First Poem

[Techno Monster]

Okay, this one just kinda came to me, so here it goes:


Notice

You didn't notice.
You didn't notice them,
The proof of my existence,
Etched in crimson on my wrists.

The scars.
Nor the hurt and sadness,
Hiding in my eyes behind the forced smile-
The mask of tainted tears.

Only did you notice,
When metal meets skin for the final time,
And I cease to exist
Then you notice.

[DaretoFallup]

thats....really good....like speechless....really good..

[Underground_Network]

That's amazing Caitlin! The only thing I have to say is that I thing the ending could be worded better. I mean, I like the ending, it's absolutely amazing, but it seems kind of forced, like it doesn't flow. I'm sure there could be a better way of wording that... :/

[Techno Monster]

This my first poem, I'll keep that in mind if I ever write another one. :)

[Underground_Network]

^^ It's absolutely incredible considering the fact that it's your first poem though. And you can always revise a poem you make, and change it up a little, but I felt the same way about the first poem I wrote. I wanted to leave it alone and keep it the way it was. ;)