i just want to cry

[Burnthecity]

i hate my life, its horrible, it all started 5 years ago, my dad left my mom, well now that its just me and my mom since my sister moved out, she thinks of me as the man of the house and im not ready to be, im 15 im not an adult,
i miss my dad so much, i dono, i see him once a month for a day, its just not enough, i need that male figure in my life, i miss having someone to go play catch with, or go do fun stuff, he use to coach my AAA baseball team, well as soon as he left my mom he quit that, so i quit baseball, cause i was only in it to spend time with him.

the girl i wanna be with lives basicly it seems like the other side of the world, she makes me so happy, everytime i talk to her i smile, but i dono if i can do the long distance relation ship thing, like i need her physicly in my life, but i cant bring up the courage to tell her that i cant do it, shes so nice, and shes so happy when shes with me, shes all i think about, shes so beautiful and smart, ugh i hate my life, why does life have to be so dificult :(

not to mention last month i had 3 of my friends die, 2 in a car crash and one jumped infront of a transport truck on a highway because one fo the guys that died was her bf, and she couldnt take living without him,
Fuck i hate my life, im not happy, and theres nothing i can do about it, likfe the title sais, i just want to cry,

my moms almost 200 thousand dollars in det and were living in a house, where my room isnt even big enough for a bed, ive lived on a couch for the past 4 years, not my idea of fun, i dono, im sorry for venting, i just i needed to get that outa my system

[byee]

Wow, that's a bad story, i'm really sorry for you. It IS a lot. It's good you can talk about it and get it off your chest. Even if there's not much else to do, it's better than holding it in.

I think the situation with your mom is probably the easiest to address, b/c you have a bit if control there. Maybe you and she can sit down and talk about her expectations of you as the 'Man of the house' and how burdensome it is for you. Then, you can talk with her about how much you miss your dad. Maybe there's something she can do to help facilitate more time btw'n you? A lot of times, parents have these agreements about visitation and all, but there's some flexibility there if you ask. Ask her. And him, too.

[Burnthecity]

ive tryed talking to my mom shes just, shes been really paranoid since my dad left, she doesnt sleep at night, like i mean i dono

ive talked to my dad about seeing him more, its just the fact that hes always away on business, and its really hard.

im just panicking right now cause i know i have to tell the girl i like that i cant be with her, the pain of not ebing able to physically be with her is hurting me more than i thought it would

[byee]

If you're in Canada and she's a Yank, then i have to assume she knows you can't be with her, right?

Maybe rephrase this for her as 'I'm always with you in spirit.......and MSN'.

[Burnthecity]

she knows i can never see her, she wantts to make best of the bad situation, but its just hurting me, but i dont want to hurt her :(, what should i tell her guys?

[Jean Poutine]

I have just one question : why exactly is it so important for you to be with her physically?

Her emotional support seems important to you. I think you should forget about the physical side of things for a bit and focus on keeping her emotional support, on that side of things anyway. YMMV.

[Burnthecity]

Now im even more confused, redj is saying keep her cause of her emotional support, other are saying that its just gonna get harder as time goes on, uugh!

[Jean Poutine]

Well I'm not built like you are, and I'm definitively going to be different than a lot of people. Thus the advice I give may be markedly different.

I also never said it wouldn't be progressively harder to keep that emotional support, I said you should try keeping it before thinking about physical intimacy.

If I were you (and I'm not, it's up to you to decide if what I'm saying makes sense), I'd hold out until you can see her in person. Sure long distances relationships often fail. Sure it'll be a long time. Sure it'll be hard. But as we say here, "qui ne tente rien, n'a rien" (he who never tries gets nothing).

Once might not see the logic in jeopardising a stable relationship that brings you comfort, but...if it does fail, who says you can't stay friends and still get her emotional support? Why does break ups always have to end up bad?

[byee]

Well, i'm not sure Jason and I are saying that much that's different. I think we're saying that having an online pal is OK as long as you're aware of it's limitations, and that you keep a realistic perspective on it. Hanging out and making a connection is nice, especially since you need it so badly now. Just be aware that it's online, and it cannot be 'everything' for you, stay in control.