Just want some answers.....SH Trig

[Smoph]

SH Triggering

For almost as long as i can remember or at least since i was about 10 i have felt as though there is something wrong with me. Since then i have struggled with self harm, stopping and starting, mainly starting:P. Despite this i have mainly been able to communicate and socialise like any other person up until the past year or so. I have gradually been becoming more reclusive and anti-social. I used to have a few friends and could even cope with confrontation, now i have very few friends and the ones i do have i like to avoid actually spending that much time with them. I cant stand confrontation, i cant look people in the eye. My self harming isn't as bad as it has been in the past, mainly because i feel too guilty towards my boyfriend if i do do it. I think about it more then ever though. I haven't ever been to the doctors about how i feel or what i do to myself, i just can't bring myself to do it. I would really like to know why i feel like i do? Why i do what i do? how i can stop? How i can feel normal maybe even happy? Everyone else who self harms seems to have reason, same with people with depression. I haven't got anything to cry about, a lot of people would be happy to have my life, yet i still FEEL depressed. I still feel the need to punish myself. I don't understand it. Can anyone shed any light for me?

P.S I don't know if i posted this in the correct area, sorry if i didn't.

[Hyper]

How can you stop? Well first off you need to want to stop..

And once you really want to stop you'll bring yourself to seek professional help.. Its one thing us giving you advice through a few posts but long term theraphy is completly different

Theraphy is exactly what might help you figure out why do you feel this way, it could be clinical, there could be some reason your acknowledgin

Theres alot of possibilities but as I said you should seek help from the right places.

Talk to your parents at first if you can. And see if they can help you and encourage you

The point is none of those questions can be answered by us.. They can only be answered by you and only you can make yourself stop its just that you need good help to do it.

Maybe you punish yourself because you think its wrong for you to be sad? Idk I don't know how your life is or how YOU exactly feel only you know that and only you can figure that out.

Like I said you need to get yourself to a professional.

But well why don't you feel like socializing with your friends anymore? I'd suggest you don't loose the few friends you have.. It already sucks being sad and depressed but it sucks even more if you have no friends to talk to

[jacknife]

Everyone else who self harms seems to have reason, same with people with depression. I haven't got anything to cry about, a lot of people would be happy to have my life, yet i still FEEL depressed.
Most likely due to the emptiness that is apart of you. Is there something you want but don't have? Can't have? Do you ever feel unwanted? Unloved? Empty? Lonely?

You don't need to deny the existence, or validity, of your reasons for self-harming. Even if you don't know the answer, there is still a reason why you hurt yourself. Off-hand, I'd say you feel empty because all humans naturally are empty.

Nothing extraordinarily exciting has happened in your life, right? Nothing that wouldn't be considered "normal", yes? Yet you still cut. Well there are feelings that accompany this kind of boredom in life. You could feel empty because you don't have any real reason to be sad; thus you want nothing more than to feel real pain and to bleed real blood, that way you have a "legitimate reason" to be depressed.


You claim you have no "real reason" to be sad. Well, that's not true. Again, emptiness is a very "real reason" to be depressed and such emptiness can be expressed through self-harm. Some people live relatively "normal lives" but still feel unhappy. As you said, others here may be happy if they were in your shoes, living your life, but that doesn't really matter. All that matters is that you still feel sad, even though you claim you have no "real reason" to feel sad.

Well, the "real reason" is emptiness. Humans never are completely fulfilled, or completely satisfied. Even those who live "successful" lives still feel this emptiness, sometimes even more so than those who live "unsuccessful" lives. You are obviously just in touch enough with your emotions to recognize this emptiness.

If you gave more details I would be able to further help you understand your situation. But, off-hand, from the very general information you've given, I would just say that you feel like your life is still missing something.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

there is this certain type of therapy that helps with triggering.
its called cognitive behavioral therapy.
Basically they talk to you and figure out what triggers you to cut, and then you work out a set of ways to recognize these triggers and come up with a set of coping skills, you might want to look into that.

[byee]

Only you know what's causing your distress, but I;d ask 2 q's here: Any family history of depression, or were you abused in some way, sexually maybe?

Feeling bad since the age of ten, feeling that there's 'something terribly wrong' at ten is uncommon. Childhood is typically a pretty OK time for most kids, even if there's some *stuff* going on, most younger kids are pretty resilient, they get through it fairly OK. When they don't (as in your case), there's often a reason that can be identified as either 'external/environemntal', like abuse, or 'internal/biological' like depression or some other mental illness (which tends to run in families).

But regardless of it's source, you've clearly been very unhappy for a long time, and your issues should be addressed by a professional. Fortunately, whatever the cause, there's competent treatment available, which would on all likelihood alleviate your suffering.

Use your unhappiness as motivation to tell someone about your feelings, and let them help you get to a doctor. Make a plan to tell, decide who that is, and what you'll say. The sooner you do this, the sooner you will get the help you need to feel better.