whats my problem!?! fully gay?

[michael123]

i just turned 16 yesterday and this was the worst bday ever!!! >=[....my friend that is a girl came to my House (i was alone) so she insisted for us to have sex i was very nervous because how im secretly bisexual (& now think i like boys more something i hate!) and im a virgin ...but the problem is that it didnt get hard! & i know i could get it hard because im tired of doiing it with porn and all the time when im alOne but the point is that this was extremelly embarrasing. i have a couple questions & please dont be scared of telling me something i dont wonna hear because i just hate being confused i also will like people that had same problems and now are old like on their 20's

1) can i use pills or something?
2) im i just fully gay?
3) is this normal? whats happening?

[INFERNO]

OK... I'm confused a bit on this. You claim to be bisexual yet you hate the fact that you like males more? Putting that aside, why do you think you're bisexual. Many people think or say they are because they get turned on from both sexes, they're had sex/made out with both sexes or they're dreamt of it. None of those make you bisexual, you need the emotional and physical attraction.

1) For the pills, I think they're meant for people 18+, which means getting them would require you to have someone else get them for you. As for the effects on you, I'm not sure. I don't even know if they're tested in on people under 18.
2) Doubtful.
3) If you watch lots of porn, it's said you get turned on by the porn and no longer the girlfriend/boyfriend. Perhaps this is happening with you, or you were very nervous and that also resulted in junior not coming up to play.

So, my question to you: Why do you think you're bisexual? Don't give me the stuff of you've kissed both sexes or held hands or saw them naked or those types of silly answers.

[Zan0ra]

Right.. so this girl came to your door and said lets ave sex and that didn't turn you on? And you think your gay from that? well first I want to know how you came to the conclusion that your bi but as for this. Nothing has changed what so ever even if you didn't get turned on. To be bisexual you have to feel physically (on the outside) and emotionally (on the inside) about a person of the same sex and opposite. I dont think you feel that. But that's not for me to answer now. to be gay you have to be physically and emotional attracted to the same sex. I dont recommend pills, why would you want them anyway???. 2: impossible, no one can ever be fully attracted to there own gender 3: your mind was probably on something out the time when she popped up the question so you didn't receive it right. Either that or you just were not interested. But there are also more emotions like nerves, love even. And to finish off do you have any of the above in your heart, mind, body?

[Oblivion]

1) can i use pills or something? I doubt there was an actual problem with your penis getting erect- just mental problems with it!!
2) im i just fully gay? NO! Just because you didnt get an erection for a girl doesnt mean you are gay! Or even Bi!
3) is this normal? whats happening? Its normal to not get one! It just means your nervous, and probably not ready for sex yet. You weren't aroused because you were thinking about how it was kind of sudden, and random, and you were probably thinking of the consequences. Half of sex is in your mind IMO.

Of course if you are really worried, see a doctor. If later you cant get an erection while masturbating, I would also advise seeing a doctor.

[byee]

Well, first off, Happy Birthday!

Second, although your friend undoubtly thought presenting herself to you for sex was a very romantic birthday present, it doesn't really work that way. Sex is a big step, esp. your first time, and esp. when you're just 16. It was (maybe) sweet that she offered, she obviously likes you a lot, but frankly a little naive. Guys aren't always ready and willing to have sex, at least those with emotional sensitivity and awareness. We need to be ready for it emotionally, there needs to be some prep and some discussion, too. In the absence of that, not being able to perform is to be expected. real life sex (and real life guys) aren't like porn movies.

So, in the absence of an emotional process, your penis didn't respond, proving once again that the most exquisitely sensitive part of the male anatomy is still the brain. All your lack of ability here suggests is that unlike primates and canines that can readily fornicate whenever an available female is presented, you're a more highly evolved human. And, probably a pretty nice guy for thinking with your heart, too. It speaks nothing to your sexuality, either.

So, the solution here is maybe to talk with your g/f about all this, and continue the relationship without the sex part and let it evolve on it's own. When you're ready, you'll both know. No pills, creams, pumps, self doubt, or psychotherapy required.

[michael123]

ok...i think im bisexual because i have watched gay porn and it gets me hard...also i think some guys in my school are cute but i hate those facts about beeing bisexual i will just like to be 100% straight and have a normal life with a wife even though part of me likes girls because when i see a hot girl i say the same thing like i like her and shes sexy & i be looking at them from head to toe (same with guys)

[chris__batman]

you can look at someone head to toe, but do the girls get you hard like a naked guy does? Honestly?

[byee]

*sigh* I just hate shouting into the darkness.

Listen, I doubt you're bisexual at 16. My version 2.0 says that your sexuality is largely determined by the things you cannot see, like your feelings about yourself, and how you see and experience yourself and others emotionally. If it's on the outside (i.e. an erection) then it's just puberty. Gay sex is arousing b/c sexual things are arousing (as are things like door knobs and vending machines or just about anything during puberty). Looking at penises is arousing b/c penises by their very nature are arousing, they're sexual parts! Being aroused means nothing more than your eyeballs work. And you're in the full heat of puberty. Likewise, recognizing that guys can be cute only means you have good taste, and eyeballs which work in school (which is a good thing).

Homosexuality doesn't just 'hit' you, it doesn't just happen, and certainly not b/c of the stuff that arouses you. There's a process of awareness which occurs very slowly, based, again, on how you feel inside. Not the stuff that happens on the outside, to your penis.

[michael123]

i dont feel like having a boyfriend and growing feelings with him because i wouldnt like a gay life & wouldnt feel right i want a girl for that & i have had a girlfriend that i liked, BUT its just that HONESTLY i feel more physically/sexually attracted to guys and thats my biggest confussion in my WHOLE life >:(

[Zan0ra]

Well if you feel more attracted to guys emotional, physically and mentally. And feel the same for girls then your bi. If not for girls. then your gay. But you still have a a few more years of puberty left so dont let that get you down. There is nothing wrong with being gay anyway.

[George678]

Well if you feel more attracted to guys emotional, physically and mentally. And feel the same for girls then your bi. If not for girls. then your gay. But you still have a a few more years of puberty left so dont let that get you down. There is nothing wrong with being gay anyway.

I agree.