I Don't Live, I Just Survive

[Underground_Network]

I don't live, I just survive
I don't die, I close my eyes
And can't you see that I'm not dying,
I'm not living, I'm not trying...

I don't let go, but I don't hold on
And I don't see straight,
But I don't see at all;
And I have to admit, you have me enthralled.

Involved with your eyes (involved with your soul)
Even though I can see your demise (the end of it all).
I feel it in my upper torso
I feel it tearing at my heart (is it you?)

Yet I don't live I just survive
And I don't die, I close my eyes
'Cause I'm not dead, but I'm not alive,
I'm in love, but I'm in hell, and I...

I don't move on, but I don't stand still
And I don't give in, but I don't really care.
So just let me breath, while I suffocate
All my life has been misery and pain.

I love you, but I don't love you
I hate you, but I don't hate you.
I massacred your soul, made love to you
And you don't even know my name (Should I feel ashamed?)

And I don't live I just survive
And I don't die, I close my eyes
'Cause I'm not dead, but I'm not alive,
I'm in love, but I'm in hell, and I...

I feel it inside my body, pulsating like
Another part of me, unseen, unheard
But still its startling, just to think
That there's a part of me that I can't see...

Or hear or feel, its slipping away
Its losing appeal, its losing the meaning
It never had, and I don't care any longer
And its not like I've ever really cared (I'm not getting any stronger).

And I don't live I just survive
And I don't die, I close my eyes
'Cause I'm not dead, but I'm not alive,
I'm in love, but I'm in hell, and I...

I don't know if I don't know
And I don't care if I don't care
And I don't stare if you don't stare
And I don't know if I am who I say that I am.

Because I don't live I just survive,
And I don't die, I close my eyes,
'Cause I'm not dead, but I'm not alive,
I'm in love, but I'm in hell, and I just can't do this...