It feels good

[Smoph]

Lots of people on here say how they feel relief when they cut, then they feel bad again. That the happiness that cutting brings doesn't last. It does for me though. Since nearly a week ago when i first cut for a long time i have felt great. I had to cut again to keep the happiness flowing but i do feel a lot better. I suppose its because i don't have the urge to do it any more and now i have done it again i feel as though i can do it and its not the end of the world because i can just do it next the ones i did the other week and its like I've still only done it once. I know it sounds weird but it is. For the first time in like 10 years of cutting i don't feel bad about it. I am actually starting to think maybe that is a bad thing.

[Viral Death]

I suggest not cutting because you will hurt yourself if it is like a hobby then I think that you should get a better hobby

[Cindex]

That's not just bad, that's horrible! Cutting for 10 years is a very serious issue. Not feeling bad about it is even worse.

You should try to make yourself feel bad about it. Think about all the close friends and family you have that would be devastated.

You need to stop, but now you have no initiative. Do you have a therapist or close friend you can talk to?

[Smoph]

I know its horrible. Its really scary tbh. I used to struggle to stop just because i didn't want to upset my boyfriend. After doing it again the other day i told him, i figured he'd only find out anyway. He wasn't upset. So in my head i kinda said why bother stopping. I used to just feel bad because of him. I would feel guilty. All he said to me was that he thinks one day i might do it really bad and really hurt myself, but he didn't seem like he actually thought that or that he really cared. Now i just feel like a huge weight has been lifted every time i do it. I have been so much happier since. Because he knows and doesn't care all that much i don't have to feel bad about it. I wish it didn't make me happy, i know i sound so wrong and selfish and i know SI is wrong but i love being happy for a change. I feel like its not a problem anymore, i just do it and its ok. i feel so bad saying all this and i dont want anyone saying it is my bf's fault. Its not, i can understand why he has given up on me. Over two years he's had to cope with me, if he cared anymore it would make him ill.

[xXJDXx]

i tryed cutting myself once but it hurt so i nvr did it agin

[eikookmi]

i tryed cutting myself once but it hurt so i nvr did it agin

now there's someone who's smart.

[Atonement]

That is not good for you to feel no longer that your self harm is a bad thing. Thats really bad. Because if you don't think its bad, you could VERY easily over do it, you could intensify it, and your could rely on it, which it sounds like you already do. You need someone there to help snap you out of this mindset. Whether it be a counselor, a therapist, a doctor, or your parents, you need to talk to someone that can help you and get you where you need to be to be healthy.