jacknife
November 8th, 2008, 03:11 AM
Hello there.
I am an 18 year old male. I would say I am pretty insecure and generally have a low self-esteem. Every time I have an opportunity to reflect on my life I feel lonely and depressed. I am also a bit of a masochist (emphasis on A BIT).
I only cut when I'm drunk, and I just so happened to drink tonight. I made many cuts across both my wrists, as well as my left hand; however no blood is coming out. Just a few blood marks, but I couldn't cut deep enough to make the blood pour out like before. Needless to say I am very disappointed about this.
The sight of blood coming from my own body really excites me. I remember the first time I cut I was so proud of myself, and I actually felt happy. I felt like I accomplished something. Most of my life has been marked by failure and emptiness, but cutting is a genuine accomplishment; a genuine expression. And the blood that follows is real, and full of life and value.
If possible, I'd like to talk to all of you more, and I'd also like to help anyone who wants help so that you can become more comfortable with your cutting and recognize what self-harm means to you and signifies about you. I have an understanding of the human condition and want to talk to you and walk you through your mind. There's no reason to be ashamed of yourself for what you do, and you can even embrace it and love yourself for it.
Nice to meet all of you. :)
I am an 18 year old male. I would say I am pretty insecure and generally have a low self-esteem. Every time I have an opportunity to reflect on my life I feel lonely and depressed. I am also a bit of a masochist (emphasis on A BIT).
I only cut when I'm drunk, and I just so happened to drink tonight. I made many cuts across both my wrists, as well as my left hand; however no blood is coming out. Just a few blood marks, but I couldn't cut deep enough to make the blood pour out like before. Needless to say I am very disappointed about this.
The sight of blood coming from my own body really excites me. I remember the first time I cut I was so proud of myself, and I actually felt happy. I felt like I accomplished something. Most of my life has been marked by failure and emptiness, but cutting is a genuine accomplishment; a genuine expression. And the blood that follows is real, and full of life and value.
If possible, I'd like to talk to all of you more, and I'd also like to help anyone who wants help so that you can become more comfortable with your cutting and recognize what self-harm means to you and signifies about you. I have an understanding of the human condition and want to talk to you and walk you through your mind. There's no reason to be ashamed of yourself for what you do, and you can even embrace it and love yourself for it.
Nice to meet all of you. :)