I hate his fucking guts.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

It's been three weeks since we broke up.
we went out for a total of 10 months.

he fucked it up, and it ended.

Since then, he hooked up with a chick at this party, i heard about it confronted him,
he said he wasnt ready for it, it was stupid and a mistake.

then i get told he hooked up with another chick this saturday.
i confront him.
he tells me hes actually interested in her.
i tell him to fuck him self and blocked him.
he calls me,
i'm crying.
he tells me he's only going to take her out on one date and see where it goes.
i hang up on him.


On msn, i tell him he's fucked. that i hate his fucking guts, its only been three fucking weeks.
he tells me that im fucked up enough,
i asked him if me being fucked up makes it easier for him to get over me.
he said yes.
FUCK HIM

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME.
NOT NOW.
i cant handle it now.
im on the edge of loosing myself.
and that just gave me a big push.
i cant belive hes taking this fucking girl on a date.
i cant belive him.
it hurts so bad.

i still love him, he fucked up but that doesnt mean i just stop loving him.
I'm shaking,
i cant breath.
FUCK.

[Atonement]

Don't give him this power on your emotions. Don't allow him tocontrol how you feel and act. Its not healthy. Hun, you're better than him. You know it. Demonstrate it.

Goodluck with everything and I hope it goes better. PM meif you want.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

9:42pmTegan

IS SOMETHING FUCKING WRONG IN YOUR HEAD?
9:42pmBrendan

so who fuckin knows the truth

not really, but lots of things are wrong with yours
9:43pmTegan

WHY THE FUCK, I DONT WANT TO FUCKING KNWO THAT YOUR TAKING HER OUT ON A DATE

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT

9:44pmTegan

you don't know what you just did. you fucked things up in my head so much worse.

i cant take this fucking shit. not now, not now. i fuckign threw up yesterday
becaause of a panic attack not being drunk like people think
9:47pmBrendan

all i can say is that most of the time we had a great relationship,
and i won't forget it, i won't forget you and how amazing of a girl you are,
but right now i can't have you on my mind

it's too hard thinking about you

9:48pmTegan

fuck you. you can do fucking other thing sot get my off your mind,
your fucked how can you fuckign go ona fucking date after three fucking weeks,
after ten months of you and me. do you wLIKE to see me in fucking pain or something

9:48pmBrendan

WELL YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DUMPED ME

I ASSUMED YOUD BE OVER ME

YOU WERE REALLY MAD AT ME THE FIRST COUPLE WEEKS RIGHT?

9:49pmTegan

FOR A FUCKING GOOD REASON. NOT BECAUSE I STOPPED LOVING YOU
Does me being fucked up make it easier for you to get over me?

9:50pmBrendan: yes.

9:50pmTegan: FUCK YOU.

[Atonement]

Hun, why are you still talking to him? If you hate him so much, you need to be strong and block him and not talk to him. Be strong.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

because i still love him and i cant help myself:(
but for this particular reason, it was to confront him about hooking up with the chick.

[Atonement]

I know I will sound insensitive, but you need to let him go. It is for your best interest and you know it.

[Trickster]

Your letting your emotion get the best of u. U LET HIM GO. If u want him back stop being a baby and go get him. Say u made a mistake. He just moving on after u broke up. You need to understand that. He may be looking for someone to get the sting out of u breaking up with him. A rebound girl. By the way that conversation above went it seemed that he was being calm and u were being really bitchy. Sorry if thats too blunt. But think about this:

He loved you and u let him go. Having you on his mind hurts him. He tried to make things right and u didnt let him. He thinks u want to break up for good so he accepts it and moves on. He seems to still be hurt on this inside but he is a boy so he doesnt show his emotions good.
Finally if u want him go get him. Your giving it off that ur unapporchable so he probably wont go back. Go to him if u want him back. and BE NICE!

[The Batman]

I know breaking up is hard but if you don't distance yourself from him your just going to keep getting hurt. If your really through with him then it's time to clean out your closet and let him go.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

Your letting your emotion get the best of u. U LET HIM GO. If u want him back stop being a baby and go get him.
He loved you and u let him go. Having you on his mind hurts him. He tried to make things right and u didnt let him.

i still love him, but the reason we broke up is he did something FUCKED UP to me. so i had to break it off even though i love him so much.
thats why it hurts so much. because yes i do love him and no i can never go back out with him because of what he did. and what he did made me so fucked up in the head (more so than usal) and now hes having a great life and finds a girl already after ten months of being with me.

thats why this hurts so much.

[Trickster]

Relationships are a rollercoaster on ice with children throwing icicles at you. It gonna be painful. But we not many people are gonna know what to say until we know what he did exactly. Depending on what it is depends on if u can work through it or if it just not meant to be...

[Fiending_the_freedom]

ok, since this is vt, i dont mind saying what he did, but still not going to get into much detail,

he violated my body while i was sleeping.
and not the part you would assume.

[The Batman]

You deserve a helluva lot better than that. He's going out and getting over it so why can't you? I"m not saying go hook up with random guys I'm just saying your not going to get over him by thinking about him you need to just put away the things that remind you of him and go have some fun and enjoy the single life.

[DarkWingedAngel]

if he is such a jerk then why waste your time with him
you deserve better than him

[Gumleaf]

tegan, i kind of know what you are feeling here. although the circumstances were different, i don't think the pain is any different. i got dumped by my gf of 15 months for another guy who i later found out that she was cheating on me with. when that all happened it made me feel sick to the stomach. the pain was unbearable and what made it worse seeing her so happy with her new guy while i was left struggling to compose myself whenever i had to see her.

but tegan, what i learnt was that no matter how much you want answers and want to know how their feelings can change so soon, it only causes more heartache trying to find those answers. it was hard, but i tried to block her out and with the support of friends after a few weeks i felt much better. its not an easy road tegan, but i promise you that the pain will go away, but you need to help yourself first by trying to avoid contact with him. that contact stirs things up on the inside and this isn't the time when you want this to happen.

i really hope you can begin to feel better soon and that your troubles will turn around.
:hug:

[Φρανκομβριτ]

lolz hes a looser you are SOO much better off without him. Watch, he's gonna like.....get AIDS or something...

[Fiending_the_freedom]

I deleted & blocked him off my msn.