Guilt after cutting?

[chelsay13]

Does anyone here have total guilt after cutting? I mean like, i feel happy for like 3 hours then i get very guilty. yet, for some reason i end up telling an adult, 3 days later i wanna do it again.

[Sapphire]

The closest I get to that is feeling guilty because of how my boyfriend is affected by it.

[chelsay13]

you see, i got everyone close to me involved, so now when i hurt myself i picture me hurting them. so i get guilty :(

[Atonement]

Guilt is complicated. It can drive you to do things you know you shouldn't, or it can be positive and push you to better yourself. Its like stress? Stress can either bog you down and not let you be productive, or can be that special little push to help you accomplish something. Its messed up.

I never feel good about cutting. I feel shitty about it most the time. I know I shouldn't, I do, I know it hurts people around me, I know I will face shit when I try to talk about it, but it is such a release for me at times that the negative doesn't out weigh the positive. Which is when you know you are off the board and in the deep end.

[Sapphire]

you see, i got everyone close to me involved, so now when i hurt myself i picture me hurting them. so i get guilty :(
You can try to use that as a motivator to stop hurting yourself.

[Church]

Why would you wanna cut yourself in the first place?

[Sapphire]

Why would you wanna cut yourself in the first place?
There are plenty of threads on this that you can read. You can always create a thread asking this question too.

[Church]

Don't feel like getting a sob story from a 100 people, just short it to a sentence, I would love to understand why people think this solves their problems

[Sapphire]

Don't feel like getting a sob story from a 100 people, just short it to a sentence, I would love to understand why people think this solves their problems
In a sentence. People cut because they don't have positive ways of coping with negative emotions/situations.
But, you obviously don't want to understand properly because you aren't interested in a proper response.

[Church]

What makes you assume I don't want a proper response? Also I should of answered this myself, people cut themselves because doing a positive thing to cope with problems is to hard for them, I have problems in my life but I do the smart thing, I talk to people about it not cry about it and cut myself complaining about how life has kicked my ass, which 90% of people who cut themselves do, also going to a sub-thread about people cutting selves isn't going to help people that cut themselves stop, it's called go to your school counselor or something ffs

[Sapphire]

You don't want to understand properly because you want a one sentence answer to a complex question.
Your response just now was filled with short-sighted, stereotypical and false views. You obviously are not interested in helping or supporting people with this problem.

You have your short, insufficient answer. Now, we have hi-jacked this thread enough.

[Church]

Stereotypical view? I volunteer at the counseling office at my school and every time a kid comes in with a cutting problem with the counselor its always the same damn thing, "My life sucks, no one loves me" And people that say it to hard to quit after you start, it's called WILL POWER, I use to smoke cause my friends did and I was addicted, I decided to stop doing it and guess what, I DID cause I had the WILL to, I just didn't say, well I'm already addicted so might as well keep doing it

[Sapphire]

Stereotypical view? I volunteer at the counseling office at my school and every time a kid comes in with a cutting problem with the counselor its always the same damn thing, "My life sucks, no one loves me" And people that say it to hard to quit after you start, it's called WILL POWER, I use to smoke cause my friends did and I was addicted, I decided to stop doing it and guess what, I DID cause I had the WILL to, I just didn't say, well I'm already addicted so might as well keep doing it
First off, you aren't allowed access to that sort of information. Either you are lying or you are breaking the law. Either way, you are not the type of person that should be on this site or is capable of understanding this.

You are taking your own narrow experiences and applying it to everyone who self-harms. It is not that simple. Everyone is different. Everyone has different problems. Everyone has different reasons. If you truly wanted to understand then you would be more open to those facts, regardless of your supposed personal encounters.

No one says that stopping self-harming is impossible. No one that I have ever encountered has said that it is harder to stop than any other addiction.

[Church]

I work in the office 5 ft from her's, so ya I can hear them, I sort out files and shit, alphabetize and stuff, but I'm not sitting there the whole time with her if that what you implying, most people that have "problems" and cut themselves have the same problems that everyone else has, they just need to accept them, deal with them, or learn to live with them, not hurt themselves, there are people with real problems in this world not just, "Omg my bf doesn't like me anymore" crap, go compare a 16 yr old girl who cuts herself's problem with a war vet., then determine who has REAL problems in there life

[Sapphire]

I assure you that not every self-harmer has the same problems and issues.
I was groomed by a hebophile, got addicted to self-harm and phone sex, bullied for at least 13 years and sexually abused by one of my now ex-boyfriends every day for about 4 months.
Try saying again that all self-harmers have the same, insignificant issues.

