the guilt, a friendship that hurts

[just-me]

my friend knows about my cutting, shes been through it herself and wanted me to tell her when i felt like i was going to do it.
but tonight everythin was just too much, i thought about texting her but i couldnt, not only did i want to show my weakness but.. i didnt want to be stopped.
i dont know, i feel so guilty for not texting her but i just didnt want to be stopped.
my friend wants to help me so badly but i just wont let her in considering my s/h.
i just feel so bad ...

[ShatteredGlass]

I know it feels that way, but the fact is you cannot stop until you're ready (4 most ppl). She can't force you to stop, and the fact is even if you had texted her you probably would have done it in due time ne way. Don't feel bad, becuz dwelling on the past and what you can't change isnt going to help you ne it's only going to feel you with doubt, guilt and lower ur self-esteem. Let it go, try weighing the pros and cons of cutting and write it down, and every time you feel that overwhelming urge to cut look at that list, and look at how the cons greatly out weigh the pros, and concentrate on that. (and if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me ne time)

[eikookmi]

Same. I have a friend who's been through cutting and she always tells me to call her but i don't. Mostly because i don't want her to stop me. You can't stop until you are ready to stop.
But try venting through other ways.
Here is a list of different things u can do instead. :]
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/announcement.php?f=16&a=52

[Atonement]

I know it feels that way, but the fact is you cannot stop until you're ready (4 most ppl). She can't force you to stop, and the fact is even if you had texted her you probably would have done it in due time ne way. Don't feel bad, becuz dwelling on the past and what you can't change isnt going to help you ne it's only going to feel you with doubt, guilt and lower ur self-esteem. Let it go, try weighing the pros and cons of cutting and write it down, and every time you feel that overwhelming urge to cut look at that list, and look at how the cons greatly out weigh the pros, and concentrate on that. (and if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me ne time)

She's dead on right here.

Just like she said, you have to be ready unless you won't stop. They can help you, only if you want the help. If you don't want to change, lets be frank, you aren't going to change. If she wants to help you, take the help, even if you don't want to purely because you know it would be good for you simply by posting here I know you know it would be best to stop.

Be safe and you can PM myself, any of the moderators of the Ward, or really, anyone that offers to talk. They care, so let them in and help. :daisy: