The sadness

[Fiending_the_freedom]

don't know what i'm doing.

I'm fucking miserable.

have been for the last couple days.

its the big fucking empty feeling in my stomach.

Its the fact that i cant fake a smile to save me.

that i've been just sitting in my room, sitting, frowning.

trying to fight the urge to cry my eyes out.



I'm trying not to give myself time to think, time to get more sad, but its too hard.

I'm trying to think of a better explanation than "no reason" or "iunno" when anyone asks me whats wrong.



I'm just so fucking sick of this happening over and over.
for years and years its one big fucking circle.
that doesn't help any chance of hope i have in ever getting better.
i dont have any control.

i don't want to be sad,

i want to be numb.

i dont want to think anymore.

[Raynes]

It may sound like the same thing everyone else says to everyone else on these forums; but you need to seek help. You need a therapist to help you out, depression is a disease, the fact that you don't know whats wrong proves it's a mental condition, this has nothing to do with you Tegan, I believe it's just your mind working against you. I've felt that way before, I know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night crying and not even know why. If you need to cry, then cry, get it out of your system. You need help sweety, you are depressed. I wish you the best, I hope you're okay.