cigarettes

[thiscityisdead]

im 15,

smoke like a chimney

and have this little problem...

my parentals view me as - "hopelessly lost in my own little world" as they so blindly put it.

my parents are concerned with me being around my family, they have this sort of "image" that they pull off at family gatherings, and they expect me to do the same...this "image" is that my family is *perfect*, yet in the long run my family is far from *perfect*...

yet i ask myself, WHY?, WHY?, WHY?, why do they want me to be something im not, they know i smoke but want me to keep it a secret from the rest of the family

i know that everyone in my family loves me equally...and i think well maybe i should tell the family? maybe i shoudnt? i have no clue what to do,

i think that my family wouldnt really care, yet im afraid that there views of me will change and not love me the way they currently do?

any advice will be greatly appreciated...

thanks in advance =]]

[Burnthecity]

Hey man, i think you should tell your family
there going to find out eventually, you cant hide the smell of smoke, ive tryed

it might cause some problems with your parents but itll all blow over

[ViT0]

well. for the smoking. i do it too ALOT.and my parents eventually found out because its hard to hide the smell. and its definitely hard to stop. so any people in this thread who say stop need to leave because they dont know how hard it is to quit cigarettes (besides that).

talk to your parents about this issue. i mean, its definitely a topic thats serious to you

[byee]

Well, the real issue here is really why your folks see you as self absorbed ("In your own little world"). That they donlt want others to see it is irrelevant to that point. And the smoking? The issue is that it's a bad thing to do regardless of hows arounbd or what they'll think. It's a serious health problem, they should be working with you to address that, as well as the other issue of you're being self absorbed. But, come to think of it, maybe you learned it from them.

[thiscityisdead]

Well, the real issue here is really why your folks see you as self absorbed ("In your own little world"). That they donlt want others to see it is irrelevant to that point. And the smoking? The issue is that it's a bad thing to do regardless of hows arounbd or what they'll think. It's a serious health problem, they should be working with you to address that, as well as the other issue of you're being self absorbed. But, come to think of it, maybe you learned it from them.

thing is im not self absorbed at all, they just dont give a shit(sorry for the language) about me, its horrible to say but its true, the smell of smoke i can get away with because they both smoke [prolly got it from them], yet...i hate how they view "me" as a bad kid, that pisses me off, only if you knew what i knew u'd agree with me there, they're 10,000 times worse.

anyway, more advice would help me out alot, im still confused bout what to do.

[byee]

Oh, I'm not saying I find you self absorbed, I'm just repeating what they're saying. I understand you dispute their description.

It seems as if a lot of the criticism they level at you is inconsistent with their own behavior, which makes it more frustrating. Too bad thay can't see where you might have learned much of what they criticise in you!

If you value their positive opinion of you, then you have to talk with them and try to come up with an understanding about their expectations for you, see what it is they want (and if you agree), and then work on it. Right now, it just sounds like they're just complaining. That's not very constructive, nor is it anything concrete that you can actually work on.

[Cindex]

I can't say "just quit" because it's not that easy. But it would be the simplest solution. Not the easiest mind you, but the simplest. Addictions are hard to break, but you'd be better off in the long run.

As for your family, why should you care? If they think you're self-absorbed, be self-absorbed for a bit. Stop caring what they think. Why do you anyways? My parents 'show' other families that we're perfect. We're not, but I stopped caring. I just do what I do normally.

You need to be yourself and not worry about what other people think quite so much.

[Antares]

They want you to put on an image because you, as a teenager, shouldn't be smoking considering it is probably something viewed negatively in your family as well as our society. So they aren't proud of you in that aspect and thats why they dont want you to be galavanting around while smoking and being something that they dont want to show.
I really think that you shouldnt even bother telling anyone. It may make it awkward or make your family disappointed.
However, it is your choice.
(you should quit but its still your choice)

[Θάνατος]

I agree with Saturn here.

There is no point in telling you family here especially if you are trying to quit.

Living up to an image that everyone has for you is really hard to do. Just some advice do what you think is best for you.

I do think you should quit smoking I quit about six weeks ago. Good luck it is hard to quit.

[Skeln]

Ok, I do not have an addiction but take it from me who knows people who do, tell your family. It's worse to try to hide it and then get caugth than to freely tell them. that way, it at least shows that you trust them and you do not want to hide any secrets from them. Otherwise, when they find out they will have a hard time forgetting what you've done and their trust in you will partly deminish. tell them, they will help you, and that way you wont be the only one getting a lecture. Not saying this is a good thing to do to your parents, but if you openly tell your family everything, including your parents knowledge, then your parents will take some blame. if your family finds out by the smell then whatever you say they will less likely believe, think you're lying, and all the attention and blame will be on you.

[Halibut]

well first of all i think you should ignore your parents. they do not decide your future..you do. and if you smoke or not does not matter. people that have done great things and make lots of money smoke..its bad for your health yes..and costs more money btu it does not make you a lower peson

[Triceratops]

First things first, you're like one year off being legally allowed to smoke? So it doesn't really make you "way too young" or whatever to smoke.
Yes, it really fucks up your health but it's your choice and your body and your family can't make that decision for you. Nobody is perfect and if they DO have this perspective on their own family, then they really need a reality check.

I think they will find out about your smoking, eventually. It's obvious if someone's a smoker or not due to the smell of cigarettes on you, but smoking definitely doesn't make you any less of a person than you already are. No matter what your family might think.

Good luck with everything :) <3

[Bougainvillea]

I have actually been caught. My mother made me
feel like I'm a bad person. Ask yours what they reall
think of it. Also, ask yourself if you want to keep smoking. ;)

[Stark]

I'm 15, and I haven't smoked.

[MysticalBurrito]

Well theres to choices here tell your parents you smoke and are trying to quite or keep it to your self...
personaly id keep it to myself

[INFERNO]

I'm 15, and I haven't smoked.

:yeah::yeah: As much as you may deserve a gold star, this really is of no use to the OP.

Smoking does not make you a better person but I have to ask, if you're 15 and smoking, where are the cigarettes coming from? Either your laws where you are happen to be completely different for smoking than in where I live or someone is breaking a law and giving you some fun cancer sticks.

The image that your family is "perfect" is what is expected in society. People like coming over to a nice house with nice people for a social event rather than a dump with dysfunctional people.

Also, at 15, you have a long ways ahead of you, and although their methods may not be ideal, smoking does shorten it. Them telling you to not smoke yet having them smoke in front of you is not the best move on their part.

Telling them I'm fairly sure would make them somewhat disappointed but it may ease off after a while. But, if you want to then that's your call.

mysteria2000: parents can a fairly large influence on your future, such as giving you adequate living area, clothing, etc... to helping fund some of the tuition for college or university.