from left field

[Gumleaf]

ok, this is a strange question but anyways. my mum asked me this morning before she left for work about christmas cards. this saturday we have a big family gathering for christmas where christmas cards are given out on mass. anyways, my mum writes out the cards and plans to do it tonight and she asked me "do you want me to put jo's name (my gf) on them?" well i said i would let her know. but i'm not sure. like my sisters fiance goes on the card but they are getting married so that makes sense, but do you put a girlfriend on family cards? now jo and i have been together for 9 months, she has met these relatives at least twice, and she is going to the party with us on the weekend. i'm thinking she should be in the card. but then there is the other point of view. as far as family goes, she is only my girlfriend, not a family member.....yet! she barely knows these people and they barely know her. idk, i'm thinking yes, but idk. its a tricky situation because i think either way wether we like it or not by having or not having jo on the card we are sending a message of how serious we are. oh wells, i'll figure it out.

[byee]

Stephen, i think the answer to the q is btw'n you and Jo. I'd ask her how she feels, and what she'd like, and respect her wishes, as she's the 'add on'.

However, i think the REAL point is that your folks are sending you a very powerful (and extremely positive) message that they realize how important this relationship is for you and what Jo means to you. I think it's important to recognize that whatever you decide to do about the adding her name, your folks are acknowledging her importance to you, maybe that's what the question/gesture means.

[Sapphire]

It is down to you and Jo to decide, tbh with you.

I am starting to do it a bit with my boyfriend now, but that is after more than a year of being together and it isn't even on every card I send to my family. I don't see it as a statement as to how serious the relationship is and neither does he.

The "adding on" of a partner onto cards to families means different things to different people, IMO, which is why you need to decide with Jo.

[nachtspiegel]

Do they like her? If so, and she is okay with it, I see no problem with it. Your mother obviously wouldn't have asked you about it if she saw any problem with it and as she is the one who does the Christmas cards, if it is okay with her, and it is okay with you and Jo, I see no problem here.
Life is too short to worry about things like this. :)

[Hyper]

Well I think you kind of answered it yourself. To me it would look too serious, not a good idea to leave wrong impressions especially being the teenager in the family xD

I'd go with no

[new_kid_on_the_block]

not really a life changing decision but if it is important to you then just ask jo how she feels and well i dont think your family will be angry for you putting her name on it :D anyway happy christmas :)

[Gumleaf]

ok, well i managed to find a moment to call jo about this late yesterday afternoon. she made a good suggestion and thats what we went along with. some relatives she knows better then others, especially some of my cousins. so basically she is going to be on the cards to some people and not for others. mum thought that made sense so thats what we did. thanks for your suggestions, it helped. :)