is anyone else here scared of falling for someone?

[just-me]

ill split this into 2 sections so you can either read it all or just the really relivent part.

1)PAST
the one boy ive ever fallen madly for in the past hurt me for so long. i think i actually loved him. he fucked around though, and told my best friends so they told me on prom night in a room full of drunk girls. it was hel. my 7 month boyfriend who i loved so much had fucked some girl at a party and told my best friends. he broke my heart and for a year after i was in pieces, still to this day i think of him most days. it still hurts. but im scared the reminants of this relationship will stay with me for a life time. the day before prom night he MADE me tell him i loved him. those 3 words are now like taboo, i rarely say them, and when i do, it means a hell of alot. but still, when i say them i think of him.

2)PROBLEM
so yes, there is someone i am now finding i speak to all the time, we call each other every night and i realy like being around him. but i know im fallin for him to fast. and im really scared so im actually trying to put myself off him. i am scared for falling for someone i adore.
is this just me?

[ShatteredWings]

Haha, yeah you''re not the only one.

But.. i'm not quite so crazy. It's controllable :P
Seriouslly, don't act like every other girl and go crazy. get your mind of this guy :D

[The Air Guitar Man13]

Yep i feel the same way alot (happens to guys 2 ya know) but some times you just gota slap your self and tell your self, slow down!!!!

Oh ya and that guy that broke your heart was definatly drunk, any non intoxicated guy would never do that to a girl. well at least i wouldent,

P.S. im sorry about what he did to you. :)

[Gumleaf]

after a bad experience like what you have gone through it can be hard to open yourself up to another relationship without thinking about the past and the thinking about the pain that you went through then. i understand how you must be feeling, i know what its like to be cheated on, my ex girlfriend cheated on me (although i didn't find out about it until a few months afterwards). but what i realised is that moving into a new relationship can help to heal that pain you are feeling and that not everyone is the same and that i could actually be happy again. my current girlfriend and i hooked up about a month after that cheating bitch dumped me and the happiness i have had since then has helped me greatly. granted i was much more weary and it took longer to trust my current girlfriend, only because of the memories from before, but i have been able to move into a new relationship and be happy. so what i'm basically saying is that you shouldn't be scared to open your heart again to someone else and although it might be harder to gain that trust with them, it can be worth it and help heal the pain you are feeling now from last time. i hope things work out really well for you.

[Avalikia]

Yeah, I know that feeling. I haven't actually had a messy end to that kind of relationship (yet), but I've experienced more than my fair share of people I trusted turning out to be scum. I'm still having trouble learning to trust anyone I haven't known forever, but I do have some tips that have helped me:

- Notice the differences between the person who harmed you and those you know today. Be careful not to transfer your feelings and memories onto someone new.
- Take any new relationships slowly; allow yourself the extra time you'll need to develop trust in this new person.
- Take the time to review everything you've learned from this experience; you are now less naive and if you learn these life-lessons well you're far less likely to have to go through it all again because you'll see it coming.
- Remember that you can only reduce the chance something like this will happen again; you can't prevent it unless you're willing to give up on love and become the crazy cat lady. But it's worth getting your heart broken a hundred times to find that one person who won't break it.

[just-me]

hmm i know, see ive had other relationships since then but i just didnt open up to them and felt crappy through out them. but i havnt opened my heart since, and thats what im scared off.
im actually trying to make myself NOT like him, im that... scared.
its all just a bit screwed up
the good thing is...
the boy i adore told me he liked me and i told him i liked him too, but he doesnt want a relationship et as hes just broken up with a 3 yr gf, but im totally happy with that, as im still confused.
do i open my heart and take the chance of being hurt.
i still dont know...

[Requin]

Well I take the firm belief amongst MY friends that hitching up is a BAD idea, as most are not ready for that (there well behind most people our age, not good). But everyone's friends are different. To be honest, making yourself trying to not like him won't work, or at least I can't see it working. If you want to stay being friends with him as he's a good friend then, fine. Just don't think about him, think of him as a friend, not as anything else.

BUT, if you do like him, then it's worse to hold your feelings back. YOur past experiences effect you, and this is normal, but you have to forget it, look to the future and all that. If you do want to go out with him, then go for it, let your heart be open and not closed. Let anyone have the key (oooh that's corny, sorry)

[just-me]

ha yes did sound rather cheesy
and allthough i would love to say "its not my fault my heart is closed its just the way it is", although that is partly the case, i kind of like it that way, because atleast i wont get hurt again.
but i know this is a bad place to be in and really, no one can help but myself..

[syd]

I hope I never fuckin' fall in love