GOING OUT OF MY MIND

[scott_denny]

right now heres the deal, well about a month and a half ago me and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up, she said it was not me it was purely the fact that she didn't want a relationship at the moment and she won't have time for it because her time now will be comitted to studying for work etc etc.

Since then i have been through more emotions than i knew i had, one minute angry, one miunte sad then extremely suicidal. i have been to the doctors and have been prescribed anti-depressants and have taken some time off work sick. i really dont know what to do anymore, i have kept in contact a few times with my ex-girlfriend, one night her parents were awa for the weekend and she called to say she was lonely in the house herself so i went down to keep her company, it was late and she said why don't you stay the night so i said ok, we were in her bed just talking and we ended up kissing and having great sex, the next morning we seemed to be ok with each other and me being nieve thought there could be something there again. Obviously i was wrong, i mentioned it to her and she said nothing was going to happen. that previous night she also told me she still loved me. ARRGGHH!!!! i don't know whats happening.
Now she phones me when she is drunk etc saying she got off with this guy and that guy and it makes me extremely jealous. i don't want to lose contact with her either as i still love her so much even though my heart has been broken.

i have stopped taking the anti-depressants too because they make me feel emotionless in which i feel like im just a presence, never happy never sad, just being sedate ll the time, but now i just want to die, there has been so many times recently where i have just been standing at the edge of a bridge for hours upon end contemplating jumping in, or when im driving my car i could just crash it into a wall and be done with life, i feel worthless. i have been out with my friends more etc and they are great but i can't help feeling so bad all the time, i have lost about a stone in weight over the past month and i feel physically drained, i just hate being this way and its affecting my life, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE ITS NOT WORTH IT FOR THE WAY IM FEELING.

PLEASE HELP ME ! ! ! !

[redcar]

life is worth living. you are seeing the negative things it ahs to offer. this girl she wasnt worth it, i know you were with her for so long, but she isnt worth getting worked up about. i know that is easier said than done. u need to do something that makes you happy. no matter what it is.

focus on the good things life has to offer. forget the bad. forget this girl. thats the past. look to the future and to the happiness it can bring you.

i'm online a lot if u wanna talk just add me to your msn.

[TheWizard]

Scot at least you had a GF. Thats better than not having loved at all.

[ScotsGirl]

I agree with Alex and Josh^^

Life is definately worth living! :(
Im really sorry about everything that has happened :(
:hug:
Maybe you need some time away from this girl...?
I know you have said you still love her but I cant help but feel your holding onto the hope that if you still see her, that things can go back to how they were before, that you guys will get back together. But going by her reaction to that night you spent together and the drunk phoncalls etc, it doesnt seem like she has that intention at all...at least not at the moment.
It sounds as if she used you that night, and still could do in the future. Im not saying give up all hope of ever getting back together, just take some time out, concentrate on getting yourself sorted out. So if the time does come and you two want to try again, youll be ready to give it a fresh start.

As for your anti depressants, does your doctor know you have stopped them? Maybe you could talk to them about changing your treatment?
You need to do something sweetie :(
Suicide is never an option!
Maybe if you think you might do something when youre driving, just pull over. Stop the car and get out.
I dont know if it would help maybe if you went for a run? Just do something to get away from making a decision on impulse, allow yourself time to think.
You have your friends, your family, and you have us now!
We will always be here for you, k?
I hope things get better for you really soon! :(
:hug:

xxx

[[email protected]//]

yeah i have to agree with josh...having had a gf is better then nothing.so yeah

[babiface6090]

you just need to talk to her about your feelings.

and no woman is worth dying over unless they're ur mom or someone that close to u so don't get depressed that, that happened just try and talk to her or someone close to you

[PANZIG]

forget about the bitch, move on

[WelshLad]

forget about the bitch, move on
easier said than done for a gf of 4 years. she said she's not ready for a relationship now? and it's taken her 4 years to realize that?! Somethings a bit fishy bout that reason. plus do u know that she has made out with other guys when she rings you or is she making it up to make you jealous for some reason?