the ugliness

[just-me]

stood before me, a reflection of myself.
the flabby stomach, dying to be deprived of food.
the thighs, cut to shreads. new cuts old cuts and scars all intertwined.
the thought in my head of how i acnt cope, how ive had enough.
it was then i truly realised the pure ugliness of my being.
ontology deprived, ruined and tossed aside.
i am being, just. but why?
the inner beauty has left me.
so what is left?
this ruined carcass off what once was "beth".

[UrGoingDown]

Hey, don't say that about yourself.
Everyone has times in their lives where they hate themselves.
Everybody has beauty, just not everybody can see it.

[electric7rocker]

your post reminded me of this poem.. hope you dont mind::

"the first of the last"

you tell her that shes beautiful
but its more than she can see
you tell her that you love her
but its not like she believes

you tell her shes not worthless
but she thinks otherwise
you tell her theres some good to come
but all you say are lies

you hold her hands and pull up her sleeves
and reveal all that shes done
her skin is on fire and her tears boil down
you tell her shes too young

she closes the door and uncaps the bottle
and spills the white death pills
she grabs a handful and looks at you
this one look that could kill

you scream for her to hear you
but theres nothing more to do
this is where you start to cry
you beg her to wait, just a few

she pauses her hand right at her mouth
and slowly unlocks the door
you grab her and hold her and convince her to stay
while your tears drip down to the floor

she looks at you and lets go of the pills
they clatter down from her hand
you sigh in relief and pray shes ok
she hopes you understand

when shes finally asleep in the warmth of your arms
you decide you have to go
tonight was a night that youll never forget
but its one of a million, you know

[BlackenedSilver]

Wow.. That poem is amazing, So moving.

When I read your post, it reminded me of someone... Me. When I look at myself I feel almost the exact same way.
Maybe try making a list of things you like about yourself, or ask your friends what they like about you. Or do something to make you feel better about yourself, have a pamper night with friends, get a new haircut or get a healthy diet (That one works, makes you feel all energetic)
If you ever need to talk feel free to Pm me or add me.

[electric7rocker]

Wow.. That poem is amazing, So moving.

thanks.. i think its one of the best ive ever written


and yeah i pretty much hate myself too
and nothing anyone says really helps so you just gotta believe that you are beautiful inside and out

[Triceratops]

That poem was amazing! Like Blackened Silver said, it was definitely moving! :)

Ugliness is one of the reasons and what I tend to feel when I'm self-injuring.
I bet soooo many others can relate to this.
Aww well done :) ^__^

[Halibut]

Dont look at all the negitive stuff about yourself. look at the positive. it took me a while to do but im starting to do that and im feeling great. dont cut yourself, go out and and do something usefull with your anger and feelings.