whats wrong with me?

[donniedarko]

ive gone to therapy for the last 10 years of my life (im 14) because from age 4 till 10 i was a nervious wreck, and from 10 to 14 i was extremly depressed becasue of all this school stuff i had gone through. at age 13 i stabbed myslef with a push pin and i do that sometimes, im still extremly depressed, therepy dosnt help, my perants think im a freak, my brother tries to ruin my life, and i express myself by making films about horrible things happening to people, i went to a film camp this summer, and the teacher said she was "deeply disturbed" by the movie. i hate my life, im completly not normal, i dont have any freinds, ive been beat up several times, people play horrible pranks on me all the time, and its not like i should change schools, cause ive done that three times, and everywere i go, kids hate me. im so not normal, and the sick part about this is that because ive figured out already that im not making freinds anywere, so now, i just freak kids out at my school for kicks. i used to have a girlfreing, but she dumped me for this other kid, and then she had to switch schools and i sorta lost contact wtih her, now im hearing roomers that she slit her wrist in a locker room. also, i think of horrible things all the time, i no im disturbed, and i have horrifying nightmares every night.
do i belong in a hospital?
whats wrong with me?

[byee]

Well, I know for a fact that there are a lot of very good psychologists in NYC, and maybe it's time for you to find one, esp. if you're having all these problems. Therapy at 14 is a lot different than it was at 4 or 10, so it might be more effective now than then. And, if your folks recognize what's going on for you, and they've already sent you to therapy, it sounds fairly certain they'd agree now.

It's unclear what the therapist will say or do, but whateverr that is, it's likely to help understand and address whatever it is that's going on for you and causing all these problems for you. Tell your folks you want to try therapy again.

In the mean time, it might serve you well to not intentionally say or do things to further alienate yourself from your peers. There's enough on your plate right now.