My Girl...

[tkitty]

Last July, I met an amazing girl. She is everything I have ever wanted and we are so happy together. It doesn't even seem real. Today, we have been going out for 6 months. The only bad thing is, she seems like a flirt. As in she flirts with other guys. We first started going out during marching band, and at the games she would kinda flirt with a past boyfriend. I would get so jealous. She told me it was because she hasn't had a boyfriend in forever and is so used to being able to flirt. So I understood and dropped it. She has gotten a lot better about it though. Sometimes it just seems like when there is another guy around all her attention goes to them and she doesn't even acknowledge me being there. It makes me really jealous. It kinda gets to me because I keep thinking she will go too far and do something with them. She doesn't really flirt flirt though. It's more of a friendly flirt. Is that a bad thing? Is it something I should worry about? Some people say some girls are natural flirts and they do it out of habit and that it's nothing to worry about, but I want to get your opinions.

[xXJDXx]

if it bothrs u its oviously a problem so talk to her about it
altho it dusnt sound that bad but if u hav problems with it talk to her im sure shell understand

[byee]

Well, there's being nice and friendly, and then there's flirting. What's the diff? Intent.

Chicas can continue to be friends with, (and friendly towards) other guys, IF the intention is to just be, well, nice and social. Guys aren't off bounds as people just b/c she's got you. She can socialize with guys and be nice to them and continue a friendship, based on common interests, etc. It's a social thing. People need to socialize even when they're going out.


Flirting, though, is different, b/c the intent is to get attention. The flirting is mildly (sometimes not so mildly! )sexual, it's provocative in a way to grab that attention. That's not such a good thing, when people are in relationships, they should be getting that attention form their *other*.

If it feels like she's just being social, then maybe you need to look at your own expectations and feelings, esp. in light of going out for a fairly long 6 months. Maybe you're getting a tad too possessive, or maybe you're liking her a lot more, and find that you're becoming dependent on her. that might affect your perceptions of her intent/behavior.

If it feels like her interactions with guys is just too provocative and too personal, then you're not so much 'Jealous' as you are making an accurate observation about the inappropriateness of her flirtation. You might want to talk with her about this, and see if she can reign it in a bit.

There'a no such thing as 'a naturally flirtatious' girl. Girls in good, happy relationships continue to be friends with guys in a social way, but their needs for sexual attention are usually best met within that special relationship. If they cannot do that, it usually signals some other issue that has nothing to do with you.