It just hit me

[Burnthecity]

Well, i dono, im starting to realize that, mabye im really not as happy as i think i am
i think im hiding my emotions, im fooling myself by telling myself im happy
when deep down im not
and im starting to realize that
and it hurts
it hurts to know that i have to lie to myself just to be happy
i just dont know what to do with myself anymore
im just,
rggg, i dont even know
i dont want to live this way
i want to actually be happy in my life for once
i want to stop hiding everything deep inside

[byee]

Ahhh, you've got a case of adolescence! self doubt seems to be a major symptom of this dreaded affliction.

What is it that you're 'hiding deep down'? One of the good things about Vt is that it provides the opportunity to express those deep down thoughts and feelings and get some perspective on them from helpful others who have either gone thru it, or bake really good brownies.

[Burnthecity]

Ive been hiding the fact that i hate my life, that im not happy, that im sick of not fitting in anywhere i go, im sick of not having friends i can call up when im sad to talk to or even hang out. im just sick of life.

[byee]

Oh, Lou! We need to fix this. Why do you feel all this, what can we do to help?

[Burnthecity]

i dono, im just having a bad day

[byee]

*Gives Lou a warm brownie and a smile*

Good thing about bad days is that they pass.

[Burnthecity]

Bad days pass, but bad lives stay for awhile

[Oblivion]

The only way to fix your life, just like fixing a day, is to try and change what you don't like.
If you tell us what you don't like, we can help you change it, by telling you ways to do it.
But if you stay silent we can't help you :)

[Θάνατος]

It is all good of you (Sam) to just say change your day but if you took the time to ask Lou what is really bothering him I think you would have different advice to give him or you would at least be nicer to him.

Lou as stated in an earlier thread tonight is suffering from Crohn's Disease. It is a very painful disease and he is dealing with a lot of pain with out the use of pain killers because the doctor will not give him pain meds until he is 18.

So since he is dealing will all of this pain is it hard to change his daily life in order to change his total life.

Show some compassion for a guy who is having a hard time right with all the shit normal teenagers go through with puberty an then having to deal with a painful medical problem.

I am glad that I got to know you tonight Lou and I hope that if there is anything that I can do to help you i will try my best to help you. I will be here if you just want to talk to. Take care and they are some compassionate people on here who will try to help you too and not treat you like you have been treated tonight.

[byee]

Bad days pass, but bad lives stay for awhile


How was the brownie, Lou? LOL!

You and are are pretty good friends, so I know a lot about you. You ARE going thru a lot right now, and I think it's frankly more than most people, so I think your concerns are really justified. I think there are two things that will help. The first is getting all the support and TLC (and warm brownies!) you can, even here online. The antidite to stress, esp. the stress you have that is beyond your control to change, is TLC. TLC feels good no matter what the source (as long as it's not harmful, and I can assure you my brownies aren't!). It helps balance the stress, it gives you a bit of warmth to counteract the cold.

The other is to learn how to tolerate the things you cannot change, get accustomed to them better. I think a lot of people stress about *whatever*, and then compund that stress by trying in vain to change it. Some thing's cannot be changed, the task is to recognize that and at least not bang your head against the wall.

The good thing here, Luciano, is that a lot of what cannot be changed now is also not permanent. eventually, you grow up, move away, and have much more control ove the people and influences they have over you. When we cannot change today, it's often best to plan (and dream) for that tomorrow.

I'll speak to you in chat later.

[Burnthecity]

i woke up today heping that i would have a clear head and not feel so shitty, well i was wrong, i feel as if not more worse than yesterday, im sick of it.

[byee]

So you're saying the brownie didn't work?! Hmmm......this must be more serious than I though!

Listen, Lou, when there's this background of stress there, it's like always there. Sometimes, you're going to be more aware of it than others, and those will be the 'bad days'. B/C there's so much there that you cannot control, you have to expect them.

Have a plan to be extra nice when this happens, treat yourself extra nice, at least you should be takinging care of yourself at those times.

This will pass, the stuff you struggle with that is beyond your control will soon be over. Just stay focused on tomorrow, when you'll be finally in charge. And make the plans to get you there (as in studying hard and gettigood grades so you can get out).

[Oblivion]

Honestly before we can help you, you gotta tell us all of whats going on.
Is it Crohn's disease thats bringing you down?

Thats a lot to deal with, especially without prescription pain meds. I hard to help yourself, when your sick and in pain. So try to ride through it, taking little steps to get the pain away, and make your life improve.
Right now I think little steps are the best way to go- like what Sam was saying in your other thread, to make dietary changes.

[chelsay13]

it wasn't until recently that i figured out how much i dislike myself. I've always acted happy and hyper...that's how everyone thinks of me. but inside, i'm not all that happy...and the hyperness was just a cover...

[theOperaGhost]

I've had this feeling...a lot...all through high school (minus the fact you have Crohn's Disease). I never had any friends to talk to or anything...I didn't even have internet to talk to people online. It's tough to keep your head up through times like these, but they do pass. If you ever need someone to talk to, just add me on skype or PM me or something...I'm available quite a lot and like to talk to people. Hope you feel better soon!