You cannot say that one persons emotional pain is worse than anothers. It is all relative. The support systems of each individual, coping strategies that they have at their disposal and their disposition all contribute greatly.

[Church]

I am honestly laughing my ass off right now, so your saying someone trying to get you in bed is worse than seeing one of your best friends get killed or get a leg blown off? I was in bad relationships before and I don't cry about it, almost everyone that self harm themselves blows everything out of proportion and doesn't even try to stop the problem.

[Sapphire]

Lol. I never compared the two. I simply said that emotional pain is relative. What is traumatic for one, may not be for another. Some people are sensitive to snide remarks and will be very hurt by them, others will be more resilient.
I used my own experience to illustrate that not every self-harmer has the same issues and reasons.

You can crawl back into the s**thole you crawled out of if you are going to insist on being so pig-headed.

[Church]

That little shithole as you call it is "life" I learned to deal with it, not take it out on myself, if you don't know how to deal with emotional pain that your problem and you should see a therapist, I have anger issues sometimes and you don't hear about me going to school with a ak-47 and killing all my classmates, and if you say cutters and people that do school shootings are diff. then you are wrong, they are both people who can't deal with there problems and don't try to, they do the the first thing to try to relieve the pain or w/e even though it is even worse in the long run.

[Sapphire]

Self-harm is a maladaptive coping mechanism. It is bad for the individual and their personal relationships. But, it helps them cope.
There are some people who don't seek help when it is freely offered, but they are not the majority.
Shooting classmates, teachers, colleagues is an illegal form of destructive behaviour.
Like it or not, they are very different.

As for me needing a therapist for self-harm. You are wrong. I don't self-harm anymore and haven't done it regularly for over a year and a half.
I do deal with life. I am living, breathing proof that not all self-harmers are "emo" characters that cut over a glass of spilt milk and view self-harm as an addiction that is impossible to break.

You should get a better grip on the subject at hand.

[chelsay13]

What makes you assume I don't want a proper response? Also I should of answered this myself, people cut themselves because doing a positive thing to cope with problems is to hard for them, I have problems in my life but I do the smart thing, I talk to people about it not cry about it and cut myself complaining about how life has kicked my ass, which 90% of people who cut themselves do, also going to a sub-thread about people cutting selves isn't going to help people that cut themselves stop, it's called go to your school counselor or something ffs

it's not always that easy for me ok? I would LOVE to just go to the school counselo or talk about my problems, but it's hard. I let all my anger and everything into cutting.

[Church]

Cutting is considered ATTEMPTED SUICIDE in the eyes of the law, I should know my dad is a cop, you can go to jail and sent to a therapist if you like it or not, so cutting is a destructive behavior, so yes, any form of self mutilation is against the law, also if you wish so much then do it, I was addicted to smoking, my body and brain said I needed nicotine, not me saying I need to cut myself and convince myself it true, after 6 months of smoking and knowing it was fucking my body up I went to my health teacher, she help me quit, so go talk to your damn teacher or something, not very hard

[Atonement]

Damn people. Off topic. Now, Church, stop posting in this thread. There are better ways to go about this than attack people's coping mechanisms. You don't understand it, so research it. You won't really understand something unless you experience it.

There are plenty of threads out there that ask your exact question. Use the search tool. If you don't understand it, don't post. Simple.

Get back on topic. Now. Next person to post off this thread's specific topic will receive an infraction for contempt.

You are more than welcome to contact me via PM if you ahve a problem

[ShatteredWings]

Does anyone here have total guilt after cutting? I mean like, i feel happy for like 3 hours then i get very guilty. yet, for some reason i end up telling an adult, 3 days later i wanna do it again.

Well. yeah.
If people know and worry, it kinda makes you think more about what *other* people are going to think of you / want to help you. If that made any sense.

In all honesty, i think you should use that guilt to help you not do it. Like, maybe you can make yourself think more that if i do it things will get worse and people will be upset.

[Sunshine Girl]

Um no one is even on topic.
so i guess i will answer the thread
"Does anyone here have total guilt after cutting?"
For me.. yeah. i mean i dont want to do the things i do. im getting a hell of a lot better and i hate when i resort to cutting. sure i feel releived and all but then i feel almost ashamed. its totally confusing and i dont even get it myself :/

[chelsay13]

Um no one is even on topic.
so i guess i will answer the thread
"Does anyone here have total guilt after cutting?"
For me.. yeah. i mean i dont want to do the things i do. im getting a hell of a lot better and i hate when i resort to cutting. sure i feel releived and all but then i feel almost ashamed. its totally confusing and i dont even get it myself :/

I feel the exact same way!!! wow, i'm really not alone :)
thanks for saying that, it may sound odd, but it helped me, thanks :)

[Sunshine Girl]

your welcome?
and no your not alone
:)

[BlackenedSilver]

I feel the same way as well, but I also feel Guilt for how much Im hurting the people that care about me, though being with them usually gives me more reason to cut because I see myself clearly.

