Blah. Urges

[eikookmi]

Lately its been getting harder to fight urges of cutting. I desperately want to but i gave my word not to due to a previous situation. But then i think about how i can just do it where no one can see. I just really want to and im on the edge of letting myself do it.


So give me some happy fake cheerful comments that will make me not want to.

[Requin]

Well I'm not really a person who has the word 'cheerful' in his personality dictionary. In fact if you looked up the word Cheerful in the dictionary it would say "An emotion that Requin on VT forums doesn't have in his persona"

But anyway, I'll try my best.
Really, the only thing that I can suggest is to get a writing pad, a pen (helps) and write down your problems, things that are making you stressed. Apparetnly this helps relieve stress and I guess it would make you feel better somehow. (This isn't a blind stab in the dark of advice, I'm just saying doing this may make you feel better)

And/Or get a pillow or something soft and beat the crap into it. Take your anger and frustration out on something un-living and soft. :-)

Anyway, big smile.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f6/Smile_fasdfdsfoiueire.svg/498px-Smile_fasdfdsfoiueire.svg.png

[eikookmi]

Ha lol

Writing anything down makes me want to do it more lol

My pillow doesn't taste good.

And thats such a big face :X

[Requin]

Well it made you laugh. :-)
You don't have to eat the pillow, just beat the crap into it, beat it up.

Well, you could always watch something funny?? Monty Python perhaps?
Take your mind of your troubles, music etc.

Do you want another smile?

[eikookmi]

Well im ok now.
But the urge is gonna come back again :|

[Requin]

I'm just glad I made you feel better. :-)

[byee]

(Then there's Joe. It's funny how differently others can experience us! When I look up 'Requin' in my dictionary, I get "Very smart and caring, dedicated, loyal. See also: Nice guy". Maybe you should be using my dictionary, Joe, I'm happy to share).

OK, onto the OP's dilemma here.

It's a struggle to contain those self destructive urges, and an ongoing one at that. I'm afraid there isn't an easy answer here, I think you need to come up with a lot of ways to recognize the triggers, and then take self protective steps. You know what works for you, do whatever it takes to avoid acting on the urge.

It's important to remember that the urge isn't the real problem here, it's acting on the urge. So, the goal right now isn't so much to eliminate the urge (that will take some time and therapy), but rather to not act on the urge. Success initially is to NOT cut, which is seperate from the urge. It's easier to work on self control, it's going to take some time to discover and resolve WHY you feel it in the first place.

People cut for a lot of reasons, usually all of them are pretty dark, stuff having happened to you, being exposed or violated or deeply hurt in some awful ways. The cutting represents a (very harmful) way of expressing that stuff. The uglines and pain of the cutting mirrors the deeper stuff that you've likely experienced.

However, to really get that stuff out, and keep it out, to be done with it forever, therapy is really a very good idea. There, you can express and understand it all, and also find ways to deal with it and keep it out of your system. I hope you've got someone good to travel that path with you, if you don't I hope you find someone.

Until then (or between appts.), stay focused on NOT responding to the urge.

[eikookmi]

This seems difficult and icky :|

[chelsay13]

don't. I gave in on sunday, and trust me, it'll only make you feel worse.
just think, if you make it like....6 months, without cutting, what an accomplishment it would be. I'm here for you, I'm going through the exact same situation.