gay bf problem

[caseman91]

So me and my bf got back together after a year... we were trying to be 'personal' with each other but we hit a snag... when we tried anal it was painful... is this a serious problem and is there anything else we could do to fix it? if not is there anything else we can do?

[Requin]

Shoving anything up your anus, you will feel.
If it hurt then maybe try some lubrication next time. I'm not experienced in this field..but apparently it helps. :-)

[byee]

The problem with anal intercourse is that the anus and penis were not designed to work together. So, anytime you use things in a way that was unintended there can be problems.

The only solution here is lots of water based lube, and gentleness. However, a lot of gays engage in anal sex b/c of what I call 'The urge to merge', to experience the intimacy that occurs when 2 become one. It' s more of an emotional need, but like most emotional needs, one doesn't necessarily need to do something physical to accomplish this.

If anal sex hurts, then maybe you guys can pleasure eachother in *different* ways, and find other ways to foster the emotional connection.

[Cindex]

You have to "work up to it".....

Try, on your own or with him, using your fingers to gradually get used to it. After enough times doing this or anal it won't hurt anymore.

Lube really helps too.

[Trickster]

Anal sex wasnt never inteneded by our bodies, the vagina and penis were the initial way of penetration. Lots of lube, lubed condoms, and some anal lube is what u need. and i mean alot especially if u didnt do anal before. The 1st time will hurt like hell, wrapped in nails and coated in broken glass. SO u need alot of help and go slow.
A year is a long time, and sex isnt really gonna fix anything. It gonna bring back a spark and ur attractivness to eachother but not whats underneath. The physical way is a common way but its just skin deep. You need to just together, have fun, and talk and find what u had in common and liked together and bring that back. It will make sex and eachother more pleasureable.
If anal hurts alot, u can try just cuddling, making out long periods and even oral. Penetration isnt the only way to be close and expereince an orgasm. Many have mental orgasms u know.
Take it slow, be safe and try to have fun without hurting eachother ^^.

[Axellance]

have him take it slow and be gentle, that's really the best way to do it, it will hurt the first time but if he is gentle it will be tolerable. If you use your fingers or other smaller items first it will make it hurt less, it is also very important that you are relaxed because it will hurt worse if you are tense. Maybe start off with whatever sexual things you normally do with him to help you relax? he can also finger you to get you more relaxed and used to it. Its very important that you trust him because you are in a very vulnerable position when you are being penetrated, and it is extremely difficult to relax if you dont trust him. I recommend that you guys wait for a while before doing this though, date for a while.

[Θάνατος]

I totally agree with what Lance said here. One thing you want to make sure you do is that you use lube. It will make it more comfortable for you.

[caseman91]

so we tried again, but i was even more nervous this time trying to relax... ne tips?

[byee]

so we tried again, but i was even more nervous this time trying to relax... ne tips?

Advice? Yes, don't try again for a while..

Clearly your anxiety is getting in the way, it might really be best to resolve that, maybe by waiting and getting more comfortable with the idea of all this, before trying again

[Axellance]

You and you boyfriend should date for a while, have a good time and build trust between you before doing this. If you cant relax you obviously aren't ready and it will not be pleasurable if you are not ready and have really high anxiety levels the whole time! If he is pressuring you to do it tell him you just aren't ready and if he cares about you he will understand. Once you trust him and everything you will be more comfortable being in a position with him that has the potential to cause you a lot of pain. Also, he NEEDS to go slow and be very gentle because that will make it hurt less he should ease it in you slowly! as i said before maybe you can start with him fingering you to help your anus relax. But as i said you guys should really wait to take it to that level.

[zoig]

Dude, you really just need to relax, if you are scared that it's going to hurt, it really will bloody hurt!
Lance is talking a lot of sense here, you need to take it slow, don't rush, date, get comfortable, a lot of play, and then move onto rear entry when you are 130% happy and comfortable with eachother.
Take it slow get him to feed in under your instructions, lots of lube and if they are legal where you are some room oderisers might help.

[grimlip]

you gotta go slow, you cant just shove it up there, take it easy