nachtspiegel
December 6th, 2008, 03:02 AM
i wrote a random ramble in the midnight hours of november seventeenth, only to post it on here. i've written what i feel is a continuation of it. i'm not sure where this is going and i don't particularily care if i recieve any comments, but i wrote this one with an aim this time and i wanted to post it somewhere.
December 6th, 2008.
Every time I try to run from you, I come running back. I cannot figure myself out and I am past you until I hear your name, see your face, or look into your eyes. I try not to miss you, although it is nearly impossible. I tried not to love you, although you see where that got me. I'm going to try and move on, but I can barely figure myself out for fifteen minutes and I might just change my mind tomorrow. I'm so tired of being alone but I can't break this hold that you have over me. I'd do anything you want me to: it scares me death. I've done so much for you that you'll never know: it weighs on my mind like the load on an oxen's back. I don't want to tell you this. I cannot tell you. The thought is hard to bear, but admittedly, it has gotten a little easier. It has been almost an entire and year now. The thought of you feeling an ounce of pain drives me completely mad, and I have almost completely devoted the better side of myself to guarding you without fail. I can't save you from the blows, but I try to be the cushion as you fall.
They say that love hurts, and although the cliches are full of loving one that loves another, you never really know how hard it is until you live it.
I will always be here.
December 6th, 2008.
Every time I try to run from you, I come running back. I cannot figure myself out and I am past you until I hear your name, see your face, or look into your eyes. I try not to miss you, although it is nearly impossible. I tried not to love you, although you see where that got me. I'm going to try and move on, but I can barely figure myself out for fifteen minutes and I might just change my mind tomorrow. I'm so tired of being alone but I can't break this hold that you have over me. I'd do anything you want me to: it scares me death. I've done so much for you that you'll never know: it weighs on my mind like the load on an oxen's back. I don't want to tell you this. I cannot tell you. The thought is hard to bear, but admittedly, it has gotten a little easier. It has been almost an entire and year now. The thought of you feeling an ounce of pain drives me completely mad, and I have almost completely devoted the better side of myself to guarding you without fail. I can't save you from the blows, but I try to be the cushion as you fall.
They say that love hurts, and although the cliches are full of loving one that loves another, you never really know how hard it is until you live it.
I will always be here.