I ask myself if there really is anything wrong with it. The truth is, I don't really know, and I don't even have an opinion on it being right or wrong either.

From the time we're born & start to walk and talk and take things in, we're basically taught that if you do something to hurt yourself, that whatever it is, is wrong.

Think, by cutting, you're hurting yourself physically. And more often than not, the cuts or burns will leave lasting marks on your skin. And a majority of the time, you're left having to hide it. If it's something that has to be hidden, then isn't it wrong? Why else would you have to hide it?

Because people will judge you? Because it's been ruled a mental disorder of some kind?

However, at the same time... I've been there. I've got my own scars from what I've done to myself as well... Am I ashamed of it? No, not really, and that's because it's a reminder of what I've been through and struggled with... It's part of my past, and part of what's made me grow into who I am today. BUT, at the same time, I feel guilty because now I have to hide my arms because of what others will think or say... because of the fact that it's not "normal" to hurt yourself.

I don't hang out with a bunch of people who cut or hurt themselves. But some of the friends I have are guilty of having pulled out their hair or bruised themselves or something else that doesn't leave a permanent mark on them... They've stopped what they did though. But that doesn't mean they'll change their view on the subject.

One of my friends, he has a similar view on hurting oneself & suicide as I do. If you're really that depressed, unhappy, or miserable that you absolutely cannot bear to live any long, then why am I going to not do something you feel will bring you to a happier place? It'd be too selfish. Yes, it will hurt more than anything for me to let you go, but to keep you in a place that you're so unhappy would be too selfish of me.

Cutting or hurting yourself doesn't always have to automatically mean you're suicidal though. The two don't always come hand in hand; though sometimes they'll become linked depending on the situation or circumstances.

I want to live. I'd hate to hurt my friends by taking myself from them. It'd be cruel. My closest friends have been there for me almost always. I just have problems I have great difficulty dealing with... I have issues that make me want to die on the spot, but I know I have someone to talk to.. and I fight to find other ways to deal with it than hurting myself...

Because I know I'm hurting my friends when I'm hurting myself.

Hopefully that made sense... And I'm sorry for the long response.

[byee]

i dont understand whats the big deal.

If i wan to cut myself thats my choice
its my body i can desrtoy it if i want to
same goes with scuicide
why the hell should anyone care if i take my life.


Well, Jacob you know, you're right: It is your body and your choice, and I suppose everyone has the right to do what they want. But the issue isn't really one of choice, it's the reasons why you'd make that choice.

Hurting yourself (or doing yourself in) are pretty extreme things to do, and the 'choice' issue misses the point that they're learned behaviors for extreme unhappiness. There are other ways of resolving those feelings that don't hurt and don't risk your existence.

People try to 'stop' those who are tormented by the feelings and urges to self destruct because their perspective on these matters is a bit clearer. Please tell me that you've got someone to help you with that.

[Triceratops]

From the way us cutters see it, no.
We know it's not "wrong" but it's not "right" either. But yet it feels so "right" ... get what I'm saying?

As much as I want to stop, I just can't help it.

[DarkWingedAngel]

yea there is a problem with it
People care and when then they find out you can get in pretty sticky situations.
Taking your life is like taking away your friends and family's soles it's not a good idea.
just my thoughts









Edit: wow I should really listen to myself

[ShatteredGlass]

Thou shall not mark/ tattoo your body

[ShatteredWings]

That's not a commandment, it's a verse somewhere in the old testament about tatooing yourself and cutting your self (from grief).


Anywayss.. to the main question. It does hurt other people
Suicide attempts hurt the people around you -- even if they dont seem like they would, most people care enough not to want you to take your life.

Also, if you survive an attempt, it makes things a hellovalot worse, like nick(shattered) said...
I do not like remembering this, so next question at hand


Cutting yourself hurts mroe than you too. It hurts anyone who eventually finds out (and trust me, they WILL find out at some point).

Don't. Don't start. Learn from people's mistakes.

[Spin]

I would say it's neither right nor wrong. It's kind of whatever.

But you're right, it is your body so you should be able to do whatever you want with it. Which might be bad to say but I can't argue with it when that's my main excuse of why I do what I do.

[kittiegocrazy]

I think one is far less likely to have negative judgment cast upon them for sporting tattoos rather than scars.


I agree with what [crazy]girl said. Suicide, suicide attempts, and cutting/harming yourself isn't something that just hurts you. It hurts the people who care about you too. It's something that is always on my mind when reach my breaking points & am suicidal or am fighting to not cut myself. Knowing it can hurt my friends and not just myself is something that has kept me going strong when it comes to my not hurting myself anymore.

[-Silence]

You're right, it's you body, but your actions do affect other people. Don't be selfish.

