[[chickaroo92]]
December 28th, 2008, 12:07 AM
No, this isn't some scientific related thread, its more of a vent/rant. Lately I've been trying to keep my feelings in, and not expose them to anyone else. I have a really good friend who I can talk to, but she just listens, which is awesome and everything, but sometimes I need someone who listens and gives advice as well.
You're probably wondering, "why the heck is she talking about this friend, and the meaning of life?" Well, let me explain myself.
Lately I've noticed that I get angry quite easily over small things, like when someone comes over to me and asks if I want to join them in a conversation or whatever, and I reply "No, thanks." Then someone else asks me, and once again, I say no. Then another person asks, and then I feel the fire raising inside of me, and I kind of shake, and yell/ or just get worked up until they leave me alone. Like, I understand they want me to be included in things and whatever else, but sometimes I feel that I need alone time, how can I explain that to them, without them having to think I'm some snobby bitch?
Another thing is, with my principal. My parents love her, like literally. Recently she has told my parents that I am "A snob to the other students, I am obnoxious, and I am not very friendly towards other peers. I also made the principal feel bad," because I didn't participate in the Chanukkah party that my school does for the students. When there's a lot of people around I get whats the word, clasterphobic (sp?) and I explained that to both my parents and principal. I really do not understand why my principal would go to my parents, instead of talking directly to me. When I try talking to my parents, they just ignore me, or tell me its all in my head.
I feel that my life is meaningless. I feel that people are looking at me---always. I feel that my parents treat me unfairly. I sometimes wish I never existed.
You're probably wondering, "why the heck is she talking about this friend, and the meaning of life?" Well, let me explain myself.
Lately I've noticed that I get angry quite easily over small things, like when someone comes over to me and asks if I want to join them in a conversation or whatever, and I reply "No, thanks." Then someone else asks me, and once again, I say no. Then another person asks, and then I feel the fire raising inside of me, and I kind of shake, and yell/ or just get worked up until they leave me alone. Like, I understand they want me to be included in things and whatever else, but sometimes I feel that I need alone time, how can I explain that to them, without them having to think I'm some snobby bitch?
Another thing is, with my principal. My parents love her, like literally. Recently she has told my parents that I am "A snob to the other students, I am obnoxious, and I am not very friendly towards other peers. I also made the principal feel bad," because I didn't participate in the Chanukkah party that my school does for the students. When there's a lot of people around I get whats the word, clasterphobic (sp?) and I explained that to both my parents and principal. I really do not understand why my principal would go to my parents, instead of talking directly to me. When I try talking to my parents, they just ignore me, or tell me its all in my head.
I feel that my life is meaningless. I feel that people are looking at me---always. I feel that my parents treat me unfairly. I sometimes wish I never existed.