Am I?

[deltafan]

First of all, my question is if i am straight/gay/ or bi.

Ok so here goes. I'm 17, and all my life I have been attracted to girls. And I have went out with them and stuff. But I think around 9th grade, I kept glancing at guys, and picturing myself kiss a guy and then that led to watching guy porn, and I was turned on by it. But at the same time I was attracted to girls, and was even dating them at the time. But recently, my friend has come out to me, and soon after that he started flirting with me and I was turned on. So eventually we started flirting back and forth, and then we talked dirty. And then he came over, and I was like "I have never kissed a guy" and he said, well let me show you so we kissed, and eventually made out. The entire time I was looking for a spark, but nothing. And then it led to some hardcore making out. But then i pushed him away and started freaking out. Anyways at that moment I said that I wasn't gay/bi, but just curious. But ever since then I kept thinking "Do I have regrets?". So every time we talked we wound up flirting. So then eventually me and him hung out again, and I kept talking about having regrets and wanting to try again. So we did. It was no where as intense or exciting as before so I eventually stopped because I knew he wasn't into it either. Probably because he didn't want to be making out with what he calls me as the "Safe Christian Boy" (which i basically am). And there was no spark whatso ever. And this entire time I have been into girls, and went out with them too. But still, I keep talking to him and asking myself why i stopped when I did. So i'm just wondering, am I gay, or am I just curious, and enjoying being able to make out with someone (like him) at any time. Help please!!

[byee]

OK, Version 3.0: Homosexuality is on the inside, it's how you FEEL, not on the outside, what makes you hard.

[Requin]

To be gay, we say that you have to be physically and emotionally attached to them.
You say, if it's true, that you had sex, but then you freaked out, this was either because you were scared of having sex with your friend and if felt wierd, or it was the fact that you don't want to be gay and you wanted to stop yourself.

First, it is okay to be gay, there is nothing to be ashamed off. Even though you are christian, and the church talk all sorts of bullshit about gays, just ignore it. Don't be scared of what a group of old men and a 2000 year old book tells you. It's your life and you are what you are, so whatever someone says, you can't change it.

Secondly, you still say you fancy girls, is that because you feel that you should go out with girls because you are a boy and it's (cue horrible word) normal.
Or is it that you do actually have feelings towards them? I don't know that as I'm not very good at seeing how someone feels about something through their words, (that's what Sam's good at)

But your only 17 dude! On average puberty doesn't finish until your early twenties. There's a long way to go and your still developing which more importantly means that hormones are still around your body. These control your feelings and give you sexual urges that are very different to what adults would get.
I expect that these hormones are controlling some of what your feeling, but I'm not going to clarify that as being 100% true.

What I'm trying to say is that your emotions are confused by puberty and hormones, so give it a while, just remain on friendly terms with your friend, and see what happens. You could be gay, but I'm not going to make any final assumptions just in case I'm wrong...but if you'd ask me, because you feel something towards girls, I'd say your at the moment, bi-sexual.

At the moment mind.

[deltafan]

Wait, I never slept with the guy.

[Zan0ra]

Your probably just curios. Since you haven't tried anything before in your life. this curiosity springs up now. You say you had no "spark" when making out correct? You pushed him off because after a while it didn't feel comfortable yes? all these things are aspects of curiosity. so let me put it this way. Your 99.999999% straight. And those are some numbers I am sure you can live with :yeah:

[deltafan]

Haha yeah

[cjdude]

OK, Version 3.0: Homosexuality is on the inside, it's how you FEEL, not on the outside, what makes you hard.

LOL! Sam's got it.
:]

[markmcw]

I would like to try it with a guy just too see... I have made out with girls before but i just have ideas about guys

[INFERNO]

Here's the problem I see, sexual orientation is viewed on a continuum not only as either straight, gay or bisexual. If you want, and I would recommend, look at the Kinsey Scale (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/ak-hhscale.html). The website explains it and it already is fairly simple to understand so no point in me re-iterating the stuff. If you're looking at the Kinsey Scale, I'd say you're between 1-2.

However, before imbedding this in your head, consider what you define homosexuality as. If it's the act of sex between people of the same sex, then it'd be a 0 on the scale but coming close to the 1. Seeing as how you said there was no "spark", I'd say you're at around 0-1 by this definition or in more vague terms, you're "curious".

[deltafan]

ok thanks.

[chris__batman]

First of all, my question is if i am straight/gay/ or bi.

The entire time I was looking for a spark, but nothing. .... And then it led to some hardcore making out. ...... It was no where as intense or exciting as before.....


Im confused, your contradicting yourself through this whole question. You said there was no spark, but then it lead to hard core making out, but there was no spark, but when you made out again the spark could not compare to the first time :what::what::what::what::what: i would love to help you if you explained it a little better.

[deltafan]

Yeah there was no real spark...unless i don't know what a real spark feels like. But the first time we made out we were all over eachother...except with clothes on....haha. And i'm sure if I continued it he would have wanted it to lead to something more. But the second time it wasn't as intense. It was basically "Hey we are making out...whatever". Does that make more sense?

[chris__batman]

Yeah there was no real spark...unless i don't know what a real spark feels like. But the first time we made out we were all over eachother...except with clothes on....haha. And i'm sure if I continued it he would have wanted it to lead to something more. But the second time it wasn't as intense. It was basically "Hey we are making out...whatever". Does that make more sense?


Not really, but ill say this. The reason why you were all over eachother (despite whether you were wearing clothes or not) is because there was a spark between you. Whether it be mental/physical whatever, you dont go at eachother like that if there isnt anything behind it. Could just be hormones, because the first time was really intense, and the second time not so much. So doesnt that tell you that you kinda needed a release so thats why it was so great the first time, but you got over the idea when you did it the second time? The worst thing you could do is lie to yourself though. Because there would be no point to that. So if you liked it the second time even though the spark wasn't there, that might have been due to the situation you were in. Maybe it was just a wrong place/wrong time thing.

Hope i made some sense. :(

[deltafan]

I thought I would give you all an update. He has gotten mad at me in the past for wanting to do stuff, but never as far as he wants to go. So we had a period of no talking. But we started talking again because apparently he was having some religious and family problems. But still I enjoy the thought of doing stuff with him.

[DecemberRain]

I think that you are just curiouse. If you are gay, theres nothing wrong with it. Maybe you are wanting to try stuff out and see what happens? idk..but to me it sounds like your just curiouse.