Your post reminded me of a song:
The Magician's Assistant
-Dan le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip

It's tragic; you tried to cut yourself in half,
But this isn't magic; in fact it's something far more dark, or more dramatic
Self harm, that’s what they call it.
'Cause it just affects you.
It's your life, your body, so you can choose what you do,
And if one day you can't rain it in,
and of your last breath you are the only witness,
Then so be it, cause it’s your last breath,
and it's nobody else’s business.
But, how about your little sister?
I mean, you think your life's been bad,
And by no means am I belittling that,
cause I know the troubles you've had
But a teen finding out her sister chose death over life,
Finding out instead of turning to her with your problems, You turned to a knife
That's a whole lot of pain to deal with,
and a whole lot of damage
And the only role model she has is little more than words engraved in granite.
But as you said before, this just affects you.
It's your life, your body, so you can choose what you do.
And if one day you can't rain it in,
and of your last breath you are the only witness,
then so be it, cause it’s your last breath,
and it's nobody else’s business.
But then, how about your parents?
God knows they've done all they can to support.
Yeah, you didn't go up in a mansion,
But they gave you the best life they could afford,
And the second that last bit of life tickles out,
and your lungs cease to breath,
They've fail the most important task that they will ever receive.
They failed to give their child a life that’s worth living,
And that's a failure as long as they live, of themselves, is unforgiving.
But as you said before, this just affects you.
It's your life, your body, so you can choose what you do.
And if one day you can't rain it in,
and of your last breath you are the only witness,
then so be it, cause it’s your last breath,
and it's nobody else’s business.
But, how about your friends?
How did they fail to see this coming?
I mean, you can only hold so much pain,
and recently it seems like the tap's been running.
Families grow distant, but it's meant to be your friends you can rely on.
They shouldn't be there for just fun and drinks.
They should be the shoulder to cry on.
They should be the ones you turn to,
when you can't talk to your family.
But they failed to because although you didn't ask for their support,
it should have been mandatory.
But as you said before, this just affects you.
It's your life, your body, so you can choose what you do.
And if one day you can't rain it in,
and of your last breath you are the only witness,
then so be it, cause it’s your last breath,
and it's nobody else’s business.
But then, what about me?
What kind of boyfriend am I?
Instead of living a life I was a big part of,
You would rather die.
Instead of fighting though together,
and turning things around,
You decided to grasp the greener
on the other side of the ground.
If I shared lives there was nothing worth living for as far as you could see.
So if that's the case for you
Then what is there left in this life for me?
But as you said before, this just affects you.
It's your life, your body, your sister, your parents, your friends, and your partner
so you can choose what you do.
And if one day you can't rain it in,
and of your last breath you are the only witness,
Then fuck everybody else cause that ain't something you’ve got to live with
the magician's assistant
to many problems to list them,
not enough people to listen.
the magician's assistant....
the magician's assistant.....

[JacobHerrington]

somtimes tho the reason i cut my self is not becuse ofg depression but , call this creepy if you must, but for the thrill and the pleasure.
for some reason i seem to get a kick out of watching myself bleed

[Bougainvillea]

Because ALL life is valuable. No matter who or what it is. No good comes out of self harm. And it hurts those around you. I don't know you, but I would be sympathetic as much as I would my best friend. That's my opinion and thought. I really hope you don't harm yourself.

[Sammeh]

"No good comes out of self harm."

I would disagree, when I feel depressed, the ONLY thing that can bring me out of it, is cutting. The pain seems to drain away, it dosen't matter if I draw blood as far as I know, only that I feel pain. Its how I found this forum, Ive just cut myself and wanted to know why it makes me feel so at peace. I understand why my friends dont want me to do it, but they dont have to live with depression, I do. And I don't want to. So, I cut.

I've been lucky enough to have a month or so away from it (the depression), but now It's back, I have no reservations about starting cutting again.

[shelb angs]

If you're 'addicted' to cutting and refuse any treatment, then by all means go ahead. If you don't think it's bad then don't let anybody stop you. Your body your choice.

[dstnyisurs]

Thou shall not mark/ tattoo your body
Seriously, we all know the bible tells us not to injure ourselves.
If this news really hit us and made us all stop, do you think we would be in the predicament we are in?

[Truth]

"No good comes out of self harm."

I would disagree, when I feel depressed, the ONLY thing that can bring me out of it, is cutting. The pain seems to drain away, it dosen't matter if I draw blood as far as I know, only that I feel pain. Its how I found this forum, Ive just cut myself and wanted to know why it makes me feel so at peace. I understand why my friends dont want me to do it, but they dont have to live with depression, I do. And I don't want to. So, I cut.

I've been lucky enough to have a month or so away from it (the depression), but now It's back, I have no reservations about starting cutting again. Your very wrong. Many things can help depression. Cutting, you say it helps, but why is it you keep getting depressed even after you do it, sammeh? Could you answer me why youd rather harm yourself for more depression then getting support and help and friends + family to feel better? There's so many things wrong with self harm you couldnt imagine, it's the second most selfish thing compared to suicide, not even greedy people could compare.

