i cut myself again...

[mandypie]

ok well i have always told myself i wouldn't be emo and i wouldn't cut myself but i did again...i broke up with my girlfriend whom i have been dating or five years... my mom found out i was a lesbian and she flipped out...i hurt my girlfriend so much that i can't forgive myself for what i have done... i made 110 slashes horizontally and 3 slashes vertically i had to be taken to the emergency room over it... i am not proud of what i did but my thoughts are "If everyone else is allowed to hurt me in some form of fashion that why in the world can't i hurt myself??" what can i do in the future instead of cutting?

[just-me]

theres plenty of methods its just finding the right one for you, if its anger then punch pillows or slash plastic bottles, put ice on were you cut. if its emotion start writing a diary, its probably best not to read the stuff afterwards but gettin it all down on my computer really helps me. and surely if ever one is hurting you, hurting yourself is the last thing you need? try thinkin that way

[Atonement]

Originally Posted by Blackness_chic
151 Things To do Before You Self-Injure

1. Exercise - running etc.
2. Putting on fake tattoos
3. Drawing on yourself in red marker (make sure it's washable!)
4. Scribbling on sheets an sheets of paper
5. Writing (poetry, stories, journal, etc.)
6. Cuddling with a stuffed toy
7. Being with other people
8. Watching a favorite TV show (preferably a comedy)
9. Posting on web boards, and answering others' posts
10. Thinking about how I DON'T want scars for the summer
11. Painting your nails
12. Going to see a movie
13. Eating something ridiculously sweet (or any favorite food)
14. Doing school work
15. Surf the net
16. Go into chat rooms to talk
17. Call a friend and ask for company
18. Playing a musical instrument
19. Singing
20. Looking up at the sky (night is especially beautiful)
21. Making your own list of things to do instead of SI
22. Punching a punching bad (with gloves on)
23. Snapping a rubber band on your wrist (or hair band)
24. Cover yourself with band-aids where you want to cut
25. Mix warm water and red food coloring, and put in on your skin (feels and looks like blood)
26. Letting yourself cry (can be very difficult for some)
27. Sleep (only if you are tired)
28. A hot shower, or relaxing bath (no razors in the tub, though)
29. Play with a pet
30. Detangling yarn or necklaces
31. Re-organizing your room
32. Cleaning (hmmm...I very rarely use this one!)
33. Having a pillow fight with the wall (yes, neighbors may think you are crazy, but that's OK)
34. Knitting or sewing
35. Reading a good book
36. Dressing up very glamorous (make sure no one can walk in on you, though)
37. Coloring your hair
38. Listening to music (not angry music though-that can trigger)
39. Watching a candle burn (no playing with the flames!)
40. Finding someone else you can help out
41. Meditate
42. Watching a scary (but not bloody) movie.
43. Work on a website
44. Have a vivid fantasy love affair with a celebrity
45. Go somewhere very public
46. Bake cookies
47. Alphabetize your CDs
48. Chewing leather (especially if you SI by biting)
49. Buy a home Henna tattoo kit (peels off the next day-similar to skin picking)
50. Painting or drawing
51. Ripping paper into itty-bitty pieces
52. Hugs-(this one is very nice...)
53. Writing letters or email
54. Talk to yourself (or if that feels weird, buy a small tape recorder-I then feel like someone is listening)
55. Stroke nice fabrics
56. Hug a pillow
57. Hyper focus on something like a rock, hand, etc.
58. Fingerprint
59. Scream real loud (I LOVE this one-just make sure no one is home)
60. Dance
61. Make hot chocolate (mmmmm....)
62. pop bubble wrap
63. play with modeling clay or Play-Dough
64. count to one hundred
65. Build a pillow fort
66. pop balloons
67. Hug yourself
68. Shoot hoops, hit a volleyball against the wall etc.
69. Reading things in a different language
70) Going for a nice, long drive
71) Complete something you've been putting off
72) Drinking absurd amounts of tea
73) Breaking plastic plates
74) Tearing up socks
75) Throwing socks against the wall
76) Archery
77) Rock climbing
78) Take up a new hobby
79) Organize bills and such
80) Cook a meal
81) Go out for ice cream
82) Buy a stuffed animal (I collect Beanie Babies)
83) Look at pretty things-like flowers or artwork
84) Create Something
85) Pray
86) Trow socks against the wall
87) Make a list of blessings in your life
88) Read the Bible
89) Go to a friend's house
90) Take up fencing
91) Watch an old, happy movie
92) Call a Help hot line or your Therapist
93) Talk to someone close to you that knows
94) Throw a temper-tantrum
95) Hit things-other than yourself
96) Ride a bicycle
97) Polish silver or jewelery
98) Gardening or watering house plants
99) Memorizing German poetry (silly, but works!)
100) CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!
101) Feed the ducks or birds or squirrels, etc.
102) Draw on the walls
103) Play with face paint
104) Do very glamorous make-up
105) Color with crayons
106) Memorize a novel or play or song
107) Put on boots and STAMP
108) Stretch
109) Find butterflies
110) Watch fish
111) Come up with baby names (even if you're not pregnant
112) Make mashed potatoes
113) Make a tape of your favorite songs
114) Name all of your stuffed animals
115) Go SHOPPING!!!!
116) Get into my PJ's and just veg.
117) Buy cheap teddy bears and take out anger on them instead of self.
118) Throw everything (except glass) into the center
119) Go to a loud concert
120) Play the 15 minute game (say you can't cut for 15 minutes, and when the time is up, start again)
121) Plan your wedding / prom
122) Hunt for stuff on eBay (you can find ANYTHING there)
123) Alphabetize your books
124) Hunt for your perfect home in the paper
125) Take up Tai Chi
126) Try to make as many words out of your full name as possible, then do your friends names)
127) count ceiling tiles/lights
128) go clubbing
129) search ridiculous things on the web
130) Color coordinate your wardrobe
131) do a home tan on yourself
132) sort all your photographs
133) colour (or scribble) over the pretty women in magazines
134) plan a dinner party
135) play with a slinky
136) but yourself some toys and play
137) start collecting something
138) get a tattoo / piercing
139) play video/computer games
140) do a trash clean at your local park
141) Play on a swing set
142) go out and perform a random act of kindness for someone
143) call up an old friend
144) write yourself an "I love you because" letter
145) put on fake nails
145) try to build something
146) re-arrange your house
147) go to a public place and people watch
148) go through all your old stuff
149) go bargain - hunting
150) smile at at least five people (you usually end up smiling genuinely yourself.)
151) go to the zoo and rename all the animals.

[mandypie]

hey thank you for the list...i have done quite a few of those things and they don't really help...

[Jekyll]

hey i know you feel really craing is not the answer ive been clean 2 months but im finding it rep but cuttally hard. that list isnt all that good. the best way is to when ever you feel down get a blank cd or even one you dont like bend it around the plece you cut most and then try cutting into it. it kinda releves the stress but still leaves the urge to acctually cut. but if you ever need to talk or anything feel free to leave me a pm or add me on msn [email protected]