"Once a cutter, always a cutter"

[Sapphire]

I am beginning to think that this is true now. I used to think that it was wrong. I used to consider myself to be completely recovered. I don't think recovery in the sense of never wanting to self-harm again is possible. I think that it will always be there.
I miss it. I really do.

Luckily, I haven't lost all sense and realise that starting up again would mean that I would have to limit what activites I do in order to hide the cuts and scars again. My boyfriend would have a fit if I started up again too.

But none of this changes how much I miss it. I miss the cuts, the blood. Even, to an extent, the scars.

[chelsay13]

i know, i miss it too :( i quit 3 weeks ago, and when ever i'm really mad i think about it, but i convince myslef not to

[UrGoingDown]

I'm sure everyone has felt those feelings.
After all, its like an addiction. Its hard to get/stay off of it.
But you're restraining yourself rather well, thats good ^_^

[Sapphire]

I don't think that it will ever leave me.
My patience grows thin every so often which tends to be the time I notice it more. But, looking back, I don't think it ever does go.

Is it possible that being an ex-cutter is like being an ex-alcoholic?

[xGodsMinionx]

it wont ever leave you.... it overcame my life my freshman and sophmore years of highschool... i havent done it since the middle of my sophmore year and im a senior this year.... its never left me.. i still have frequent urges to slit my wrists wide open... but i know i cant because ill get locked up....

[eikookmi]

i never really been a serious cutter. Usually just enough to bleed and so i can feel pain. I haven't dont it for a few weeks. Im really trying hard not to because i know i shouldn't. But there's urges and like a need to do it and it gets hard at times...

[shutoff]

I don't miss anything about it. I haven't cut since Jan. '08 and now when I get just the slightest scratch from something it hurts so bad. I have enough scars all over my body from my cutting to last me a life time. Hope you guys can stop soon and stay "sober".

[Sapphire]

I am glad that you have "come out the other end" as it were.

I feel as if I should be over this by now. My self-harm was at its worst when I was about 14 years old and at 19 years old, I am still struggling with it.

[MissRuby]

Like any addiction, even if you overcome it you probably will never stop thinking about. Like an ex-alcoholic thinks about alcohol but doesn't drink, an ex-self harmer does with hurting themselves. However, I don't think the saying "once a cutter, always a cutter" is true and probably isn't best to think that way anyway.

And by the way, Sugar and Spice, those are the names of two of my cats. :P

[Sapphire]

If it is always there, then it stands to reason that we never stop being self-harmers. It stands to reason that we are simply self-harmers who don't self-harm, like the alcoholic who doesn't drink.

[MissRuby]

A self harmer is defined as someone who purposely harms themselves. If you no longer do that, regardless of what your daily thoughts are, your not a self harmer anymore and can put an "ex" infront of the "self".

[Sapphire]

That is simple semantics.
I mean, do we ever completely "recover"? Will we ever be free of the thoughts, urges, temptations? If we aren't ever free of them, how can we be recovered?

[MissRuby]

You may become free of the urges or temptations at some time but I don't think you'll ever completely forget about it.
I know this is "semantics" again lol, but...
Recovery is defined as when someone is free from something that's harmful to themselves. If you still have urges, then I wouldn't say you are recovered, although I would say you are doing a good job and trying to.

[DarkWingedAngel]

That is simple semantics.
I mean, do we ever completely "recover"? Will we ever be free of the thoughts, urges, temptations? If we aren't ever free of them, how can we be recovered?
exactly
you make a good point

[Sapphire]

You may become free of the urges or temptations at some time but I don't think you'll ever completely forget about it.
I know this is "semantics" again lol, but...
Recovery is defined as when someone is free from something that's harmful to themselves. If you still have urges, then I wouldn't say you are recovered, although I would say you are doing a good job and trying to.
I do know the definitions.

My point is, an ex-self-harmer can suddenly end up resorting back to self-harm even after years of being free of any serious urges and only having fleeting thoughts of it. This is what makes me think that we never completely recover.

[DarkWingedAngel]

yep thats true i had stopped for 2 years then went back agen

[Batt]

I knew that statment was true when I went to a mental hospital I was having panic attacks from not cutting and I would start to itch at my skin. Even now it's been months since I done it but I miss doning it even when I'm not upset. I been going threw mood swings latley and it's getting harder to cope but I know as much as I miss it I can't go back and I would to many of my love ones if I cut.