where to from here?

[Gumleaf]

well those that know me or read my posts would know that i've started seeing a counsellor about some depression i'm experiencing and stuff. anyways, before i go any further i've blogged the first part of this story already so sorry if you have read it already but on friday i talked to my best guy friend, adam, on the phone and invited him over because i wasn't doing anything that night. so yeah, he agreed to come over and it was all sweet. while we were talking i built up the courage to tell him about my down times and stuff and that i've started seeing a counsellor to work things out. anyways, not long after he called back and cancelled and gave me some excuse why, but i know the real reason was because of what i told him and stuff. that upset me quite a bit and put me in one of my depressive moods friday night.

so today was the first time i saw him since. we were at church. at morning church my girlfriend doesn't usually come with me, i just usually go with my parents. so i sat with my parents and my friend tiffany came over and talked to me. she just happened to mention that she was suprised adam and i weren't sitting together as we often do. so i told her about what happened which also ment i had to tell her about my depression and that i'm seeing a counsellor and stuff. she said she had no idea, but said she will always be here to chat and stuff. she thinks adam is probably just having trouble understanding it all. she thinks he'll come around. i guess she would know. they were bf/gf for about 6 months.

anyways, i'm not too sure what to do now. do i approach him and talk to him, or do i wait for him? its not like i want him or anyone else to understand. i just need my friends to be there. i'm sorry i told him and everyone else for that matter because its just casuing me more grief. but yeah. i just don't know what to do now.

[Cindex]

Ask him if he still wants to be your friend. Just go up to him and ask if he doesn't want to hang out anymore or what.

Doesn't sound like a very friendly thing. But I'm hoping for you that he'll come around.

[NightHawksr71]

Give him some time, it was probably quite a shock to hear that from you. Just because he distanced himself from you doesn't mean he cares any less, he was probably just shocked and frightened to hear that one of his friends was depressed. not to mention he might have felt a bit helpless knowing that he didn't/ couldn't help you when you needed it.

just give him some time. a few days should do it then after that if he still hasn't talked to you go and talk to him.

[Neverender]

well stephen, you could wait a little while to let it him understand what you told him, and then go and confront him about it. and you can always talk to [tiffany] about some stuff if you need a real person and you cant speak to your counsellor, and don't want to read our posts.

time heals all things, or most things anyways..

[byee]

Stephen, let me put a different spin on this for you, tell me how it works for you. Maybe it's you that feels a little strange since you told Adam? Maybe you're reacting not so much to his perceived reaction (since you don't know for sure what his reaction actually is), but rather your own sense of discomfort revealing this to him?

Whenever people reveal something very personal about themselves, esp. if they see it as an admission of something being different or 'not quite right' about themselves, there's a heightened sense of vulnerability. when people feel vulnerable, they often get very sensitive. In such an emotionally charged state, it's easier to misread the cues, maybe you're misreading Adam's reaction for your own? Maybe you're projecting, assuming he's feeling what you are? Maybe this is happening here?

Since Adam is a besty (one of those 'Stephenisms' I've adopted!), you might talk with him about your feelings here and clear things up. There's that bit of vulnerability that goes along with self disclosure, but with that, comes the opportunity to grow closer. Talk with him, see if there's been a change.