derletztetag483
December 12th, 2008, 06:12 PM
sorry about the rambling. but i need to.
i don't even know what to do anymore.
my mom had me when she was 17. the minute she told my real dad she was pregnant, he was gone. my mom had to raise me and go to college at the same time. i don't even want to think about what happened during those years. when i was 3, i moved in with my grandparents. i loved them to death; they raised me. my grandpa was most definitely my favorite person in the world. when i was 6, my mom started dating this guy. i never liked him much. he spoiled me, tried to buy me. but he didn't like me. i wasn't his. when i was 9, him and my mother had my sister. i continued to favor my grandparents, as all the rest of the attention was focused on my sister. however right after my sister was born, my grandpa got diagnosed with lung cancer. i know; everyone's grandparents die. but he was closer than a father to me. he was my hero. he died that same year. i was 10. now, i'm 14. i used to not think about it. i used to live in denial of how hard it was for me to see how much it ruined my grandma. she continues to be my hero, but she moved 40 minutes away so i only get to see her every few weeks. instead, i'm stuck at home with my mom and stepdad who obviously prefer my 4 year old sister. i'm so depressed. and i have been for longer than i realized. i haven't had a good night's sleep in over a year. most weeks i get 4-5 hours of sleep. there are many nights where i don't sleep at all. i can't do work. i can't get myself to. it feels like there's no point. i told my mom i needed to go to a psychologist and she called me a hypochondriac. i'm at my wit's end. how do i handle this?
i don't even know what to do anymore.
my mom had me when she was 17. the minute she told my real dad she was pregnant, he was gone. my mom had to raise me and go to college at the same time. i don't even want to think about what happened during those years. when i was 3, i moved in with my grandparents. i loved them to death; they raised me. my grandpa was most definitely my favorite person in the world. when i was 6, my mom started dating this guy. i never liked him much. he spoiled me, tried to buy me. but he didn't like me. i wasn't his. when i was 9, him and my mother had my sister. i continued to favor my grandparents, as all the rest of the attention was focused on my sister. however right after my sister was born, my grandpa got diagnosed with lung cancer. i know; everyone's grandparents die. but he was closer than a father to me. he was my hero. he died that same year. i was 10. now, i'm 14. i used to not think about it. i used to live in denial of how hard it was for me to see how much it ruined my grandma. she continues to be my hero, but she moved 40 minutes away so i only get to see her every few weeks. instead, i'm stuck at home with my mom and stepdad who obviously prefer my 4 year old sister. i'm so depressed. and i have been for longer than i realized. i haven't had a good night's sleep in over a year. most weeks i get 4-5 hours of sleep. there are many nights where i don't sleep at all. i can't do work. i can't get myself to. it feels like there's no point. i told my mom i needed to go to a psychologist and she called me a hypochondriac. i'm at my wit's end. how do i handle this?