Kieran11
November 8th, 2008, 09:57 AM
I posted this in puberty but it also applies here... I think.
Hi,
I'm a 17-year-old Caucasian male with a very peculiar set of problems/situations. Yes, I have read the topics of post this and that here but I have more than one question and this is insanely complicated and will take a little time to explain completely. I'd appreciate some advice from those of you nice enough to read and consider my situation fully.
I come from a very old fashioned, namely British, family where the topic of sex let alone the 'nether' regions is never discussed. I was heavily encouraged to 'keep my head down and focus on school and worry about such matters far later on in life as they are certainly not relevant when you're under twenty.' So that's exactly what I did. I'm an excellent student with few friends who has never kissed a girl/guy or sadly masturbated. Until recently I thought this was normal and the lifestyle portrayed by network television a grossly exaggerated work of fiction. I felt pulls toward certain people very rarely but would usually ignore them and wait for it to pass. Eventually with family problems I became very depressed and was put on a medium dose of Prozac.
I've moved away from my family for a year thanks to a scholarship at another school abroad. I've met some nice people and have been able to relax a little more and make friends for the first time in a long time. I also felt a very strong pull toward two people for the first time in my life. First a girl, and then a guy. The physical features of puberty seem to have occurred (body-hair acne) although late. It seems however, the emotional side is vastly under-developed.
Before my trip the subject of sex and the like I found very taboo but upon talking to some friends about it, it surprised me to learn that it was very normal for people my age to be sexually active albeit carefully. (And they are not promiscuous prostitutes as originally taught by ye old traditions.) Gradually as I've become more comfortable talking about sex (seriously even saying 'dirty' words was liable to cause a brain hemorrhage. Writing this message is a huge step for me). I've been able to analyze what I've felt and what I've been feeling. I think I may be bisexual. I also feel like freak for being left so far behind. I fear that I might become something along the lines of the 40-year-old virgin. As I become closer to my friends we began talking about more personal matters.
I was speaking to one of these friends recently and the topic came to masturbation. He asked me how often I masturbated. I've never felt deprived. My friend recommended that I try it as it is supposedly beneficial for a host of reasons and I am not religious. I of course did not ask how my friend arranged his "affairs" but when I got home I realized I had no idea really what to do. I did some research (and this site among others popped up) and I tried, twice with disappointing results. I achieved an erection and nothing much else. Quite honestly I found it boring and could not really see how people could be supposedly "addicted."
Now I have had 1 nocturnal emission in the past (and that was most pleasurable.) Is that what it's supposed to feel like? What am I doing wrong here? Apparently as I have not masturbated at all before I should be getting nocturnal emissions once a week. Knowing that Prozac is a libido killer, I have carefully discontinued taking the drug confident that I will not slip back into depression. I now notice myself feeling frustrated. That I’m not giving something my body needs. I now dream of the prefect relationship and would really like to give it a shot for the first time in my life.
On to problem 2: With my new feelings of romantic nature, I have no idea what to do with them. Yes yes, masturbation is a common cure but the problem persists of me not knowing really what to do and failing at 2 prior attempts. My friends both back home and here suggested porn (and boy did they have ample supply…) Porn does nothing to me as the sight of the organs in use at that time repulse me. I am much more responsive to suggestion than full-blown exposure. I do however react (physically and emotionally) to good-looking guys AND girls, as long as we stay above the equator so to speak. Half of me wants to explore the world of sex yet the traditional me stamps that down. Have most 17 year olds had physical relationships by now? (not necessarily having sex but… experimenting?) How the heck am I supposed to even get to this stage when I can’t even masturbate!? When I think about it, I would only want to do it with someone I loved and know loved me, not just for meaningless sex (or w/e). I feel a new yearning to explore this forbidden world. Does that make me… slutty so to speak? I mean I don’t have, and have never had, people falling all over me – I’m not physically attractive – so I have no experience in such feelings…
As if that wasn’t enough, during my second attempt at masturbation and research I noticed another difference. I am uncircumcised, and noticed it hurt to pull the foreskin back all that far. It seemed to be attached to the head somehow. Is this normal? It almost looks as if it is a part of the urethra…
Some have told me to see a sex therapist about some of these things, however I seem to be making progress on my own with the advice of others. My questions after this elegy are:
1) What am I doing wrong on the masturbation front?
2) Am I experiencing a late sort of puberty here?
3) Is it normal to have physical relationships at this age?
