The choices we make.

[The Batman]

I want to write this to give the straight members of this site a taste of what it's like to "choose" to be gay, so they can understand what we are going through.

Since I was 5 years old I didn't want to be attracted to women, they were icky and had cooties so I "chose" the guys. I remember the first guy I chose to have a crush on. He came to school without a shirt under his jacket and I just decided to want to rip his jacket off to touch his body. Since then there have been other guys I've chosen to like. One was this extremely mean and rude kid who would treat me like shit, but it was way better than liking girls so I decided to keep the crush. Another guy had obviously chosen to be straight and was very verbal about it, but I decided that I wanted to like him even though he would probably kick my ass if he found out. Since I chose to be gay I also chose to be depressed about it and damn near suicidal because it seemed like fun. I also chose to stay up at night crying about it and "pretending" that I couldn't change it.

I loved pretending to be in denial about it and finding every excuse for thoughts and feelings that I had(it was kinda like hide and seek). I also chose let my dad think I was gay and then I would have my brother tell the entire world about it so I could be pretend to be angry. I told one of my friends I was gay and when his girlfriend said he didn't take it good I pretended to get depressed and cut myself. I chose to live a lifestyle where finding love seems impossible to me and being constantly depressed and lonely about it.

So here's a heads up if you choose to be gay you might have to have a taste of what I am going through and it's oh so fun.
________________________________________________________________________________ _______

If being gay is a choice why would I choose to go through that? Why wouldn't I get out the moment it started getting bad?

If being gay is truly a choice why would I make it and be destined to go through a lifetime of ridicule, discrimination, and hate?

[Sapphire]

I like the idea of this thread and sympathise with you, but I don't agree with your attempt to generalise this type of experience to everyone who discovers that they aren't heterosexual. Not everyone has the same experience as you did. Not everyone gets depressed about their sexuality. Some people discover it and accept it quite painlessly.

[The Batman]

I know that's why I only put "might have a taste" The reason I was that way is because i was raised believing it was wrong and I have a homophobic dad and grandma.

[byee]

Professor, everytime you show that insightful side I'm reminded why I like and respect you so much.

I think the issue with the 'homosexuality is a choice' is that people don't understand how others are gay, how they become gay. So, they assume that if you acknowledge it, if you say you're gay, then it must be the result of 'Choice'. In short, I think many confuse acknowledgement (or awareness) with choice. It's neither very sophisticated or very accurate, IMNSHO. But, understandable, since we all value the concept of choice, esp. when it comes to things that really matter to us.

The psychology I know, no one really knows with much certainty exactly what factors lead to homosexuality, but everything I've read and every gay person I've ever met, no one really believes it's a conscious choice. Interestingly, no heterosexual person really knows how they became that way, either. I know I didn't choose to be straight, but because it's 'mainstream' no one ever argues that point with me.

Our world for all it's uniqueness values conformity, and when we encounter something that doesn't we try to understand it. Unfortunately, when it comes to homosexuality, the answers people come up with don't adequately explain either how others become who they are, nor do they facilitate accpetance.

Just be who you are, your sexuality is just one part of that.

[Sapphire]

I have a homophobic family too, but I didn't turn out the same way as you did. There are too many factors which can affect sexuality and how we feel about our own sexuality to pin-point causes effectively.

[JohnnyFreight]

I'm sorry but I do not understand this at all.
How can you CHOOSE to be gay?
I mean, you either are or you aren't.
You don't just wake up one day and say "I'm going to be gay"
lol

But I understand parts of it.
Like when I was younger I never really thought any girls where pretty I looked at the other boys.
and for some reason the boys that where really mean to me (physically or verbally) and the really straight ones I found to be even more attractive.
lol funny how that works.

[NightHawksr71]

I'm sorry but I do not understand this at all.
How can you CHOOSE to be gay?
I mean, you either are or you aren't.
You don't just wake up one day and say "I'm going to be gay"
lol

But I understand parts of it.
Like when I was younger I never really thought any girls where pretty I looked at the other boys.
and for some reason the boys that where really mean to me (physically or verbally) and the really straight ones I found to be even more attractive.
lol funny how that works.

You interpreted it the wrong way. Try reading it again. Its pretty much the reverse of the way you understood it. Its just the way its put that makes it a bit confusing.

Shiver: I like the way you put it. I will agree with Sugar and Spice that not everyone has the same experiences while being gay Lesbian or bisexual. Its all a matter of circumstances. however you have to admit that not many people accept someone as gay or lesbian easily. I find that a fair few of heterosexual's believe that being Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual is a choice.

I think the only way anyone would know that its not a choice for certain, Is by being Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual, which would defeat the purpose of Straight people understanding that its not a choice:P
I will say however that there are some people that are very open to other's sexual orientation.

