Can I actually do it?

[Sapphire]

I have been urged by someone else to report the man that groomed me when I was younger. I know that this is the right thing to do, but I am terrified of actually doing it.

I don't think he'll admit to it because when I've asked him about it, he has denied it and made me feel like I truly am crazy for even thinking those things. I don't want to risk having people not believe me because he denies it. I don't want my family (particularly my parents) to think about me differently.

I am the only bit of evidence (that I know of) that this man is a danger to young teenage girls and a criminal. I doubt that he'll have kept chat logs, pictures etc. I've written about him in a couple of diary entries (when I kept a diary) but I'm not sure if they would be enough.

Sorry for rambling.

EDIT
There are notes on file about him too. Maybe that would help to show that I've not made it up...

[Requin]

Well I'm not going to lie to you. It won't be easy. You will need some sort of evidence to say that he did this too you.
At least that is my knowledge of it somehow. But if he's done it to others then surely there will bound to be a link. This will be a very difficult thing to go through I'm sure, for you and your family.

But you can't let him get away with it. Can you?
But I and I doubt others are not experts on this, maybe that will be your best option, talk to a lawyer of some kind, and see what they say?
Whatever happens I really hope that you get something back and have him put away in jail. I hope anyway. :-)

[Sapphire]

Thanks for replying.

I've just had so many thoughts running through my brain today. Thoughts like "what if he is telling the truth and I am the only girl that he went after?"

I will take your advice and consult a lawyer after Christmas. Try and see if anything can be done and if I am up to it.

I just really don't want my parents to know. Mum may use it as another example of me being secretive and therefore not to be trusted. Dad will probably get even more protective of me and view me even more like a young and vulnerable girl.

[Requin]

Well they don't have to know about the lawyer thing. But if you want to procede with it you can't exactly keep it quiet from them.

But don't be scared of that, that's why men like him do it, they make the girls to scared to do anything about it.
One guy wan't convicted until thirty years later because a group of people who he assaulted got together by accident and did something about it.
But I really hope it goes well for you in the end. Keep us posted. :-)

[Sapphire]

I am going to look into it.
I don't know if I am strong enough to go through with it though.
I don't know if I could face it.

[nachtspiegel]

I know exactly how you feel, as far as not being able to face it is concerned. I couldn't blame you for not doing it, however, I feel that you should. You'd be doing something that no one else could do. Who is to say you are not the only one? This man deserves to be locked away.

[Atonement]

It's worth a shot. I mean, you could not prosecute him this late because evidence would be lacking. BUT, putting an accusation on his record will be a good step if anyone else should come forward and report him. So, on the note, I support. But if you want him to be punished, I don't see it happening by just you. And for all you know, there could be another report against him and you could help legitimize that report.

[Sapphire]

Sorry for wasting your time.

I can't do it.

I am not able to do this.
I know it is what I should do. But, it wouldn't be worth risking my stability over. I have to look after myself.

[Matt_]

If you somehow get any proof at all, get a friend to turn him in for you. It'll make it a lot easier on you.

[Storme]

Sorry for wasting your time.

I can't do it.

I am not able to do this.
I know it is what I should do. But, it wouldn't be worth risking my stability over. I have to look after myself.

You don't have to be sorry and you haven't wasted anyone's time at all. It certainly isn't an easy thing to do. No one can lie and say that it'll all work out ok, because no one knows that for certain. But try and ask yourself why you'd want to report him. Try and make yourself a list of reasons if you can. Getting your thoughts and feelings onto paper might help to make them that bit clearer and help you come to a decision about what you want to do.

Whether he gets found guilty or not isn't what it's all about. When a friend of mine reported her abuse, her perp was found innocent but that doesn't mean she had 'lost' or anything else like that. She had stood up and spoken out - used her voice that she didn't have all those years ago, and found that justice within herself.

It's ok if you don't feel able to do this. I think you're strong and brave for even thinking about it. Try not to brush the idea off completely just yet though. Even if you don't think you would go through with it, talking to someone in the professional field could really help.

[Requin]

Sorry for wasting your time.

I can't do it.

I am not able to do this.
I know it is what I should do. But, it wouldn't be worth risking my stability over. I have to look after myself.

I'm sorry to hear that, someone getting away with it is always a sad thing to hear. But there is no need for you to feel sorry, and you weren't wasting our time. Yes you have to look after yourself and I'm glad that you know what to do.
But it's your life and you know what's best for you. I wish you good luck with whatever it is.

But maybe you may be able to do it in the future when things are a little clearer and easier for you. :D
But at least you can focus on one thing to get on with in your life now. :-)

[Camazotz]

I don't think it really would have mattered. I'm guessing that you didn't have enough evidence to lock him up anyway.