a few of my problems

[pleasehelp99]

the very few, or very many problems i have started about 2-3 years ago when my great grandfather died, he was the only person i prayed for, the only person who i looked up to as, well, god basically, and after he died i just went "crazy" ive never cut myself, tried it once and now i cant even look at knifes, im always stressed, family members just annoy me, i hate being spoken to, and im getting more and more hateful, i just cant for the love of me control it,
and it gets worse, i started falling behind in school i got dropped to the lowest language class, the lowest maths class, and the lowest, well. class
i mean, i knew the answers to the question in the subject, i just didint care and when i went to secondary, all the teachers think i have a hand-writing disorder because my handwriting is so terrible, everything else i can control, my spelling, my punctuation, (i aint using it here because really, i cant be botherd) and every day i get more and more beliving that there is somthing very serious happening, and i cant go see a doctor, school nurse, or family member, . doctor would tell my family members,
school nurse would tell my teachers/parents and my family would give me an evil glare
any help is much appreciated, i already know i have a low atention span disorder,ive been told that already
and before you start thinking this is the wrong topic or wrong place to put it, i can assure you it isnt, i put up that grandfather thing because thats when i knew it happend
thanks and bye

any help is worth it

[byee]

Ok, well, if you can relate all your symptoms to the loss of your great grandpa, at the very least you're very very sad about this loss, but perhaps more seriously, clinically depressed. A lot of the symptoms you have would properly fit that diagnosis. And the leading cause of depression is a serious loss, which you acknowledge.

I think you'd do very well to find a way to get some therapy and deal appropriately with the loss and subsequent sadness due to the passing of your great granddad. I'm not sure why no one has seen what you describe as pretty dramatic and noticeable changes in your behavior and mood, but I think when you put all the pieces together for them as you have here, they'll understand and get you the proper treatment to get you back on track and feeling (and doing) better.

Go tell someone.