RebDoomer
November 24th, 2008, 11:20 PM
Okay, simply put, I'm depressed.
I always wonder, why me?
Why do I get all this bad luck?
That's what really made me turn Satanist... but that's a different story...
So uh, every time I think of killing myself, I'm smart, and I know if I did it now, I would be satisfied.
If I dont do it now and I grow up and I hate life even more, I'll have an "adult" conscience and not wanna kill myself even though life would be sucking for me.
So at the moment, I think, why me?
Why would that dirty rotten god choose me to bring bad luck down upon?
I say screw him.
It just sucks so much because I never asked for this...
I never wanted any of this and there was no way for me to prevent it.
I have no friends.
I cant get a girlfriend or even talk to one.
I tried online dating a couple times and my heart has been stabbed many times.
I hate living where I am.
I hate that I'm poor.
I got 2 part time jobs I am just starting...
It just seems like nothing will ever get better.
Seeking counseling wont help me btw, it only makes it worse.
Because they will say oh yeah everything will be alright you just gotta believe.
And try to sweet talk you and crap.
The bad, terrible memories still stick inside me and will never go away.
I always wonder, why me?
Why do I get all this bad luck?
That's what really made me turn Satanist... but that's a different story...
So uh, every time I think of killing myself, I'm smart, and I know if I did it now, I would be satisfied.
If I dont do it now and I grow up and I hate life even more, I'll have an "adult" conscience and not wanna kill myself even though life would be sucking for me.
So at the moment, I think, why me?
Why would that dirty rotten god choose me to bring bad luck down upon?
I say screw him.
It just sucks so much because I never asked for this...
I never wanted any of this and there was no way for me to prevent it.
I have no friends.
I cant get a girlfriend or even talk to one.
I tried online dating a couple times and my heart has been stabbed many times.
I hate living where I am.
I hate that I'm poor.
I got 2 part time jobs I am just starting...
It just seems like nothing will ever get better.
Seeking counseling wont help me btw, it only makes it worse.
Because they will say oh yeah everything will be alright you just gotta believe.
And try to sweet talk you and crap.
The bad, terrible memories still stick inside me and will never go away.