Crisis of identity

[Sapphire]

I am having a bit of a crisis of identity. Yes, it is part of my "illness" (BPD), but it is pulling me apart right now.

I am torn between the two extremes - a studious and hard working girl who cares about her life and an untamable and self-destructive girl who only cares about how she can pick her life apart.

How can I reconile these two when they are so different? How can I be studious and self-destructive?

I don't expect anyone to be able to solve this for me, but if someone offers a few words of reassurance then I would be grateful.

[Hyper]

Unfortunately you can't pick off parts of your personality or ''illness'' that you'd prefer..

Though your problem is problably the BPD.. I hope your doing everything medical for it..

But on a personal level I think you need to give yourself time and try to adjust I guess.

If it was just a personality thing I could tell you to get real in a nice way but since its not all you pretty much can do is try to treat it and do what you need to be happy..

So the only thing I can think of is do what you can do to make yourself as happy as possible or atleast content.

Meh really sorry I'm rolling on 30+ hours of no sleep I hope you got something :P

[Sapphire]

Thank you for your reply, and I did get something out of it :)

I'm getting myself a counsellor because I have been feeling like this for about a week. I know that if I let it go on without doing something then it will get worse.

It is easy to say "I'd be happy if..." but it's another thing to actually do it. And honestly, this illness (and all it entails) is the only thing that is holding me back at the moment.

[Hyper]

Yes its always damn easy knowing what to do or what you want

But if you atleast know what you want, you got something to work for.

Hope you get a good counselor, one with some humor :P