[mr.sexy_bomb]

yeah i Iike it

[The Batman]

NightHawkrs71 pretty much explained it perfectly. I was basically trying to pretty much mock the assumption that homosexuality is a choice.

[chris__batman]

I like the idea of this thread and sympathise with you, but I don't agree with your attempt to generalise this type of experience to everyone who discovers that they aren't heterosexual. Not everyone has the same experience as you did. Not everyone gets depressed about their sexuality. Some people discover it and accept it quite painlessly.


I dont know. I think its not a good idea to generalise, but i dont think its a generalisation. I think that even though you've accepted it, come out, and dealt with it relatively painlessly, there is always at least that "uncomfortable feeling of being different". At least, thats what happened to me.

[Sapphire]

It is a generalisation because not everyone does experience the uncomfortable feeling of being different. I didn't have it at all. One of my ex-girlfriends didn't experience the uncomfortable-ness either when she found out that she was a lesbian.

[chris__batman]

It is a generalisation because not everyone does experience the uncomfortable feeling of being different. I didn't have it at all. One of my ex-girlfriends didn't experience the uncomfortable-ness either when she found out that she was a lesbian.

my bad. I wasnt aware that people like you actually existed. Just know that you are EXTREMELY lucky for what you have (that is being gay without any negativity) because it seems that when i came out, all ive gotten from that day on out, is bad news and situations.

[Sapphire]

my bad. I wasnt aware that people like you actually existed. Just know that you are EXTREMELY lucky for what you have (that is being gay without any negativity) because it seems that when i came out, all ive gotten from that day on out, is bad news and situations.
I was talking about when I realised I was bisexual. I had no issues with getting depressed and stressed out with myself.
I have had issues since coming out to other people though. I tend to not let it get to me so much that I get depressed though and I think that's because I have no problems with my sexuality myself.

[Archer600]

Well I still think it's a choice to be gay. Besides if u live in America all u need to do is complain and some left wing nut job will fix it for you

[chris__batman]

Well I still think it's a choice to be gay. Besides if u live in America all u need to do is complain and some left wing nut job will fix it for you

Or you can be said to one of those retarded Bibel Camps so you can "Prey the Gay Away" until you become suicidal.

*Just note im being sarcastic. For all those out there wondering.

[Archer600]

Or you can be said to one of those retarded Bibel Camps so you can "Prey the Gay Away" until you become suicidal.

*Just note im being sarcastic. For all those out there wondering.
I don't dislike gay people and you'd have to drag me kicking and screaming to a bible camp in fact some of my best friends are gay but I still think it's a choice and nothing gona change that
and if you think I'm like that you would change your mind while u were looking at the teeth I punched out of ur mouth

[Oblivion]

Everyone back on topic please.

[chris__batman]

I don't dislike gay people and you'd have to drag me kicking and screaming to a bible camp in fact some of my best friends are gay but I still think it's a choice and nothing gona change that
and if you think I'm like that you would change your mind while u were looking at the teeth I punched out of ur mouth



Hey.. no need to get violent now. The point of the forum is for personal opinion. Your opinion is that "its a choice to be gay" and mine is that I personally think you have no idea what your talking about. I think that this thread was a great idea, written really well, and its just putting out the message that being gay comes with a LOT of negative shit (I would know, im gay), so if you had many gay friends you would know this if you talked to them. Dont be narrow minded. Im not trying to sound smart, or defensive, just want to rid the world of that idea. :whoops:

[Oblivion]

Hey.. no need to get violent now. The point of the forum is for personal opinion. Your opinion is that "its a choice to be gay" and mine is that I personally think you have no idea what your talking about. I think that this thread was a great idea, written really well, and its just putting out the message that being gay comes with a LOT of negative shit (I would know, im gay), so if you had many gay friends you would know this if you talked to them. Dont be narrow minded. Im not trying to sound smart, or defensive, just want to rid the world of that idea. :whoops:

Everyone back on topic please.

Excuse me. No more.
Anymore bashing or fighting and I'll just close it and hand out warning where need be.

On top of that this isn't a debate- or else Thomas would have placed this in Ramblings of the Wise. Everyone please remember that.

[The Resurrected One]

Do I need to continue this argument with some of my infamous ways?

Edit: No need to say "No you cannot", because I have decided that I will.


I still think it's a choice and nothing gona change that


Says the straight guy who knows nothing about homosexuality.

Ask gay people about being gay. They know better.

[CaptainObvious]

Well I still think it's a choice to be gay. Besides if u live in America all u need to do is complain and some left wing nut job will fix it for you

Do you any proof of that opinion whatsoever? Have you ever bothered to stop and wonder why anyone would willingly choose to be gay, with all of the discrimination, denigration and pain that it can - and often does - bring?