If you're 'addicted' to cutting and refuse any treatment, then by all means go ahead. If you don't think it's bad then don't let anybody stop you. Your body your choice. And you, get out of here if you cant give half decent advice.

[Bougainvillea]

Exactly. It seems your cutting doesn't really take it away. NOTHING good comes from self harm. No matter what you may think. It hurts you and the people around you. So tell someone about your problem. So you can be helped

[Project Delta]

Cutting really doesnt help depression, because usually afterwards people find that they hate what they have done to themselves, as it has marked their body and they then get more angry and possibly more depressed as a side effect of the cutting. I know that i felt a lot worse about my cuts after i had done them. Seriously, cutting is an addiction and most addictions are bad, Its your body so you can do what you want to it. THis argument is used for Drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and drug abuse, but all of these are a big problem. Sure if you dont care what you are doing to yourself then go ahead and do it, if you dont want help then sure you can do it. To be honest no one can stop you but yourself. But what is the point? Damaging your beautiful body just to get rid of emotional pain, yes this seems like a solution but it will just get worse and worse and then you could do something you will live to regret. Or not live to regret.

EDIT : Self harm hurts you and your friends, and your family. If you hate your family, and friends (which i doubt you do) then therefore you wont have this problem, but i doubtthis is the case. There is definitely someone who cares for you and therefore hate to hear when you hurt yourself, and really do want you to stop. Last night i talked to someone who has been self harming for 15 years. This has become a major problem for her, and her relationships. This has led to her depression getting worse, and therefore can you see anything good in doing this?

[MadManWithaBox]

whenever i cut myself, im always in a paticular frame of mind, and once im out of that frame of mind, i feel like an idiot for doing it, as doing it creates a lot of problems, when i attempted suicuide last year, after i felt like the biggest idiot in the world. i mean sure its the person choice, but it can hurt people close to the person mentally, as well it hurts the harmer physically and mentally.

[Truth]

whenever i cut myself, im always in a paticular frame of mind, and once im out of that frame of mind, i feel like an idiot for doing it, as doing it creates a lot of problems, when i attempted suicuide last year, after i felt like the biggest idiot in the world. i mean sure its the person choice, but it can hurt people close to the person mentally, as well it hurts the harmer physically and mentally. It could do more then hurt, some people would even commit suicide or start depression/SI because of you doing suicide, is it really worth it to put them through the pain?

[MadManWithaBox]

there you go, truth added to my statements. imagine the anguish your putting the people close to you through by doing(is being really hypocritical here)

[Project Delta]

Yeah, The stress you cause is worse because it is multiplied by people feeling guilty that they could have had a chance to save you from it, even though they couldnt

[piggy-wiggy]

i think self harm is something which is ur choice, but once u make it, its so hard to stop. for me, i started and now its someting i rely on for some kinda crutch wen im down.. so it is ur choice, i suposeif you want to call it that.. as for suicide, i wud strongly disagree on anything to do with it.. everr..xx

[Project Delta]

It is true, Self harm is a choice, which then becomes an addiction. Someone once said "Self harm is a choice, not because they have a mental illness, yes some may have a mental illness, but its a coping mechanism. If someone picks up a cigarette coz they are stressed, does it mean they have a mental illness? no"

[Sammeh]

You're assuming I haven't already tried the family and friend support route. I have and It didnt work, It also didnt get rid of it on a short term level either, so cutting is better.

I also feel I should point out that despite my efforts, my friends (and family for that matter) couldn't understand what depression is, they kept thinking its me being "sad", hence giving such advice as "think positively" or on a couple of occasions "buck up"... I appreciated that they cared (apart from when "buck up" was offered), but they couldnt understand, they still don't! If im honest I hope they never do.

Oh and I'm not addicted, I just do it sometimes when its realy bad and I'd have to put up with it for a while (the depression). I've had allot of breaks from it aswell, as it only happend when I'm depressed. Same for other things In my life, I smoke in extreme moderation, I LOVE the taste of cigs, but have 1-2 a month.

I can understand it would hurt friends feelings, but I'm sorry, its not them who would have to put up with the depression and frankly I'm sick of having to!


EDIT: And, I do appreciate you're concern :)

[Ella]

Everytime I cut I try and convince myself thats its not wrong, its not a big deal, but I've seen the pain in my parents eyes when my sister was in hospital for trying (and luckily failing) to kill herself.

So I see what your saying, and I'm a hippocrite for saying this, but it hurts other people more than you think.

xx

[MadManWithaBox]

i get the thing with people telling you to cheer up, i get that, doesn't help, is simply annoying. and although your parents proabbly dont show it, i cant imagine the guilt they must feel for thinking is it my fault that he does this? i assume anyway, i dont know your parents. if im wrong about any of my assumptions, deep apologies in advance

[JacobHerrington]

Thou shall not mark/ tattoo your body

no offence but the bible does not apply to some of us like my self who are aganostics and atheisits. if ur going to make a point use resoning besides religion.
again no offence ment