Physical contact and guilt

[jargon]

I'm sorry if this is already here somewhere, I looked and couldn't find it. I have an obvious distaste for physical contact. When someone touches me often my skin crawls, sometimes I can't get rid of the feeling of the pressure on me (like if they poke me, or if they pull on my cloths the place that it restrained me by does that), and I often feel stressed and frustrated for a few moments afterward. Mostly though I feel disgusting, I don't know why. Sometimes my skin crawls just seeing friends hug. At the same time, sometimes I want a hug, but if I initiate or allow extended contact (like a hug between friends) with someone I feel irrationally guilty. I'm not looking for a cure or anything, I was just wondering if anyone else felt this way.

[Sapphire]

I used to detest physical contact and felt awkward when it was initiated with me. It made me feel suffocated when my bfs/gfs were all touchy-feely with me and I honestly couldn't wait to get some physical distance between us again.

I know it isn't the same, but just wanted you to know that you aren't completely alone in this.

[alsoknownas]

well i huged a mate and didnt feel good about it (a female friend)

But i would what to hug and be touchy with a GF if i had one

[byee]

Well, you use very strong words to describe your reaction to these things, so i'd say that there's something about it all that's not quite right for you. Maybe you could try to figure out where it comes from.

Comfort level with various things (like touch) can come from such diverse things like prior experience, to family/cultural values, to physical issues like hypersensitivity to touch. If you think about the possible causes you might be able to narrow it down a bit.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

You're not alone. I don't have a particular problem with this, although I'm always uncomfortable touching/hugging anyone I don't know well. Also, I'll never be one of those people who hug their friends every time they say hello or goodbye. If I'm hugging someone, it's out of affection (friendly or otherwise) or because they need a hug.

I did know a girl though, who had the same problem. She could touch people, but didn't seem to do it very often, and she hated it when anyone would touch her. She'd sort of flinch away, and it was obvious it made her feel uncomfortable. Other than that, she was perfectly normal, it wasn't like a symptom of something.

Have you talked to anyone about this? If not, see if you have a physical coming up with your general physician (usually those are annual or every other year around your birthday, or you get one every season before you can compete in school sports). If you do, see how far off it is and decide if you can wait until then, otherwise schedule an appointment. There's no hurry, so don't worry if they can't fit you in for a few weeks--they like to keep things open so the people with "real" illnesses can get in when they need to. This isn't so much of a check-up anyways; you don't need to schedule another physical, just a time to come in and ask a few questions. Just tell your doctor what's going on. They may ask a few questions, answer as best you can. If they don't come around to entertaining some diagnoses, ask if there might be a physical reason for this or if you should talk to a psychiatrist. This could be an anxiety issue, which CAN be worked through. Your GP can probably recommend someone in the area, who will at least a good person to start with.

There's no need to feel guilty. This is just who you are at this point in time, and there's nothing wrong with that. There are a lot of people who don't really care for physical contact of any sort, and plenty of people like you who are really bothered by it. There's nothing you're doing wrong, and right now it's a bit out of your control. Therapy is a good idea though, if you're not already seeing someone. The biggest part of treatment for anxiety is usually cognitive therapy, where the therapist will work with you to figure out what exactly is bothering you and how you can go about getting rid of it. They'll give you the tools you need to fix yourself, and to function in the real world even after you stop seeing them. It's worth a shot. No one should have to deal with this sort of stuff, especially alone. :)

[jargon]

Thanks for the comments/advice etc : ). Just to clarify: I don't feel guilty for not wanting to be in contact with people, I feel guilty for the physical contact its self. Like I shouldn't be touching them, or it’s immoral or something (again to clarify: I’ve never been told physical contact is immoral in any way). I used to be this way when interacting in other ways (usually talking) with people, too. I got over that mostly, though it still took me about 30-40 minutes of revision just to post this for fear I was typing too much or shouldn’t be posting this at all or something, and I apologize if I did do something wrong or sound like I’m complaining.

[BuryYourFlame]

well, pretty much as soon as i got into high school, (year 7 australian) all of my girl friends (two different words) started randomly hugging me and my other guy friends. At first i felt a little awkward but then i got used to it, so yeh...