Unusual Complement

[Ben Darko]

I just came to the States, CA, and I'm on the swim team. Yesterday, as I was left last in the changing room, I changed with my coach (usually we change first and afterwards the coaches) and as I pulled my bathing suit down my coach looked at my penis and said" well endowed Benjy, well endowed". It kinda freaked me out and I left without taking a shower (cause that would mean I'd have to be with him in the shower room). Back in England my coach would never ask something like that. Is that a normal thing here, or should I keep my distance? (nothing against homosexuality at all, but he is like 20 and really muscular, I dont want a guy like that to get the wrong idea, its a bit scary). Please answer with honesty.

[Θάνατος]

He could have been just being honest if you are really endowed.

A lot of people are curious and will look at other guys while changing.

If you are uncomfortable, then tell the coach you think it was inappropriate for him to comment on your penis size.

The coach could be gay or bi and by him commenting on your size he could be testing the waters here to see your reaction here. If this is the case, you should tell the coach you are not interested and if he bother you again you will report it to the proper authorities.

My advice to you is avoid being in a compromising position here with the coach. This is not normal here in the Unites States for coaches to be checking you out and commenting to you.

[Trickster]

Well guys look you know just alot are insecure to say so. He might be gay or bi and just throwing a lure to see if he gets a bite. But he may be straight and secure with his sexuality enough to say things like that with out repent.
If it happens again i would say you should talk to him and say that ur not comfortable.

[byee]

I agree with you, Ben. Your coach's comment was both inappropriate and unnecessary. He's an adult, a person in authority, and his role is NOT to comment on penis size, regardless of how accurate, flattering, or friendly the comment was. And, it most certainly isn't a USA cultural thing. if one of my coaches said that to me, I'd look him right in the eye and with great exaggeration say, 'Excuuuuuuse me?!'.

Change privately, make sure you do not expose yourself to him again. You're there to swim and take direction from him as a team member only.

[Requin]

To be honest sam....that doesn't suprise me. :-) lol

Anywho...yes, that is definatly not right. If he does it again, make sure you either reply sarcastically like Sam, or snap at him. But don't get too angry or violent, just ask him to stop saying it and looking at you.
Really, he shouldn't be changing with you anyway, so make sure your not with him.
And if it seems as if he's trying to see you.....well lets not think about that.

Just keep away from him while changing.

[Kyle787]

it's normal

[coolkid119]

i think that you should find out what he meant by what he said, and if he was just commenting on your penis, then you should have nothing to worry about. if he was looking cuz he wanted to see what he could get out of you, then you should tell him that you were uncomfortable with it.
hope this helps! good luck!

[Oblivion]

I agree with you, Ben. Your coach's comment was both inappropriate and unnecessary. He's an adult, a person in authority, and his role is NOT to comment on penis size, regardless of how accurate, flattering, or friendly the comment was. And, it most certainly isn't a USA cultural thing. if one of my coaches said that to me, I'd look him right in the eye and with great exaggeration say, 'Excuuuuuuse me?!'.

Change privately, make sure you do not expose yourself to him again. You're there to swim and take direction from him as a team member only.

Spot on.
Hes an adult, and your coach no less. That is totally inappropriate.
And, like Sam said, i hope this doesn't set a 'theme' for America- hopefully you won't encounter it again, because it truly doesn't represent us.

I would change privately from now on, and treat him just as a coach. Nothing more.

He could have been just being honest if you are really endowed.

A lot of people are curious and will look at other guys while changing.

If you are uncomfortable, then tell the coach you think it was inappropriate for him to comment on your penis size.

The coach could be gay or bi and by him commenting on your size he could be testing the waters here to see your reaction here. If this is the case, you should tell the coach you are not interested and if he bother you again you will report it to the proper authorities.

My advice to you is avoid being in a compromising position here with the coach. This is not normal here in the Unites States for coaches to be checking you out and commenting to you.

Also, Hands has a good point, even if he were 'testing the waters', it is completely wrong to do with a student.

But about being curious, even that is unacceptable. A coach shouldn't be looking at their kids penises, much less commenting on them.

[HooFrooDat]

yea that kinda woulda freaked me out... lol

[staying_alive]

Part of me would've been freaked out...but just laugh it off. He's just a guy and i'm guessing he was just trying to be cool. Or he just doesn't think before he speaks. I'd say just move pass it and try not to categorize americans like that because we don't all speak without thinking and/or sound creepy while doing it. (even though we have some of the worlds creepiest creepers haha)

EDIT: and at least he said it like a guy would. He didn't say "holy shit you've got a big dick". I'm sticking with my "move past it" stance.