My First Therapy Appointment...

[chelsay13]

My first one is next friday.
I have to go, because my teacher, once again, found out.
and i'm really scared.
i don't knwo what to expect.
my parents are VERY mad at me.
my mom is in the room at the beginning, and i'm scared of what they'll ask me in front of her.
and in general, i'm scared of talking to someone. I don't even know who the person is, or anything about them.

i'm just absolutely scared of what's going to happen. and if i'll be able to get over cutting myself.

can someone tell me what to expect?

[Oblivion]

I cant tell you what to expect, but I do know the whole point of therapy is to get private time with a licensed professional. If your mom makes you nervous, ask her to leave. Otherwise, if she doesn't, honestly I wouldn't talk if I were you. I mean I cant really tell how awkward it is between you two on the subject, but its bound to be hard with her sitting there.

[chelsay13]

VERY awkward. she GROUNDED ME.
She doesn't understand, and I don't want to talk about it with her there.
But i don't have a say in it.

[byee]

Remember that therapy is NOT a punishment, and the therapist is not there to punish/hurt/offend/insult/agree with your mom/or otherwise be like other adults in authority. S/he is there to help you, remember that's the purpose of the visit. Therapists are non judgemental, they're there not so much to pass an opinion, but to help find strategies and solutions to life's problems and the many emotions they cause.

So, eventhough your mom might be mad, the point isn't to gang up on you, it's to try to understand what's happening, and most importantly, to find solutions for it. Even if there's some intense emotion being expressed, the point is to get beyond all that and find ways of helping you. Everyone is there to do that, help you, and address your concerns, regardless of the emotion.

You should expect your therapist to listen, and try to get a sense of what's been going on. Then, there should be this sense that S/he is a 'cooler head' trying to use that understanding to help both of you move from raw emotion to solution, even if it's just reframing your behavior in a way that allows your mom to be worried instead of angry. I'd encourage you to be direct and honest with your therapist, and answer things as best you can. And, remembering that S/he's your ally, let him know what you need not only from him, but from your mom, too. It's really your time, you can take charge of it and use it to communicate (or at least start to communicate) some of the many things that are are on your mind.

Good luck, and don't worry. It will be much better than you ever imagined it could be.

[DarkWingedAngel]

well you don't have to have her there
you tell them that it's awkward
your at that age where if you want it private then they have to

[Oblivion]

VERY awkward. she GROUNDED ME.
She doesn't understand, and I don't want to talk about it with her there.
But i don't have a say in it.

Im pretty sure the therapist would side with you. They are used to kids not wanting to talk in front of parents, and they understand why. If you show discomfort, she may ask her to leave.

Also, as Sam said, remember- its not a punishment. Its to help you, and honestly it will. Telling someone about your problems is a huge relief.

[byee]

Well, the therapist is going to side with 'reality'. Sometimes, it might seem that he's 'taking sides', but really, he's not. You're all on the same side (it will be his task to point that out), and that side is reality, as in basics, like: Cutting isn't a good thing, fighting isn't a good thing, being angry with your kid isn't a good thing, etc. Again, the goal isn't to 'win over' the therapist, it's to work with him to see things in a fundamentally different way. Changed perspectives lead to changed behaviors. The start is finding common ground. It's his responsibility to find that ground, and help you (and mom) see it that way.

You're there b/c everyone recognizes you're in real trouble within yourself.

[chelsay13]

ok, thanks!
See, it's going to be a challenge because i just can't explain the real reason i cut myself. i can't explain any of it. that's why my parents are mad. because i can't explain, so they just think its for attention.

[byee]

There are many challenges to be overcome here! But, remember that the therapist is on your side, if you go into this with that in mind, it will be easier for you to say what you feel. It is perfectly reasonable that you cannot talk about the 'reasons' just yet, and yet it is also perfectly reasonable (even if it's expressed unreasonably!) that your folks cannot understand this if you cannot tell them why you're doing it!

The point of the first session is to provide both hope and stability, to make a crisis situation seem much more manageable. To do that, the therapist might reframe what you're both saying, and perhaps arrive at the point where you're both in agreement: You're both very upset and very frightened about this behavior, and that you all want to do something about it to correct it, you want it to stop and are willing to work towards that, together. Just say what's on your mind, and let the therapist do his job.

It'll be fine.

[ShatteredGlass]

ok, thanks!
See, it's going to be a challenge because i just can't explain the real reason i cut myself. i can't explain any of it. that's why my parents are mad. because i can't explain, so they just think its for attention.

Don't worry Chelsay, Therapy is a lot easier than you would think, even tho it sounds scary. Your first session will actually be one of your easier ones, the therapist will ask you a lot a questions and try and get to know you. Just relax I promise you, it'll be easier than you think.

[chelsay13]

ok, thanks :)
and lol, my name is Chelsea. I was an idiot an put Chelsay in my username XD

[Sapphire]

Your first session is mainly an information gathering session. They'll ask a lot of questions so that they can begin to identify the areas in which you need the most help. The reason for having your mum present for part of the session is to get a clearer image of the problems you are experiencing. If there's a question that you don't feel comfortable answering in front of your mum, you can always tell them once your mum is out of the room. The key thing to remember is that you won't gain anything by not being honest with the therapist.

ok, thanks!
See, it's going to be a challenge because i just can't explain the real reason i cut myself. i can't explain any of it. that's why my parents are mad. because i can't explain, so they just think its for attention.
It is very difficult for parents to support their child when they don't understand what is going on. They want to help but don't know how to which leads to them getting frustrated. It isn't that they are angry with you, they are just frustrated and scared.

Be kind to yourself