4) What is wrong with my penis?
Sincerely,
Kieran
Hi,
I'm a 17-year-old Caucasian male with a very peculiar set of problems/situations. Yes, I have read the topics of post this and that here but I have more than one question and this is insanely complicated and will take a little time to explain completely. I'd appreciate some advice from those of you nice enough to read and consider my situation fully.
I come from a very old fashioned, namely British, family where the topic of sex let alone the 'nether' regions is never discussed. I was heavily encouraged to 'keep my head down and focus on school and worry about such matters far later on in life as they are certainly not relevant when you're under twenty.' So that's exactly what I did. I'm an excellent student with few friends who has never kissed a girl/guy or sadly masturbated. Until recently I thought this was normal and the lifestyle portrayed by network television a grossly exaggerated work of fiction. I felt pulls toward certain people very rarely but would usually ignore them and wait for it to pass. Eventually with family problems I became very depressed and was put on a medium dose of Prozac.
I've moved away from my family for a year thanks to a scholarship at another school abroad. I've met some nice people and have been able to relax a little more and make friends for the first time in a long time. I also felt a very strong pull toward two people for the first time in my life. First a girl, and then a guy. The physical features of puberty seem to have occurred (body-hair acne) although late. It seems however, the emotional side is vastly under-developed.
Before my trip the subject of sex and the like I found very taboo but upon talking to some friends about it, it surprised me to learn that it was very normal for people my age to be sexually active albeit carefully. (And they are not promiscuous prostitutes as originally taught by ye old traditions.) Gradually as I've become more comfortable talking about sex (seriously even saying 'dirty' words was liable to cause a brain hemorrhage. Writing this message is a huge step for me). I've been able to analyze what I've felt and what I've been feeling. I think I may be bisexual. I also feel like freak for being left so far behind. I fear that I might become something along the lines of the 40-year-old virgin. As I become closer to my friends we began talking about more personal matters.
I was speaking to one of these friends recently and the topic came to masturbation. He asked me how often I masturbated. I've never felt deprived. My friend recommended that I try it as it is supposedly beneficial for a host of reasons and I am not religious. I of course did not ask how my friend arranged his "affairs" but when I got home I realized I had no idea really what to do. I did some research (and this site among others popped up) and I tried, twice with disappointing results. I achieved an erection and nothing much else. Quite honestly I found it boring and could not really see how people could be supposedly "addicted."
Now I have had 1 nocturnal emission in the past (and that was most pleasurable.) Is that what it's supposed to feel like? What am I doing wrong here? Apparently as I have not masturbated at all before I should be getting nocturnal emissions once a week. Knowing that Prozac is a libido killer, I have carefully discontinued taking the drug confident that I will not slip back into depression. I now notice myself feeling frustrated. That I’m not giving something my body needs. I now dream of the prefect relationship and would really like to give it a shot for the first time in my life.
On to problem 2: With my new feelings of romantic nature, I have no idea what to do with them. Yes yes, masturbation is a common cure but the problem persists of me not knowing really what to do and failing at 2 prior attempts. My friends both back home and here suggested porn (and boy did they have ample supply…) Porn does nothing to me as the sight of the organs in use at that time repulse me. I am much more responsive to suggestion than full-blown exposure. I do however react (physically and emotionally) to good-looking guys AND girls, as long as we stay above the equator so to speak. Half of me wants to explore the world of sex yet the traditional me stamps that down. Have most 17 year olds had physical relationships by now? (not necessarily having sex but… experimenting?) How the heck am I supposed to even get to this stage when I can’t even masturbate!? When I think about it, I would only want to do it with someone I loved and know loved me, not just for meaningless sex (or w/e). I feel a new yearning to explore this forbidden world. Does that make me… slutty so to speak? I mean I don’t have, and have never had, people falling all over me – I’m not physically attractive – so I have no experience in such feelings…
As if that wasn’t enough, during my second attempt at masturbation and research I noticed another difference. I am uncircumcised, and noticed it hurt to pull the foreskin back all that far. It seemed to be attached to the head somehow. Is this normal? It almost looks as if it is a part of the urethra…
Some have told me to see a sex therapist about some of these things, however I seem to be making progress on my own with the advice of others. My questions after this elegy are:
1) What am I doing wrong on the masturbation front?
2) Am I experiencing a late sort of puberty here?
3) Is it normal to have physical relationships at this age?
4) What is wrong with my penis?
Sincerely,
Kieran