[With.My.Radio]

I have really bad guilt. Mostly because of my bf...I don't want my problem to become his problem, I don't want him to worry about me...etc. I feel the same thing you do...happy for awhile but then it all goes downhill.

[XamyX]

I dont think you should be on here, u clearly don understand or dont want to try and understand!! i tried to deal with my problems, i saw a therapist but it never worked, my whole life iv suffered abuse of the people that are ment to b close to me and love me. You clearly havent ever had anything terrible to you and i dont think your in a situation to judge people! Do u actually think i like to have to wear long sleeved tops and always jeans cos the scars, and having to try and talk to my partner about why i do theis to myself....

[ShatteredGlass]

I feel the same way as well, but I also feel Guilt for how much Im hurting the people that care about me, though being with them usually gives me more reason to cut because I see myself clearly.

I feel that way too sometimes, it's like i cut then i talk and hang around the ppl i love. And if i tell them then they get all....dont do that, and why, and all sentimental and caring on me. and then i feel like a total prick and then I feel like i should b punished for being such a blemish in the thoughts of my family-if that makes sense. I really don't get it becuz i'm like a freaking pingpong ball bouncing through emotions quicker than a jack rabbit on crack...This drives me crazy. I feel guilty so i cut and then a feel guilty for cutting so i'm like-then dont cut! But then i'm all like-yeah, but you deserve it....ugh!

[Sapphire]

I feel bad because I know how my boyfriend would feel if/when he finds out. I don't tell anyone apart from him. But even then that's because I can't hide something like that from him when we are changing for bed or getting friendly.

Otherwise, I don't feel guilt over it.

[Origami]

Guilt is complicated. It can drive you to do things you know you shouldn't, or it can be positive and push you to better yourself. Its like stress? Stress can either bog you down and not let you be productive, or can be that special little push to help you accomplish something. Its messed up.

I never feel good about cutting. I feel shitty about it most the time. I know I shouldn't, I do, I know it hurts people around me, I know I will face shit when I try to talk about it, but it is such a release for me at times that the negative doesn't out weigh the positive. Which is when you know you are off the board and in the deep end.


I agree with the guilt being complicated, 9/10 when I've done it, it was because of a guilt, and in a way, to relieve the guilt. So no, after the fact I don't feel guilt, I feel more or less stressed out and tend to wanna be around my friends.

[jma94]

Yeah. I feel guilty.
I'm not quite sure why though.
I suppose it's because I feel pathetic for resorting to such a thing, just to do it again a few days, or maybe a week later.
I've never told anyone about my cutting, so it can't be about hurting people.
Bah, confuzzlin'.

[zyanya]

I feel guilty after cutting for many reason i think. I found this thread by searching for it
I feel like I'm doing something very wrong when i do it although i know i won't be able to
stop. I also feel guilty as first aid supplies are an expense i can;t really afford.
I also fear people I know will hate me for my cutting
Now earlier on in this thread someone was making all knowing comments asking why we cut.
Well each person is different and in the eyes of friends and family
I am considered a well adjusted individual. I have many friends I go out I do well in school.
However, most of my issues thread from childhood issues. I'm adopted and before this happen
I was neglected abused and starved. After being in foster care and then finally being
adopted i was molested. When in middle school i went to hospital
for kids with suicidal tendency s. However, the lack of understanding i received ther just
made me internalize more. After 3 months they judged me cured and kept
me on as an out patient now I'm in college and still have the same problem. However, if you
want some general research on the topic i can provide you with a couple
books to read I read them to understand why i do what i do. They were interesting.
~ Cutting the Pain Away: understanding self-mutilation by Ann Holmes
this is a rather short read and general
~Self-Mutilation: opposing viewpoints
just as the title describes

[Triceratops]

I always used to feel guilty. But now I just feel like the people I know hate me for cutting.

It's almost like, if I don't cut, they'll just treat it like "well you've finally knocked some sense in you then!" I don't expect them to praise me or anything, but they could be a little more supportive if you get what I mean. It's so frustrating and difficult NOT to cave.

I'm not meaning to sound horrible, but I guess I'm just too selfish to care about what others think to my cutting. I've been doing it for years now and I'm just not giving a shit anymore.

[AllyKat675]

Well yea when i did i felt guilty all the time and it sux