Being abused.

[Texasbullrider]

I was 2 when my real dad held a gun up to my head saying I was a mistake. My mom put him in jail. When I was 6 my first step dad threw me down a flight of stairs, cut me, tried to kill me. My mom stopped him when I turned 8. When I was 10 my second step dad would always come into my room and touch me wrong. He always did this everytime mom would leave, he did it till she and him got divorced. I never told her what he did to me and I'll never forget it either. Now I am 16, I am terrified of older men, I lay at night afraid to go asleep. I have nightmares of my past. It is hard to forget what happened to me. I pray like crazy that I'll forget it but it doesn't work. What should I do? My mom doesn't listen to me anymore, I have already talked to three different therapist. Am I really messed up? Is it my fault for me a cute kid? Was I a bad kid?:confused:

[byee]

Of course it's not your fault! Your were victimized by adults who should have known better.

It takes time to get over this type of trauma, esp. when it's repeated by numerous people. Find a good therapist, settle in, and begin the journey to heal.

[Requin]

***************** - Blasphemous, possibley offensive.

It's NOT your fault. It's down to what adults have done to you, horrible adults at that.

As Sam says, find a therapist, they're very good help. :D

[Patchy]

As everyone has said, its not even a slightest bit your fault,

You never ever treat kids like that, even if they misbehave slightly, you've really had a rough time so don't put the blame on yourself

[nachtspiegel]

Like my therapist made me realize recently, there is nothing that a child could do that warrants them being abused in any manner. Nothing you could have done made you deserving of any of this. You need to write a letter to your mother and tell her everything that you need to tell her, and don't give up on therapy. If you find the right therapist, help is really out there. I'm really sorry that you had to go through any of that, and I really want nothing less than for you to get the help that you need and be able to begin putting the pieces back together.

[AllThatIsLeft]

believe me it goes away, i was sexually abused multiple times by the sons of my babysitters... who were my neighbours and VERY Christian people. I don't know about the physical abuse, but i assure you with the right help it will go away.

i've only ever told (and didn't actually verbalized it,) one family member, and that was the last time i blamed myself for the wrong doings of others.
You are not guilty for anything.

Tell someone you trust that CAN help you. it will a relief when you do.

[Texasbullrider]

Thanks, at the moment I am seeing a therapist and he has been helping me alot. I told my mom and she said I'll forget it. Ha if only it was that easy. Seriously though thanks for the comments. It feels good to know that it isn't my fault.

[byee]

Glad to help! Keep working with the therapist, it works. I think it's easy to say 'you'll forget', but that's not what happens. The goal is to understand it and gain a different perspective on it (like realizing you were victimized and maybe that all men aren't untrustworthy). With understanding (and experiencing all the emotions in a safe place like therapy), comes perspective, you remember, but it doesn't interfere as much as it does now.

Hang in there, the best is yet to come!

[iceyfresh]

Of course it's not your fault! Your were victimized by adults who should have known better.

It takes time to get over this type of trauma, esp. when it's repeated by numerous people. Find a good therapist, settle in, and begin the journey to heal.

yea dude hes right thats a horrible thing and ur mom needs to listen to you! im real sorry for you man

[ECGBUnni]

The wonderful people here can continue saying it's not your fault, but until *you* realize that the only people at fault were these men that abused you, then we might as well be talking in air. I personally don't know how you can realize this, I grew up in a loving safe home. But working together with therapists, and perhaps including your mother into these sessions will help her understand your situation and therefore both of you can heal together. it seems clear to me that she truly does love you.

Healing takes time. Unfortunately there is no "miracle cure" to the mental and emotional scars of abuse. One day you will realize that all of this could not be prevented by you, that everything was not caused by you, and that the sick people who abused you are to blame. Until then, hold on, gain strength from this community. You can always PM me if you need an ear. You will overcome this, and when you do, the strength you have gathered will make you stronger than those monsters could even dream of