I care more than she does.

[jjmcray]

Before you say anything, YES, I am going to speak to my girlfriend about this.
I just wanted to get others' opinions on this before I do.

So my girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 3 months.
Sometimes, well actually, all the time, I feel like I care more about her than she cares about me. Or at least, she doesn't care about me the same way I care about her.
Sure, when we see each other, we'll hug, cuddle, talk, etc.

But I honestly, look forward to seeing her everyday. I wake up in the morning and I have a rush of excitement knowing that I would get to see her that day. So I try to get to school a little early so I can get to see her.
Sometimes I ask her to get to school a little early, but she's stuck on this idea that people will think she's a nerd or something for getting to school early, so she insists on getting to school at the very last minute, right before class starts, so therefore, I never get to see her.

As most of you probably know, we don't really get to see each other that much outside of school because she's always "busy" and "can't find the time." Yesterday I asked if she wanted to do anything that night and she said "Sorry I have plans..."
So I said something like "ok, well have fun with whatever you're doing"
So I went home, listened to music, screwed around doing random things.
Her curfew is usually 10:30, so I decided I would wait to call her around that time in case she went out somewhere instead of hanging out at her house. Or, I would just wait for her to call me. But of course, come 10:30, she never called. So I called her, and guess what, she had already fallen asleep. I accidentally woke her up, then she made me feel bad, but she woke up and we struck up a little conversation. I asked her if she had fun that night, and she said yes, and I asked what she did that night, and then this is where she started to worry me. The way she said this....
She was just like "ugh... the guys* came over and we played rockband all night"
*the guys are her old guy friends from her old school, several of which are her ex-boyfriends
The way she said "ugh..." just made it sound like "ugh... why are you asking... it's none of your business"

So I tried not to sound too startled, so I just said "Ok, well I'll let you go back to sleep" and it ended there.

Anyway, believe me, I understand in every relationship each partner deserves their own time, and they are definitely allowed to spend time with their own friends without their partner.
But don't you think there's a line you can cross? Where your partner is the last on your list of priorities? That line being the point where you feel like he or she is just setting you off to the side, just using you as someone to call your boyfriend/girlfriend? Just to have someone to cuddle with and stuff? Because I really do feel like that's what she's doing to me. Yet I still love her.

I don't know if I should break up with her or what...
I don't want to but sometimes I feel like any other normal guy would.
I really do like her, but if she doesn't like me the same way, then why should I try?
I've never dated a girl as long as I have with her, and I would really like to see this last longer...
And if I did break up with her I would probably have no one to go to prom with... (There are only 55 people in our entire junior class, more guys than girls, most girls are already taken)

What do you guys think?

[Requin]

Well as you said...the only way to find out really how she feels about you is to talk to her.
Do one of those "We need to talk" things..and hopefully she'll take notice.

Really, I can't say anything else until you've had the talk with her. Maybe it's all perfectly innocent and that's just her way of being in relationships??

But on the other hand, it could be the opposite, which I won't mention as I expect it's crossed your mind too. If she really doesn't love you or care that much..then it's up to you if you want to be with someone just for the sake of being with her.
(The prom's not that important anyway really is it?)

Whatever happens..good luck. :-)

[jjmcray]

Well... I do plan on talking with her... but I just don't want to make it seem like I want to break up with her, and thus making her break up with me (because she thinks that I don't want to be with her anymore). She is my first, real, serious girlfriend that I actually care for and will do anything for, and I'm pretty sure she felt (or feels, idk...) the same way about me...

And perhaps the prom isn't that important to everybody. But the way I think of it is, these are my last years of true, young fun. I want to make the most of it while I can. I don't want to miss out on traditional high school experiences like the prom.

[AllThatIsLeft]

hmmmmm, this is tricky. Why dont you try ignoring her. i know it sounds wierd, but as a girl i can tell you, we dont like feeling ignored by someone who was as caring and loving. We are very greedy, so if i'm right, it will then be HER looking for you.

when i mean ignore her i dont mean don't talk to her. i mean act like its not that important. She wants to hang out, tell her You're busy. Don't call her, for a few days, and see if SHE doesn't call.
Obviously talk to her normally, don't look like you're mad, just undifferent.
I would say be friendly to other girls but i think that's over doing it.

Just pay less attention to her, and she'll come around. Don't make yourself look like a granted thing to her, show her that you have feelings too, so if she doesn't appretiate you, she could lose you.

[jjmcray]

I've tried ignoring her before. It's really hard... I feel really bad, sometimes even crazy, if I don't get to at least hear her voice at least once a day... I know it sounds dumb, but it's really hard for me to ignore her.

What do you mean by "granted"?

[AllThatIsLeft]

by granted i mean she probably knows ur going to be there no matter what she does, no matter how much she ignores you. no matter how many times she blows you off.

i know its hard, but its very efffective.

[jjmcray]

Oh ok well I'll try to think of something...

[AllThatIsLeft]

let me know how it goes.

[mr.sexy_bomb]

well you sound really sweet and nice but i think she is just i dont know the oposite of you and i think she might not be the right girl for you

[jjmcray]

I know, axel, sometimes I think the same thing. But I really want this to work out. I just have this feeling deep down on the inside that I can make it work, no matter how different we are.

[Archer600]

I think she really doesnt care for u and unless u know u can make it work i would just get out. if u really think about it you'll most likely find that you dont really care as mutch as u think u do. i'm like u and although ive really thought i loved people i didnt

[Viral Death]

I have gone through the same thing. My Ex-girlfrind well she cared for lots but I assumed that she was cheating on me because after she got back from a party she would tell me that they played truth or dare and she would lie to me I would tell her that she needs to tell you the truth or it wont work out and it will go that way

[jjmcray]

I have gone through the same thing. My Ex-girlfrind well she cared for lots but I assumed that she was cheating on me because after she got back from a party she would tell me that they played truth or dare and she would lie to me I would tell her that she needs to tell you the truth or it wont work out and it will go that way

Well this isn't really a matter of her lying to me. It's more a matter of does she even give a shit? Does she even realize what she is doing (to me)?

[Viral Death]

Ok maybe you should confront her and ask her if she really does care and tell her that you want the truth

[BuryYourFlame]

There is another thing you could do, but you will need to be prepared no matter what happens if you try this:

just try saying (whenever you feel to be the right moment) "I love you" and watch her, unless she is like a pro poker player then you should be able to see pretty clearly what her emotions are to what you have said. The down side to this way though is that if you do try this method it can lead only lead to 3 possible outcomes,1. She says/implies that she loves you as well, 2. You have no idea what she is thinking and/or she pays no attention to what you said, or 3. She starts the "we need to talk" talk, meaning she doesn't feel the same way. This is why i am giving so many warnings about this method, if it does turn out to be the third, then you are going to take a serious hit emotinally, b/c you have just opened youself up, you are at your most venerable. That is why i only suggest this method when all else fails. B/c this is the method that can get you hurt the most.

Hope it all goes well,

Dec

[jjmcray]

Well, I'll try it out, see what happens.

[BuryYourFlame]

hey,
which method are you goin to try...plz post what happens,

Dec

[jjmcray]

I will try both.