Zephyr
January 22nd, 2009, 09:07 PM
I understand that I'm 18 and I need to start growing up.
But this is proving very hard since I feel like I don't have any support,
Especially with all of these head issues.
I feel like my parents don't want me and that's killing me.
(By parents, meaning mom and my step dad)
I feel like they only let me back home out of pity.
They're trying to rush recovery, and it's just fucking killing me.
Mom is constantly asking about shoveling medication down my throat.
They're always talking about getting me moved back out as soon as possible.
And just today mom was like, "I think you should go away on weekends. It's better for Tim's mental health if you arn't here."
Implying that he'd rather not see me at all since he isn't here during the week to begin with.
And every time something is wrong and I let mom know, she's always like, "What do you want me to do about it?"
She's always saying that I need to step it up on the job search...
I've been applying freaking EVERYWHERE.
Nobody is hiring.
The past is happening all over again.
My family wants nothing to do with me.
It's killing me, it really is.
They make me feel like a waste of space.
I need a miracle.
I've considered moving to my dads.
This is the only thing that my past isn't repeating itself on.
I actually feel like they want me there.
I feel better when I stay at my dad's.
But it would kill him financially since he's already struggling,
And the job market is bad, so I couldn't pay him rent.
I've been trying and trying,
But nothing is working.
I'm way in over my head,
And there's nothing I can do about it.
But this is proving very hard since I feel like I don't have any support,
Especially with all of these head issues.
I feel like my parents don't want me and that's killing me.
(By parents, meaning mom and my step dad)
I feel like they only let me back home out of pity.
They're trying to rush recovery, and it's just fucking killing me.
Mom is constantly asking about shoveling medication down my throat.
They're always talking about getting me moved back out as soon as possible.
And just today mom was like, "I think you should go away on weekends. It's better for Tim's mental health if you arn't here."
Implying that he'd rather not see me at all since he isn't here during the week to begin with.
And every time something is wrong and I let mom know, she's always like, "What do you want me to do about it?"
She's always saying that I need to step it up on the job search...
I've been applying freaking EVERYWHERE.
Nobody is hiring.
The past is happening all over again.
My family wants nothing to do with me.
It's killing me, it really is.
They make me feel like a waste of space.
I need a miracle.
I've considered moving to my dads.
This is the only thing that my past isn't repeating itself on.
I actually feel like they want me there.
I feel better when I stay at my dad's.
But it would kill him financially since he's already struggling,
And the job market is bad, so I couldn't pay him rent.
I've been trying and trying,
But nothing is working.
I'm way in over my head,
And there's nothing I can do about it.