I now regret it.

[nachtspiegel]

I dropped out of school when I was fifteen. I never attended a public high school. By the time I was fourteen, I could barely be kept track of, much less expected to go to school. I had the chance to go back to school this year, but I didn't want to be more than a year behind my original graduating class ('10.) Growing up, I was the "smart kid" in school. By the time I was in third grade, I was reading college level, and all throughout elementary school, the staff had to special order books because I was far above the average reading level of the school I was in. The school board tried to skip me several times and put me in magnet schools but my mother always refused. I feel that not being challenged is what led to my downward spiral. No one in my family has ever made it through to the end of their senior year. Most of my family didn't make it past the tenth grade. I wanted to be the first, but when I faced the prospect of starting all over again (I was supposed to be a junior this year but I only had two credits, and you have to have five to be a sophomore,) I decided to withdraw and get my GED. I passed it almost two months ago. Deep down, I knew I would. I was never incapable of doing the work, but my life was so fucked up at that point in time that going to school didn't seem to be a feasible option, and I wasn't as much of a self-starter as I am now. I will be starting college for either the summer term in May or the fall semester in August, and I know that, in a way, I am ahead of many teenagers, but I regret not sticking it out and finishing high school. I am still going to have a future, but I feel like I missed out on a lot.

It's just got me thinking, and, admittedly, I am a bit sad about it. :(