I still have a problem.

[ShatteredWings]

i can't live like this.

It's ALL about controling something
i don't even care about my size anymore

its like, if i don't, i feel like i have that slight control over what i'm doing, and how im living...

i don't know if i can get out of this one myself.

[Burnthecity]

You need to get help, talk to someone, your right, you cant get out of this yourself, let others help you

[ShatteredWings]

i know

but..
i know its just a fucking excuse
but i'm scared

[BeautifulSilence]

:hug2: I'm here for you, hun.

Wanna talk about it? [In this thread or would you rather stick to PM / MSN? Just note that I'm not around for long tonight]

:hug:

[Burnthecity]

Its hard, i know, be strong, try and get some help, do it in small steps, noone is asking for you to do everything at once

[ShatteredWings]

how else would you go about it?...

[Burnthecity]

Talk to someone, go to your guidance counsler, and talk to them about getting you better, tell them you want to take it slowly

[Origami]

Agreed, guidance counselors are great, as are instructors.
Personally I prefer my friends,
Such as the few people I can genuinally trust.
And parents are there, they do care about you.
And if all else fails, therapist perhaps? They work wonders.

[byee]

Listen, don't use the fear to avoid getting help, use it to justify getting it! Fear is there for a reason, it alerts us to danger. A Therapist isn't dangerous. Not eating is. You've misinterpreted the 'fear' signal.

Go.

[ShatteredWings]

She didn't have time to talk to me [school counceler]

Just as well. I went in with the excuse of my courses next semester [which is true, but not my only motive], and she didn't have time.

[AllThatIsLeft]

Sometimes counsellours are harder to approach because they are really busy.
Try a teacher, usually religion teachers are very understanding. Find someone you trust and feel comfortable with. If they cant help you they will guide you to someone who can.
Start small, tell your friends to help you if u need support.

[Oblivion]

Gwyn you gotta get help.
Therapists and counselors aren't scary- death is.
Talk to someone. End your own pain, and accept some help.

[ShatteredWings]

tacy: public schools in the US don't have RE, and i'd probably hate that class [and the teacher] anyway

nick: I know.
I do want help.
Just couldn't get it today...

[Oblivion]

Ok, well tomorrow first thing talk to your counselor about scheduling an appointment, or having the appointment then and there.
Dont tell her its about your schedule- that makes it seem unimportant [which I bet you were aiming for] but it is important.

[AllThatIsLeft]

Didnt mean to offend you.
I hate the class to. Not religious.
i agree with colvat tho. Its better if u let them know it isnt jusst another schedule meeting.

[Atonement]

Or instead of a guidance counselor, I know nurses have a lot of the same resources and if they don't, they can point you in the right direction. ANY teacher will get you where you need to be. But talk to one you trust and are comfortable with.

Best of luck. PM me if you need anything. :daisy:

[ShatteredWings]

Ok, well tomorrow first thing talk to your counselor about scheduling an appointment, or having the appointment then and there.
Dont tell her its about your schedule- that makes it seem unimportant [which I bet you were aiming for] but it is important.
'tis saturday.
Didnt mean to offend you.
I hate the class to. Not religious.
i agree with colvat tho. Its better if u let them know it isnt jusst another schedule meeting.
I'm not offended at all actually... Dunno why you thought that. it's not like my profile states a country


[am thinking aloud, may or may not be logical]
i'm begining to think all this is with how much stress i'm in.. with everything.
'cause it's not nearly so bad when i'm closer to normal. everything goes back to normal
like, i can't bring myself to even say anything closely related to this.. but i can talk about what else is bothering me
don't ask why i can't verb lize it... i cant even say it to myself....

[ShatteredWings]

Double post.. i don't care...


Despite everything... i still didn't bring a real lunch, unless you count cottage cheese and pickles [.. don't ask...], which i don't.
and nearly passed out in PE.
wasn't able to talk to anyone.
the nurse asked what was going on if i was stressed, but i couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth.


I know I KNOW i'm stupid
and i need to stop...

[Origami]

;422348']Double post.. i don't care...


Despite everything... i still didn't bring a real lunch, unless you count cottage cheese and pickles [.. don't ask...], which i don't.
and nearly passed out in PE.
wasn't able to talk to anyone.
the nurse asked what was going on if i was stressed, but i couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth.


I know I KNOW i'm stupid
and i need to stop...

Not sure if you still read this considering the last post was 2 months ago, but not all things are easy to tell someone.
Alot of times it might take weeks, months, or years even before you can be fully open to tell someone about your problems.

But you're not stupid, you might feel insecure about talking to someone, you might not be ready, or they might not be the right person.
Truth is, nothing is easy, and it never really will be, but that's why you have friends and family, they're there to help you through the hard times and, to say, lift you back up when you've fallen.

[ShatteredWings]

Three, almost on the nose. but it's fine.

Unfortunatly, i have YET to tell anyone.
letcha down.. sorry.

its getting worse though. i just need to get under enough control that i don't feel the urge to go run for an hour.



[or altenratlvy give in]

[Beautiful Obsession]

talk to someone you trust about this.
whether its a friend or maybe a school councler?
You aint let anyone down either.
when your ready to speak up do it.
dont feel pressured to do it. I now what thats like
and it makes it worse.

Tell us how it goes:) x

[ShatteredWings]

i feel almost like it's a good thing

im so fucking torn.
my mind is SCREAMING continue
but a tiny little part is saying stop.


i can't fight what's taking over.
i just want to let it just finish what it started. What i started