Did you think about any of that? Or did you just throw together a glib opinion to toss on the thread? The simple reality is that the only people who will ever say that being gay is a conscious choice are people who aren't gay. Everyone who is gay knows exactly how much of a choice it is - none - and what you think will never, ever change that. Maybe you should ask some of your gay friends. They'll tell you the truth, as will everyone else who actually knows firsthand. If you choose not to believe it, you are being willfully ignorant, quite simply.

[NightHawksr71]

Well I still think it's a choice to be gay. Besides if u live in America all u need to do is complain and some left wing nut job will fix it for you

Because everyone has been bashing for you for your opinion, Which I believe your completely entitled to, as much as I disagree with it, I'm going to ask you WHY you believe this, I will try to inform you of why its not. Hopefully it will be more successful then the insulting of your intelligence because of your opinion.

[The Resurrected One]

"Because the Bible says so" would be a horrible reason/excuse.

[ShatteredWings]

If being gay is a choice why would I choose to go through that? Why wouldn't I get out the moment it started getting bad?

If being gay is truly a choice why would I make it and be destined to go through a lifetime of ridicule, discrimination, and hate?

That's what i've always thought. I don't think many people would want to, especially if you live in a non-accepting area.

[George678]

I'm sorry but I do not understand this at all.
How can you CHOOSE to be gay?

You dont and thats what I cant understand, Right he obviously choose to be gay yeh but most gays dont including me.
I want to write this to give the straight members of this site a taste of what it's like to "choose" to be gay, so they can understand what we are going through.

Since I was 5 years old I didn't want to be attracted to women, they were icky and had cooties so I "chose" the guys. I remember the first guy I chose to have a crush on. He came to school without a shirt under his jacket and I just decided to want to rip his jacket off to touch his body. Since then there have been other guys I've chosen to like. One was this extremely mean and rude kid who would treat me like shit, but it was way better than liking girls so I decided to keep the crush. Another guy had obviously chosen to be straight and was very verbal about it, but I decided that I wanted to like him even though he would probably kick my ass if he found out. Since I chose to be gay I also chose to be depressed about it and damn near suicidal because it seemed like fun. I also chose to stay up at night crying about it and "pretending" that I couldn't change it.

I loved pretending to be in denial about it and finding every excuse for thoughts and feelings that I had(it was kinda like hide and seek). I also chose let my dad think I was gay and then I would have my brother tell the entire world about it so I could be pretend to be angry. I told one of my friends I was gay and when his girlfriend said he didn't take it good I pretended to get depressed and cut myself. I chose to live a lifestyle where finding love seems impossible to me and being constantly depressed and lonely about it.

So here's a heads up if you choose to be gay you might have to have a taste of what I am going through and it's oh so fun.
________________________________________________________________________________ _______

If being gay is a choice why would I choose to go through that? Why wouldn't I get out the moment it started getting bad?

If being gay is truly a choice why would I make it and be destined to go through a lifetime of ridicule, discrimination, and hate?

Total ballshit

[Mr. Smithers]

Have you ever bothered to stop and wonder why anyone would willingly choose to be gay, with all of the discrimination, denigration and pain that it can - and often does - bring?

You hit the nail right on the head. People just can't seem to realize that. All they think about is it being wrong and sick. They don't realize that if we could choose, it would be stupid and wrong to.

But then again, I have always liked being an individual. I have always told myself if that I could choose to be gay, I probably would.

[NightHawksr71]

You dont and thats what I cant understand, Right he obviously choose to be gay yeh but most gays dont including me.


Total ballshit

RE READ THE OP DAMN IT.

Not only did you contradict your self in that post. You made everyone think that you have the opinion that people "choose" to be gay.

How about I put it this way. instead of reading "choose" in the OP as that, Try reversing it completely, Eg if the OP has "Chose to" Make it so its "chose not to" thats what he really means.

Hopefully you will understand after that. if that doesn't work. with the OP's permission I will re write it the way it should be interpreted.

[The Batman]

You dont and thats what I cant understand, Right he obviously choose to be gay yeh but most gays dont including me.


Total ballshit

I didn't create this thread for someone to call my life ballshit there is a right and respectful way to do things and that wasn't it I would apreciate it if you would treat me and my thread with the same amount of respect that I am showing you.
Thank you

[The Resurrected One]

You dont and thats what I cant understand, Right he obviously choose to be gay yeh but most gays dont including me.


Total ballshit


You must have misunderstood Thomas' point.

[Oblivion]

Total ballshit

That story
*and to anyone else misreading it*
Was complete sarcasm. He was showing how most gay people (including himself) wouldn't choose to be gay- I mean why would they, if it meant being discriminated against, and stereotyped?